Steve Spurrier today announced he was re-hiring Steve Spurrier as offensive coordinator, capping off a bizarre several months during which Steve Spurrier has said that both Steve Spurrier Sr. and Steve Spurrier Jr. would serve as primary play-callers.
In other words, that didn't take long.
This year, I know there has been a lot of talk this summer about play calling. Let me just get that straight. I will be responsible for the play calling. Steve Jr. has been coaching with me going into 11 years now and together we will get the play calling done. The plan right now is for him to sort of put it all together and we'll get it in there. I will oversee all the play calling. I'm still the offensive coordinator.
Well, glad we got that all cleared up. SOS Sr. "will be responsible for the play calling." SOS Sr. and Jr. "will get the ply calling done." And, in case you didn't understand, SOS Jr. will "put it all together and we'll get it in there."
Granted, C&F is fine with SOS Sr. calling the plays. He trusts Spurrier Sr. to make the call on whether SOS Jr. is ready to call the plays. But the statement above borders on incoherence.
The statement was part of Spurrier's summer report to the media ahead of SEC Media Days. (More on that next week.)
Some other highlights:
"Everybody talks about how, 'This guy's in his 60s. He's going to walk away from this thing,' " said Spurrier, 63. "I feel just as good as I did when I was in my 40s."
"I'm not trying to brag, but I shot the same number in Lake Tahoe in 1990 as I shot last Sunday," Spurrier said of his participation in last week's celebrity golf tournament. "Physically, I'm the same as I was in 1990 right before I coached my first year at Florida. ... That age thing's a funny thing. But I feel a good five more years easy. I really do. I don't know what else I'd do."
Why does it not surprise C&F that Spurrier measures his health in terms of his golf game?
Tommy Beecher will be the QB. You mean Stephen Garcia? No, Tommy Bee-- Oh, Chris Smelley. Sigh.
Again, want to reiterate, Tommy Beecher is going to have a chance to be our quarterback. He has not had a chance, going into his fourth year now and we are going to give him every opportunity to be the quarterback. Chris Smelley has, again, had a good summer and done everything from what I hear, but Tommy Beecher is going to get a chance. Barring injury, he should go the distance and whatever it takes, the first game, second game and down the line. This is not, he goes bad the next guy goes in, Tommy Beecher right now is getting his shot.
So, shame on those who have speculated that Beecher might not be the actual starter. What's that you say? I do not recall that.
Summer practices are going well, which is something that hasn't been said in years past. Spurrier has moaned and groaned about some players' lackadaisical work ethic -- with good reason -- ever since he got to South Carolina. This year, it's apparently getting better.
Our players have had a good summer. Some of the groups have done very well. The offensive line, from what we hear, has had close to 100 percent attendance. They have really done well in the off-season program. Running backs have been very good; I think our two quarterbacks have been close to perfect. ... As we know, sometimes those freshmen are not perfect but work with them and hope they get the message soon about the commitment level it takes if we are going to compete at the highest level in the SEC.
This is encouraging, with the part about freshmen being the most encouraging. Guys that aren't at the summer workouts by their third or fourth year aren't going to get it. But if freshmen are there, that experience will carry over and become part of what's expected of players.
This is building a program, folks. It's not all about recruiting the four-stars and calling ball plays. Or having your son call ball plays. Or calling ball plays with your son. Or...
Best ripped-out-of-context quote: "Looking forward to all the ladies coming to the Colonial Center."