Please Fire Darrin Horn.Com

It's a catchy title isn't it? Not only is it catchy, but it needs to be reality really soon. Today if possible.

I don't talk about our basketball team a whole lot this year due to the fact that there's really nothing good to say about it. The team is 9-14 overall and it's 1-8 in SEC play. That lone win in SEC play was a fluke win against Alabama and if they played them ten more times that would probably be the only win we would have in the series. I honestly don't think that it's the lack of talent we have on the team either. Ellington, Cooke, Gill, Richardson, and Harris are all pretty good athletes. Grant it, we are very young and have a lot to learn but if this team is going to learn anything and become contenders in the next couple of years I don't believe that Horn is the man that's gonna make it happen.

Coming into the Horn era I thought as well as a lot of others that this could potentially be a good hire. Horn won a lot of games at Western Kentucky and was a fairly big name in the mid-major schools. He pretty much put W. Kentucky on the map. When he came to Columbia he preached how he would bring tradition and pride to the basketball program here and it almost seemed as if he was going to his first couple of years. We were winning and competing against better schools. Heck, we even beat number 1 Kentucky at one point. The same year we ended up sharing the Eastern division title with Tennessee. Pretty impressive if you ask me. The problem with all this is the fact that in no way, shape, or form was all this success due to the brilliant mind of Darrin Horn. It was simply because Devan Downey was the backbone to the success and without him that year's success would have been taken away and we would have been just as bad as we are now. Since the departure of Downey and a couple other solid players that surrounded him Horn has managed to turn our program into an embarrassment. Not only are we losing to the Kentucky's and the Vanderbilt's, we are losing to teams that are almost as bad as we are and we aren't just losing by a couple points either. We are getting manhandled by these teams. Last nights loss to Tennessee was just pitiful. Tennessee is the same team who got beat by three different mid-major teams this year who aren't even good in their leagues.

I keep reading across all these message boards about the fact that fans aren't showing up for the games and we aren't supporting the basketball program. Why would anyone in their right mind spend their hard earned money to go see these guys play? It's a complete disgrace and until we get smart enough to fire this guy and bring in someone with passion for the program and who can teach our players the ropes the fan attendance isn't going to get any better.

I realize that at this point the job isn't going to be the most appealing one out there for future coaches but we have to make an effort here. Our athletic program is hitting an all time high right now and the only thing bringing it down is the basketball team. There are plenty of guys out there who with a little knowledge could turn it around and make these guys good because the talent is there and it's very young. The time is up on the Darrin Horn project. Let's make a move here and get the basketball program on the same track as the rest of our athletic programs. If we do this then the sky is the limit at South Carolina. We are almost an elite school in all sports, now let's just add the basketball team to it. Go Cock's.

While the build-up is somewhat anti-climactic compared to past years (and I for one appreciate that), 2012 NSD is not without some drama. Where will Chris Moody's LOI go? Will we any commits bail at the 11th hour? Is Joe Schad awake yet? At any rate, I thought we could keep an unofficial log of all those recruits who've faxed their letters to Columbia. As of 9:40 AM, our verified recruits are:

Chaz Elder

Rico McWilliams

Jody Fuller

Tj Gurley

Kendric Salley

Jerrell Adams

A few others have purportedly faxed their LOIs in, Including Carlos Hood, Kyle Fleetwood, Brendan Nostovich, and Mike Davis. So hopefully the day goes on without any major surprises. Shaq Roland signs at 10:30.

Scott Hood called National Signing Day the largest reality show for sports fans. I completely agree. Such hype, such build-up, and yet so silly to be lavishing this amount of attention on the 'contestants'. But man, is it fun to watch.

Add to comment thread as LOIs roll in!

http://lardassio.blog.com/2012/01/02/lardassios-losers-2011-12-bowl-extravaganza/ ...............WOOOOOOOOOOOOO............................- ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS -

LARDASSIO, THE GREAT ONE ( me ), has been blessed with immeasurable talent, a worldwide media empire, the adoration of millions and an over abundance of modesty. Before we delve into this years edition of Bowl LOSERS, I want to express thanks to those who have always been there for THE GREAT ONE. The following have always offered support and good counsel when called upon. I think of them as LARDASSIO’S WINNERS ………….

