The Weekly GABAbag

"Daggum, this week's GABAbag is shorter than Bryce Sherman!" - USA TODAY Sports

Recruiting players in dreams, dogs, bunting, and more! (Barely!)

This week's GABAbag is crazy short, which is fine by me because I'm swamped at the office. Don't forget, dear readers, all us GABA writers have day jobs, and until SBNation starts stroking out checks for all these #pageviews we're generating, we're forced to prioritize more lucrative income channels. [DISCLAIMER: WE AT GABA LOVE SB NATION DO NOT THINK WE ARE UNGRATEFUL, OUR #PAGEVIEWS ARE BUT TRIBUTES UNTO THEE OH GLORIOUS MOTHERSHIP].

To the Bag!

Billy from Leftover Hot Dog asks, "If someone has a dream he is showing Derrell Scott around on a recruiting visit and in the dream Scott is unimpressed, should that someone follow recruiting less or work on his recruiting pitch more? Asking for a friend. Thanks."

What obsessed fan hasn't found a way to become involved in his favorite team's affairs via Never-Never Land? I've had nightmares in July where I'm watching Clemson decimate the Gamecocks, causing me to burst awake in a cold sweat. I've dreamt about being thrust into game action and throwing a football over them mountains (and somehow completing the pass.) I even jogged with Robert Griffin during the Redskins' playoff run last fall. We overinvested fans spend so many of our waking hours focusing on these teams and players that they're bound to architect our dreamscapes from time to time.

Recruiting dreams, though? That's a pretty serious case, but more disturbing still is my reaction to your scenario, which isn't to question your sanity but instead question how seriously I'm taking Derrell Scott's recruitment. I know he's the top APB in the class, but maybe I'm undervaluing him. I mean, should I too be dreaming about escorting the four star running back through sparkling facilities I've never actually seen?

Anyway, yes, you should be concerned by DreamScott's lack of interest. Step up your game, Billy! I know dream recruiting can be difficult because you're on a tight schedule and you feel like you're walking through quicksand and you just remembered your final is tomorrow and you haven't gone to class all semester and there's a T-Rex stampeding through the Horseshoe and he just spotted you, but I need you to focus...don't let him leave without a verbal!

MeetMeAtTapps commands, "Rank these dogs:

...and...

Oooh, tough one. I always smile when I see a dog carrying something in its mouth, because they always seem so content to do so. I once dogsat a bichon frise that refused to embark on a walk without securing a stick he could carry along the way. And the dog in the GIF is serving a practical role usually reserved for twelve-year-old male humans. Awww, he thinks he's people!

But on the other hand, the second dog is howling to my favorite song on the new Vampire Weekend album. True story: my uncle has a dog named Bear who does the same thing whenever he hears Tom Waits. Doesn't matter if it's gravelly crooner Tom Waits from Closing Time or the junkyard madman Tom Waits from Bone Machine, Bear's right there with him. Dogs are weird, man. But I digress: I rank the first dog higher because it sets a better precedent: all batboys should be replaced by dogs, but I'd occasionally like to listen to Vampire Weekend without the howling.

(Hey, we never explicitly said your question had to be Gamecock related, did we?)

@RubrChickens asks, "Why does Nick Chubb?"

Because Mark Richt has lost control of abstract hypotheticals! By the way, now that Chubb looks like he's going to be a part of the UGA stable of running backs, does that mean the SEC has to prepare for the three-pronged attack of Gurshlubb? I'm not sure the world is ready.

@chickenhoops asks, "Bunting—great baseball play, greatest baseball play, or simply most patriotic decoration?"

Yeah, right now Gamecock fans don't want to hear about bunting unless it's hanging from a Fourth of July parade float in a few weeks. Hey, @chickenhoops, did you know you wrote an outstanding longform piece about the value of bunting and how it affected Carolina in Tuesday's game? In case you didn't, you should go read it.

***

Hey, I told you it was gonna be short. If you're troubled by this, you can either submit a question/comment for next week's GABAbag or come to my office and do all my work. Ping us on Twitter (@GABAttack) or send your entry to gabamailbag@gmail.com. Until next week!

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