The Tweet Sheet 06.22.11: mining the twittersphere so you don't have to

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We're going to keep the baseball theme rolling this week with Michael Roth as our cover boy. Strike that. Cover man. How else would you describe someone with a 0.97 ERA in 130.1 innings pitched? Sure, Michael Roth could have called up Jimmy John's, ordered a #16, and sat around wringing his hands until he heard his name called, but that's not what men do. Instead, he doubled up with an extra helping of determination and got his mind and body right for the Super Regional. It takes a lot of dedication to focus so completely on a goal like that. And speaking of dedication...

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Well, that might just run in the family. If you haven't seen it yet, this is the tweet that Michael Roth announced to the world that his father quit his job in order to see him pitch live at the College World Series. I'm starting to get the idea that nobody in the Roth family does anything half-assed. When Papa Roth says he's never going to miss his son playing in the CWS again, by God, he means it. Mama Roth probably doesn't just make the family waffles for breakfast, she makes Belgian waffles - the king of waffles. Blacksheep Uncle Roth? He doesn't just pull a quarter out from behind your ear at Thanksgiving. He does the whole saw-a-lady-in-half shebang. Apparently, nothing is going to keep a Roth from doing what he wants to do - especially not a wimply little recession.


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You know what, Andy Demetra? You're alright in my book.


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I don't think the LA Dodgers know how to budget anything.

 

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We're Roth heavy this edition, but I wouldn't want it any other way in the middle of the College World Series. I hadn't quite realized this, myself. Pretty cool, right? Here Michael Roth is lamenting the fact that Nike decked out their teams in swag like it was a bowl game whereas Under Armour couldn't even throw a $30 lanyard our boys' way. Get it together, UA. It's bad enough when you charge me $70 for a polo shirt that I have to worry about getting a "run" in it like panty hose. Loosen the purse strings and show Nike that you actually know how to market. YOU MUST PROTECT YOUR IMAGE!

 

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Of course, you just know some Clemson fan had to throw his two cents in. I think Roth handled the situation with particular aplomb. TKBTigers1981 knows we beat them in football too, right?

 

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I can't tell you how much I love this tweet. It raises so many questions. Where does John Whittle get his inside Equestrian information? What does a barn manager do? What happened to our old barn manager? Is there anyone out there who read this tweet and thought to themselves "Finally! I've been saying this for years!" Unfortunately, I don't have any answers for you, dear reader. John Whittle, if you're out there reading this, I expect you to keep me abreast of the situation.

 

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I must admit that there is probably no tweeter I enjoy reading more than Marcus Lattimore. Everything this kid says is tinged with the same sort of marvel that a two year old might have when discovering the world for the first time. I probably couldn't count the number of times he's said "loving this Columbia life right now!" on one hand. Here, he is apparently gussied up in "white boy swag." What that means I don't know, but I sincerely hope it doesn't involve Croakies.

 

That's it for this edition, folks. Stay safe out there in the twittersphere. Clicking on those tinyurl.com links might seem like a good idea at the time, but remember: You cannot unsee something.

 

Go 'Cocks!

 

P.S. As always, you may find the GABA commentariat under the names below:

Gamecock Man: @GABAttack

The Feathered Warrior: @FeatherdWarrior

Skulls and Spurs: @SkullsandSpurs

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