1) DERIK LATTIG – After meeting Derik in Jerry Jones private suite at Cowboy’s Stadium, I knew this guy had what it takes to make it in THE LARDASSIO business, or show business as it is known to some. I hired him on the spot to head the New Projects division at LARDASSIO WORLDWIDE MEDIA INC. Derik has never dissapointed and has developed a new reality series called AMERICAN PINUPS. His latest can’t miss HIT SHOW is based on the lives and work of several beautiful retro style pinup models. THE GREAT ONE expects great things from Derik……Have a look at this trailer for more details…..American Pinups! www.americanpinups.tv

2) MAD MATT SPORTA – My Man MATT…. When THE GREAT ONE needs an inside look at College/Pro Football games, I send the G-5 for MAD MATT SPORTA. Together we have bankrupted Las Vegas three times, but who is counting ??? Remember THE HAMMERDOWN IN COLATOWN last year, or USC/CLEMSON the last three years ??? MADD MATT is my MUSE……..WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Go see MATT at……..MADMATTSPORTA www.youtube.com

3) THE MAIN BOARD ( TMB ) – That’s right the guys at TMB have welcomed THE GREAT ONE with open arms and anytime I want to talk sports, I can instantly connect with over 800K of my very best friends. They even organized a HUGE toy drive for those in need over the Holidays. Thanks for the warm welcome guys……….http://www.the-mainboard.com/

4) RIVALS – I want to thank all of my employees at RIVALS and YAHOO SPORTS. You guys tried hard this year, but we still have a long way to go before we can earn the respectability enjoyed by SI/ESPN and the HILLBILLY GAZETTE. Special mention to Pat Forde, Mike Huegenin and David Fox……You guys gave a decent effort this year, but as stated in your contract, you will be required to write your own material in 2012 and stop filching from THE GREAT ONE. Now beat it and get to work……What am I paying you for anyway ???

- LARDASSIO’S LOSERS 2011-2012 BOWL EXTRAVAGANZA -

Hello and welcome to the 2011-2012 LARDASSIOS LOSER’S BOWL EXTRAVAGANZA…….Can I get a WOOOOOOOOOOO ???………AMEN. 2011 provided an exciting season of CFB and once again proved the superior intellect of THE GREAT ONE. I have preached for years that no conference can compete with THE SEC, that TX./OKIE and the rest of THE IRRELEVANT 12 are KAPUT, that TOSU/WISKY/MICHIGAN and the SPARKLES of THE LITTLE 10 are PRETENDERS, that SCAL/OREGAMI and the rest of THE PUNCHLESS 12 are little more than West coast SISSIES, That THE BE and THE ACC would compete for worst conference dishonors, that ND is a SHAM CFB program, that FSPEWWW/MIAMUH/and UF are FINITO. Ted Williams has nothing on THE GREAT ONE, I’m batting an even thousand…………………… Now it’s time for LARDASSIO’S BEEF………Losing teams (UCLA) in Bowls ??? UF, TOSU and other barely above .500 teams receiving bids ??? The sheer number of meaningless Bowls ??? It’s almost enough to cause THE GREAT ONE to give up on CFB altogether. Instead, I have decided to call a meeting with the commissioners of all major conferences ( except the ACC ) and the AD’s of each member school. I will propose a playoff format and offer to televise the entire event via LARDASSIO INTERNATIONAL MEDIA INC.’s new television network. THE GREAT ONE will solve this madness once and for all. And what of The ACC ??? The MAC will exchange places with these CLOWNS. The ACC proved once and for all that they do not belong in D1 Football. Speaking of the ACC…..On to the LOSERS……….

