BlogPoll Roundtable: Waiter, there's a fly in my soup

This week's BlogPoll Roundtable is hosted by Braves & Birds...

Your college football program wants to know how you, its valued customer, thinks of your consumer experience! Please help your program evaluate its performance in the first two weeks of the season! Can you feel the [INSERT NAME OF PROGRAM HERE] difference!?!

1. How would you rate your program's service to you in the first two weeks of the season?

You can rest assured that, unless something changes, I'm never coming back to this dump. It either takes way too long for the meal to come (as against N.C. State) or it's not at all what I ordered (at Vanderbilt). I don't know if it's the fault of the management, as some suggest, or the staff. But I'm not satisfied at all with this "service."

This was against N.C. State.

2. How happy are you with your program's overall scheme? We are in a period in which the spread has become a total obsession in the media. If you're a fan of a spread team, are you happy with the way your program has implemented it? If you're a fan of a non-spread team, do you wish that your program would convert to this Xenu of offenses?

It doesn't really matter if we don't have a quarterback that can make good decisions. South Carolina does occasionally go to a spread formation, though it usually hasn't been a major component of the game plan and isn't what you would really call a "spread offense." (It was used very effectively in the second half against Vanderbilt, until it was overused and the Commodores adjusted to it.) If Stephen Garcia is going to play, and if he's really the dual threat he's supposed to be, then maybe looking at a spread offense would be worth it. But I still think you can just as easily win with the spread as without it.

3. Rate your stadium's cleanliness and menu options.

The parts of Williams-Brice I've seen usually have your standard sports stadium menu options -- nachoes, Coke, pretzels, etc. Though I must admit the hot cocoa in the cold of last year's game against the Team from the Upstate was a nice touch. As for cleanliness, it seemed to be nicer when I returned last year than I remember it being. Part of that was probably the sprucing-up that Spurrier ushered in when he came, with garnet paint and signs and things that made it look like the WB actually belonged to a team instead of a high-school athletics association. But I've always loved the WB, and it's not like it was ever a dump or anything.

4. As an incentive to provide your valued feedback, you will be entered into a drawing for exciting prizes! What one prize would you like for your program?

A quarterback. Not a great quarterback. Just one who go an entire game against an unranked team without throwing two interceptions. That's all, really. Give me John Parker Wilson. Heck, give me a Craig Krenzel clone. Anyone who won't screw up the game.

Yes; I'd even take Phil Petty back.

5. Since we're all about choices, take one of the following two options for entertainment's sake:

a. What's your most memorable experience involving a comment card?

b. If your program were a casual dining chain, which one would it be? Yes, this is a tricky question because the defining characteristic of a casual dining chain is its sameness. No one said this Roundtable would be easy. Bonus points if you can make a compelling case that your program is Chotchkie's or Flingers.

b. Ruby Tuesday. They say in their new commericals that "Everything's changed at Ruby Tuesday," but in the end you know it's going to be the same generic Americana they've always served. Each new regime promises us that "Everything's going to change at South Carolina."

But the more things change, the more they stay the same.