Capital One Bowl Graphical Review

Also, a gripe about the vortices, specifically those of the polar variety.

First, a quick word about the weather: I don't mind it chilly. Like, rosy cheeks, clear skies, cup of coffee chilly. What I can't abide is the kind of bullying cold that interferes with one's daily flow. "Welp, need to wheel out the garbage guess I'll just step outsiOOOH MY GOD SO COLD BACK INSIDE THE GARBAGE CAN WAIT TIL NEXT WEEK HAVE AT IT RACCOONS." But such was the situation these past few days, when the polar vortex acted as a very real metaphor for the death of the college football season. Folks, the only vortex I give a certified damn about is the Nerf Vortex Howler™, the whistlin' football you could throw 9,000 yards if you had the wind. Anyone who played schoolyard ball in the 90s should be familiar with these puppies:

Nerf-vortex-howler_medium

via 3.bp.blogspot.com

Whoa, do you think they intentionally made it look like a snake's head? How am I just noticing this? Anyway, the Howler continues to be the one vortex I actively support, a stance underscored by the barbaric polar vortex unceremoniously cranking down our national thermostat this past week. What garbage! We Charlestonians have been known to deal with a vortex in the past, but we didn't sign up for some rogue deep freeze dragging its cyclonic ass across our state like an enormous, ringworm-addled space beagle.

But, hey, I've hit the minimum word count for a post so enough about the weather! Below is the Capital One Bowl Graphical Review. (Click here to view the regular season in review graphic throwdown):

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