1) THE ORANGE BOWL -

WVU ABSOLUTLY FREAKING DESTROYS CLEMSON 70-33 ……….THE GREAT ONE, LARDASSIO, ( me ) is proud to present the number one LOSER for the 20011-12 CFB Bowl season. This extreme dishonor goes to the CLEMSON TIGRESSES who managed not only embarrass themselves, but also served to cement the ACC’s position as the worst major CFB conference. Like the SUGAR Bowl, I want to know how in HELL could either of these LOSERS got into a BCS game ??? As with The SUGAR Bowl, I watched the first 10 minutes of the game, then changed over to River Monsters. I checked the score 45 minutes later and WVU ran it in on the last play of the first half to go up 49-20……THE GREAT ONE can assure you that I did not miss a single play of the second half, which proved to be as bad as the first for the TOOTHLESS TIGRESSES …….I said all year CLEMSON was over rated ( In fact, dear reader, if you will kindly refer to LARDASSIO’S LOSERS WEEK Xll, you will note that THE GREAT ONE predicted CLEMSON would lose their last three games … Well they lost 2/3 ) ……LARDASSIO, RIGHT AGAIN…….WOOOOOOOOOOO…………….CLEMSON now stands ALONE as the LOSER in the worst beating ever administered to a Conference Champion and participant in a BCS Bowl game. And God forbid we forget the recipient of the Bobby Dodd National Coach of the year award, one DABO BIEBER. Coach BIEBER is well known for his past cheer leading and locker room dancing experience. Coach BIEBER will be utilizing these talents to earn a living within 24 months as the CLEMSON fan base ( well known for running off Coach Ken Hatfield after a 9 win/bowl victory season ) has had just about enough of this joker…………DABO BIEBER is also known for his recruiting and At this rate, if CLEMSON can recruit another 1/2 dozen, 5 STAR players, to go along with the ones signed last year, they may only lose by three TD’s in next years bowl………. Now THAT will be a real COACH OF THE YEAR performance.

2) THE OUTBACK BOWL -

MSU over UGA 33-30…………..Congratulations are in order for the 2011 SEC EAST CHAMP UGA BULLPUPS. You were the only SEC team to lose to a LITTLE 10 team in the SEC/LITTLE 10, 3 game showdown Jan. 2. Everyone on the planet, or the SEC which qualifies as the football planet, knew that you backed into the SEC EAST title and even though the delusional bare gummed fan base argued to the contrary, I, LARDASSIO, THE GREAT ONE, knew that UGA was a mere pretender. Let’s see……. you are up 16-0 against the 1/2 ass SPARKLES of MSU and let them come all the way back to steal a win from an SEC foe. The BULLPUPS have embarrassed themselves and the SEC for the last time. I just got off the phone with Mike " The Mensch " Slive " and gave him the go ahead to initiate trade talks with the ACC.I am prepared to accept FSU or MIAMUH for the BULLPUPS. The SEC will get the short end of the deal, but neither of these lowly ACC teams will ever win enough games in the SEC to qualify for a bowl. Hence, the opportunity to lose in embarrassing fashion, to teams like the MSU SPARKLES will be removed from the table forever. Please join me in welcoming UGA to the ACC. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

3) THE GATOR BOWL -

UF over TOSU 24-17……….This is the only semi major, or what used to be considered a semi major bowl that I seriously considered leaving off the LOSERS list, because neither team deserved a bid. However, after a nanosecond of consideration, I knew that could not be. In a rare DOUBLE LOSER GAME, both teams are deemed LOSERS . Let’s examine TOSU……2011 was quite a year for the Cheats of Columbus. First, they were involved in the worst LITTLE 10 cheating scandal of all time ( all correctly predicted by THE GREAT ONE mind you). TOSU then cut a deal with the NCAA and ran Coach TRESSES out of town in a seemingly sincere gesture of appeasement to the NCAA. Well it all turned out to be a SCAM of OHIOAN proportions when they turned around and hired UNCLE DISTURBIE MEYER aka Capt. Thorazine. This is the same BUM that ditched UF last year because of mental health issues and the desire to spend more time with his family. TOSU deserves whatever they get, in this case, it will be another Coach within three years……………………..

