Winter Workouts End, BAMF Awards Doled Out

Just look at that Little BAMF - Jeff Blake-USA TODAY Sports

This is an actual award, people.

Breaking news out of winter workouts:

Congrats to Mike "Matoozles" Matulis, who took home the Big BAMF award, which I desperately hope gets added to his official bio. Shon Carson took home the little BAMF award, which is impressive thing to do while maintaining a rigorous selfie regimen.

[cut to Shon Carson, surrounded by hollering teammates, angling phone and duckfacing]

Team: C'MON BABY, YOU GOT THIS, YOU GOT THIS! ONE MORE!

Shon: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! [takes selfie] [stomps around and pounds chest]

By the way, let's address the $64,000 question. What on EARTH does BAMF stand for???

The GABA editorial staff isn't satisfied with speculation, so we locked a fleet of interns in the Garnet and Black Attack war room with a box of graham crackers, a case of Red Bull and about sixty armed guards, and told 'em to decode this cryptogram. We reviewed their results, conducted a thorough round of fact checking, and can report that it's likely one of these:

• Be A Mean Footballplayer

• Bro, Add Me (on) Facebook?

• Barnacles Adorn My Frigate

• Bathrooms Are Mere Formalities

• Brutality Arrestee: Martin, Frank

• Baskets, Artfully Made. Free (*taken from Peoria, IL Craigslist post)

• Boatshoes Are Mucho Fratty

• Bacon All Morning, Friends!

Ban All Murderous Bears [ed: intern has been fired]

• Buck Ate Mexican Fajitas

• Busted A Monkey Fart

It's probably one of those. Oh, and lest you think Dylan Thompson is resting on his laurels:

Cann's a noted gym rat, but it's nice to see Dylan Thompson fully embracing his front-and-center status. Another player who made an impression in winter workouts was rising sophomore Pharoh Cooper, who S&C coach Joe Connolly compared to a player who was also known as a multipositional talent:

Hey, let's not make a big deal/stress about the fact that only offensive players won these awards and instead note that spring practice begins tomorrow (here are a few players to watch) and, woo, football stuff is happening!

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