10:53 a.m. St. Nick takes the podium. Judging from the number of Alabama shirts in the crowd, this could be worse than Tebow.

10:57 a.m. St. Nick: "I will not be the next Iowa head coach."

10:58 a.m. Alabama is young this year, and doesn't have a lot of depth, according to St. Nick. Is he playing down expectations heading into this year. He's playing up the game against the Team from the Upstate as a development opportunity; in other words, those of us hoping they'll beat the Tiggers might be disappointed.

11:01 a.m. St. Nick says Terrence Farmer's departure was a "mutual" decision based on Farmer's desire to play more. This will change neither Brian nor RBR's mind.

11:02 a.m. "I will not be the next Arizona head coach."

11:04 a.m. Someone asks St. Nick how he personally deals with the mediocrity of last year. Saban fixes an icy glare on the man, who is instantly vaporized.

11:07 a.m. "I will not be the next Notre Dame head coach."

11:09 a.m. St. Nick is talking about "self actualization" and "self esteem" training. This is weird.

11:10 a.m. Someone asks about the game against the Team from the Upstate. St. Nick says it will be "a challenge for our team relative to seeing where we are and how we compete and where we need to go to get better -- win or lose." This is completely unimportant for those of us who simply want to see the Tiggers lose.

11:12 a.m. Scrutiny from leaving Miami was "difficult."

11:13 a.m. "I will not be the next Louisville head coach."

11:15 a.m. St. Nick: Petrino would have been "a great coach in the NFL." This statement is verifiably false.

11:18 a.m. What is the timetable for Alabama's return to national prominence? St. Nick stresses that there is no timetable and the program will make "small, incremental improvements." So they'll beat Arkansas State this year?

Supports St. Nick's stance on a timetable.

11:19 a.m. On Miles' Louisiana statement: "He told the truth; he told it like it was. ... We need to earn (respect)." He's thinking "We will kill LSU dead this year."

11:28 a.m. St. Nick is fascinated with sports psychology. Pipe down with this New Age psychobabble, St. Nick, or you'll end up sounding like Pete Carroll.