Onward and further downward to UF, the team made great by Coach Spurrier and Ron Zook ( who do you think recruited all of DISTURBIES players ??? ) then cheapened by DISTURBIE MEYER. No one, outside of GVILLE Florida, feels sorry for the GATORS because they have the most entitled/intolerable fans in CFB ( except for BAMA ). Thankfully ( again called by THE GREAT ONE ) , the run in GVILLE is over and we won’t have to worry about winning football teams again in Gainesville. Unless, of course, Coach Spurrier decides to return to his Alma Mater. This is not likely though as the UF admn., AD and BULL GATOR supporters Crapped all over the Man that brought them to the dance. That’s what you get when you don’t leave said dance with the one that brung you. However, UF’s unwanted lesson in humility is just what the Dr. ordered. DR. LARDASSIO that is……….WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

4) THE BCS TITLE GAME -

ALABAMA over LSU 21-0……………. Oh boy, this will hurt worse than a tooth extraction but in order to maintain the integrity of this column, I have to say …… CONGRATULATIONS BAMA on winning the 2011-2012 BCS Nat Champ. BAMA won it all this year and much like UGA, coasted to their Bowl game with one of the easiest schedules in the SEC. To their credit, they did get hot when it counted and with LSU suffering an uncharacteristic bad game, were able to add another NAT CHAMP to the trophy case. I am especially disapointed in LSU since I had picked them to win it all this and last season. The BAYOU KITTY CATS were thoroughly dominated in every phase of the game and fittingly deserve the LARDASSIO’S LOSERS label for being on the wrong side of this EPIC loss. So what if BAMA won the game ??? They are still the most despised program in CFB ( sincerest apologies to ND, MIAMUH and SCAL ) and if they are not, they ought to be. Why ??? Start with the fan base, the most obnoxious in CFB and it will only get worse now. Next up is LITTLE NICKY Saban……Nobody likes a liar and NICKY will never hear the end of it from THE GREAT ONE. That’s ok though…..almost ALL of the BAMA NAT CHAMP teams were put together with numerous infractions of NCAA violations. Hopefully SABAN is no different than BEAR BRYANT was in this regard and BAMA will again pay the price for CHEATERY. Hey, at least SABAN is straight ( I think ), unlike the BEAR and this may be his only saving grace.

5) THE CAPITAL ONE BOWL -

USC over NEBBISH 30-13……….. Proving that THE GREAT ONE is human after all ( my preseason " wishfull thinking" pick was a 14-0 NAT CHAMP for the COCKS, my legit pick was for LSU to win all of the beans ) , the COCKS were still quite impressive in running the bumbling HUSKETTES off the field in Orlando. Bozo Pelini showed that 18 months of anger management not only took the edge off his temperament ( barely) , but it also negatively affected the on field performance of the HUSKETTES. The COCKS played HARD, the defense was STIFF and the offense PENETRATED the HUSKETTES repeatedly and often. We also learned that Steve Spurrier will be recognized as the greatest coach in CFB history after he wins the NAT CHAMP at USC. NEBBISH should look on the bright side though, even in defeat, as they did manage to move up a notch in the conference pecking order as the LITTLE 10 is rated 1/100th of a decimal point higher than the IRRELEVANT 12. Hey, NEBBISH will take a victory wherever it can find one. Back to Pelini, the guy is a total embarrassment to NEBBISH and ducked Spurrier for the post game handshake . Tom Osborne will have the BOZO out of Lincoln soon enough.

6) THE SUGAR BOWL -

MICHIGAN over VT 23-20………. THE GREAT ONE , LARDASSIO ( me ) is proud to proclaim that after watching the first 6 minutes of this FIASCO, I changed the channel and watched " 3:10 TO YUMA " . It’s a great Western movie and was the best way I could think of protesting one of the worst Bowl matches of all time. Sure, MEATCHICKEN was 10-2, but the LITTLE 10 had an historically down year, They lost to the SPARKLES and to one of the worst IOWA teams in recent memory. VT sported an identical record, but barely beat lowly DUKE and lost twice to the most OVER RATED CLEMSON team in recent memory. I guess what I want to say is that neither of these teams deserved a BCS bid and it is high time that the NCAA steps in and evicts the BCS and all of the local Bowl committees. Both are as crooked as they come and have ruined CFB. Almost forgot about the game, I only know what I read and saw in the first quarter, but it was a real stinker. MICHIGAN represented the third tier LITTLE 10 while VT was chosen to rep the 5th tier ACC. VT had their chances but forgot to bring a kicker to NAWLINS. WHATEVER, I don’t have anything else to say about this game.

7) THE HOLIDAY BOWL-

TX over CAL 21-10………. This game transpired much as I suspected it would. The once proud SHORTHORNS edging out the Cal Bears of the PUNCHLESS 12. No one ever expects much from CAL, so I have to go with TX as the loser in the battle of two 7-5 teams. I am oh so happy to report yet again that something is VERY wrong in Austin. How can you have 10 straight top 10 recruiting classes and only win 7 games two years in a row ??? Gotta be the coaching. Mack Brown has to be pushing 80 years old and all of the warning signs are evident….You know the jig is up when the AD issues statements regarding long term contract extensions. What a load….This is a shameless ploy/plea for recruits to stay in Tx. instead of going to LSU, TAM, OKIE STATE or BAYLOR. I give Mack one more year before he packs it in and I look forward to another decade of bad football in Austin. WOOOOOOOOOO.

THE CHAMPS SPORTS BOWL

FSU over NOTRE DAME 18-14……….The fearless squaws from Tallytown managed yet again to pull another totem pole sized horseshoe out of their ass in defeating the hapless IRISH in this " Turd in a punch " bowl. Neither team was bowl worthy this year and 15 years ago, both teams would have been watching the bowls from home with these records.Everyone knows my position on the Choirboy’s and they did nothing to prove me wrong in gift wrapping this victory for the SEMI-NULL-SETS. Kelly will finish out his 5 year contract before heading to a Division ll coordinator position near you. Lastly…..What do you call the last 25 years of bad football in South Bend ??? A GREAT START………WOOOOOOOOOO. Did the NULL-SETS think they would get off unscathed ??? NOT BLOODY LIKELY. FSPEWWW has owned recruiting for 5 plus years in Florida and still has nothing to show except back to back 4 loss seasons ( as predicted exactly by THE GREAT ONE ) and this is an improvement from the last BOOBY BOWDEN years. This was the year the squaws were supposed to win it all and in 5 months all of the preseason magazines will call FSPEWWW a top 10 team again. When will these JACKASSES learn ??? The ACC has proven to be Strychnine for FSPEWWW.

9) THE FIESTA BOWL -

OKIE STATE over STANFORD 41-38……….No way THE GREAT ONE will ever label STANFORD a LOSER. These guys are true student athletes and exhibit all good traits of overachievers. Give me these guys in a foxhole anytime……OKIE STATE, not so much. Of course the COWBOYS had a remarkable year, but I hearken back to the IOWA STATE loss and narrow wins over TX. , TAM and K-STATE. Sorry T. BOOGER PICKENS, you did not belong in the NAT CHAMP game . I don’t want to hear the plane crash excuse as I covered that earlier this season and you were outplayed by the SHORTHORNS and AGGIES. In the end, you are a victim of IRRELEVANT 12 affiliation, plain and simple. There is still a ray of hope for you and OKIE to join the SEC……….You wanna play for all the marbles ??? Then as the great TRED BARTA would say " Do it the hard way " the SEC way.

11) THE INDEPENDENCE BOWL-

MIZZOU over UNC 41-24……….Another typical ACC Bowl game performance turned in by the TARCHEATS. This was an intriguing game of two programs headed in opposite directions. MIZZOU, the latest member of the SEC, is now a MADE team and will add a solid overall athletic program to the already superior SEC. UNC, is a RAM of another color. Exhibit A….They are, along with DUKE and a few more mouthy little N.C. schools, one of the charter members of the rarely respected ACC. The UNC football program embarrassed the conference in major fashion by committing a vast number of NCAA infractions. That is not all however as the TARHEEL Basketball team, long rumored to operate outside of the law, is expected to be the target of an NCAA primary investigation that could begin before this basketball season is over. THE GREAT ONE, is saddened by the bad name that UNC has given to SOUTHERN Sports. Thankfully, it is the ACC ( remember MIAMUH ??? ) that will bear the brunt of the NCAA’s wrath in 2012. I must add that the SOUTH is fortunate to have the SEC teams to improve the reputation recently sullied by the ACC and it’s members egregious acts. Thank you SEC.

12) THE ROSE BOWL -

OREGAMI over WISKY 45-38………. Little Chippy Kelly finally got a BCS Bowl win. Never mind that is was gained at the expense of the two loss LITTLE 1o Champ/chump WISKY Badgers another PRETENDER team that received NAT CHAMP ink earlier in the season. The only thing we learned from this game is that The PUNCHLESS 12 and LITTLE 10 are not worth the advertising Dollars spent on this one.

13) THE COTTON BOWL -

ARKYSLAW over KANSAS STATE 29-13……….What did you expect ??? The IRRELEVANT 12 vs. The SEC in another showdown. K-STATE looked good in this game and THE GREAT ONE was pleased with the athleticism and eagerness displayed by another better than average K-STATE WILDCATS Football team. THE GREAT ONE has an even greater amount of respect for Coach BILL SNYDER and wishes this team nothing but success. In fact, it would be OK with me if K-STATE took OKIES place and came over to the SEC, along with OKIE STATE……….. The HAWGS of ARKYSLAW proved that they are a very good team and once again represented the SEC with pride. The HAWGS are the only other team in the SEC that I can tolerate so best of luck to these guys as you should finish very close to the top 5 this year…..WOOOOOOOOOOOO…….PIG.

14) THE TICKET CITY BOWL-

HUSELESS over SANDUSKY STATE 30-14 ………. OK, I admit it, I am not even sure what conference the HUSELESS COUGARS are in and I do not intend to take the time to look it up. THE GREAT ONE does know that at one point during the regular season, several sportswriters, primarily from the South West had the nerve to mention HUSELESS and BCS Bowl/ NAT CHAMP in the same sentence.THE GREAT ONE told you all that it was nonsense and as usual, LARDASSIO scored a bullseye. Speaking of a Bullseye SANDUSKY STATE came into this game with a huge Brown eyed Winker tatooed on their on their backs, literally. Seems that Jerry Sandusky still has access to the locker room and painted a faux anus on the game jerseys for a little Holiday target practice. Remember, I, LARDASSIO, THE GREAT ONE, or me, predicted what was to transpire at SANDUSKY STATE the day it was reported and did not have to wait three weeks for the story to develop. Eat your heart out ESPN, YAHOO/RIVALS, NBC etc. The proof is in my blog.

15) THE BELK BOWL-

N.C. STATE over "LOUISE" VILLE " 31-24………. 1st floor…..Women’s clothes, 2nd floor…..Sporting goods, 3rd floor…..1/2 ass 4th tier bowl games airing on a Tuesday evening. For those of you not from the deep South, let me explain what a BELK is. BELK’S is a 3rd rate, North Carolina based department store chain that makes WalMart look like Saks Fifth Avenue. This game featured teams from the worst major conferences in CFB, the ACC and the BE., locked in mortal combat to determine who plays the crappiest CFB in America. At the time this game was played, I was ready to award the crown to the BE. That is until CLEMSON was publicly drawn and quartered in The ORANGE Bowl. The Wolfpack is not too bad and is the only N.C based team, besides Wake Florist that is tolerated by THE GREAT ONE. " LOUISE " VILLE, on the other hand needs to give up football. Old Charlie Strong looks like an ass now for agreeing to coach here. Oh well, we can’t all be WINNERS, like LARDASSIO……WOOOOOOOOOO.

16) THE ALAMO BOWL-

BAYLOR over WASHINGTON 67-56……….. Robert Griffin lll proved to be good, IRRELEVANT 12 good. Look what happened to the Heisman trophy winner when they ran into the defensive juggernaut of the PUNCHLESS 12. I, LARDASSIO, THE GREAT ONE, want to personally thank the monkey that put this game together. Whomever you are, you singlehandedly proved what I have said all season long……Both the PUNCHLESS and Irrelevant 12 are 2nd rate conferences. THE BATTLING BAPTISTS of BAYLOR, mighty conquerors of OKIE and TX. narrowly won in a offensive slug fest against the 7-5 HUSKIES. Put it this way, both Wake Florist and Vandy would run either of these teams off the field.

17) THE PINSTRIPE BOWL -

RUTGERS over IOWA STATE 27-13………………The BABE , DIMAGGIO , MARTIN and MANTLE are turning over in their graves. Not that they have a bowl in the new Yankee stadium, they are incredulous that the BE has an automatic tie in. What the Hell, Rutgers and the BE has feelings too, might as well let them play against a 6-6 CYCLONE team. I give up…….Just shoot me already.

18) THE INSIGHT.COM BOWL -

OKIE over IOWA 31-14……………… Well look where the preseason NAT CHAMP ended up. In the CRAPPER, right where THE GREAT ONE said they belonged. I don’t have anything against OKIE, in fact, I lobbied extensively to invite them to the SEC. I felt that a decade in the big leagues would have possibly put them back in contention for a NAT CHAMP. Twas not to be though as the OKIES chose instead to make their bed and hump in it with the SHORTHORNS of TX. Speaking of TX., I fully expect Bob Stoops to join Mack Brown in the unemployment line very soon. The top two teams of the IRRELEVANT 12 have brought down the overall quality of the conference to an historic low and have been replaced in the pecking order by OKIE STATE and BAYLOR. Now THAT is sweet justice………………….

Wait a minute, Iowa did lose the game though. The Hog Farmers have marched steadily backwards over the last three years and ended up at 7-6 after losing to OKIE. Six losses, The .COM bowl and membership in the LITTLE 10…… That is punishment enough, I wouldn’t wish that on CLEMSON.

19) The CHICK- FIL-A BOWL -

AUBUM over VIRGINIA 43-24…………..The HIGH PLAINS CHEATERS had to overcome a major obstacle this year……..They are under intense NCAA scrutiny and had to play by the rules. I don’t care what any AUBUM fan says….The TIGERS cheated and that is that. The YAHOOS of UVA are not a Football school and really aren’t even a basketball school anymore either. The ACC just can’t catch a break this year and never will as long as I have any say in the matter.

20) THE SUN BOWL -

UTAH over GEORGIA TECH 30-27…………..The RAMBLING SMEGMA of GEORGIA TECH didn’t quite have enough firepower to overcome the UTERUSES, but they sure gave the old college try. This bowl supplies further evidence that CFB needs to seriously consider conference contraction. Losing the ACC would not be such a bad idea.

21) THE ARMED FORCES BOWL -

BYU over TULSA 24-21……………..So the Grand High Poobah of the Mormon Church decided BYU merits their own sports network ??? This idea is almost as bright as ordering Mitt Romney to run for President. OK, so they beat Tulsa on a last second TD, but outside of the mediocre State of Utah, who would waste time or pay money to watch this crappy product ??? BYU isn’t even the number one team in Utah for Pete’s sake. If I, LARDASSIO, THE GREAT ONE, were calling the shots in Provo, I would form a Football wagon train, ala Joseph Smith, and migrate Westward to the PUNCHLESS 12, or even East to the MAC. At least TX. is populated by 28 million sucker SHORTHORN fans that will follow their Fearless Flits through thick and thin. Utah has about 3 million and less than 1/3 are actually practicing Mormons. Mitt Romney has more chance of being a two time President than the Cougars have of EVER playing competitive football again.

22) THE LITTLE CAESERS PIZZA BOWL -

PURDUE over WESTERN MICHIGAN 37-32………. The LITTLE 10 rolled out one of their best teams to battle the Broncos of WEST MICH.Some would argue that the game was closer than it should have been. LARDASSIO, THE GREAT ONE, predicted as much all season long and THE LITTLE 10 proved once again that they are only 1/2 step ahead of the MAC.

23) THE MAACO BOWL -

BOISE STATE over ARIZONA STATE 56-24……… As much as I like the Potato Farmers, I have to call them the LOSER in this game. Not due to on field performance mind you. No, BOISE was boned by the BCS. The Fighting Potato-ans are also a victim of geography and population. No way in Hell the PUNCHLESS 12 is ever going to ask BOISE to join their little party. The Broncos have proved they can beat just about anybody in the nation as well as lose one game a year to any nobody. Joining the Big East is the only viable option available. With any luck and if Patterson can continue to reload, They should make it back to a BCS soon. Too bad that the SOS of the BIG EAST will prevent BOISE from winning a NAT CHAMP, even if they manage to run the table.

24) THE BBVA COMPASS BOWL -

SMU over PITT 28-6………. This was NOT your Fathers team at PITT. No freaking way. The great years of Dorsett, Green, Jackson, Marino etc. are a very distant memory. In fact, Pitt hasn’t put a decent product on the field since Reagan was in office. Better days are not in store as the pitiful PANTHERS, along with SYRACUSE, will join the illustrious ACC next season. With UCF joining the BE, it looks like the ACC gets the hind TIT yet again………Headed in the opposite direction are the MUSTANGS of SMU. LARDASSIO finds it difficult to pull against the the NAGS, even if Craig James played there. These guys have come along nicely since the death penalty years. Hopefully, they will continue to improve and steal as many recruits from TX. as they can.

25) THE MUSIC CITY BOWL -

MISSISSIPPI STATE over WAKE FLORIST 23-17………..What do you expect when you pit a bottom of the barrel 6-6 SEC team vs. one of the better ACC teams, also 6-6 ??? Answer…..An SEC win of course. MISSY STATE had 4-5 turnovers and showed why they were sitting in the back of the SEC bus this year, but it was MORE THAN ENOUGH to defeat the DEMON DEACONS. THE GREAT ONE is a WAKE FLORIST fan and will withhold derisive comments, as well as expectations for this small private Baptist school in N.C. Indeed, they have played very well the last 6-7 seasons, considering the academic requirements from within they must operate. Besides, on a given day, WAKE can play and beat almost anyone…..Just ask FSPEWWW….LOSERS to WAKE this season an 1or two more times over the last decade.

26) THE MEINEKE CAR CARE BOWL -

TAM over NORTHWESTERN 33-22………….The FIGHTING SCIENTISTS are the most likeable LITTLE 10 team and THE GREAT ONE has a hard time pulling against them. However, that does not excuse their affiliation with the LEGENDLESS and LEADERLESS pack of pretenders. NORTHWESTERN is an excellent academic school that rivals any academic program in the SEC. ….MICHIGAN, TOSU, WISKY and THE SPARKLES could all benefit from adopting the strict academic standards employed at NORTHWESTERN and in the SEC…… This is a great opportunity to welcome TAM to the SEC. THE GREAT ONE, joins the entire world of CFB in admiration of the heroic and principled stand taken against the evil greed of TX. and wishes you nothing but success( especially against BAMA, UGA, and UF…the most obnoxious members in the SEC ). Welcome home TAM, welcome home.

27) THE FIGHT HUNGER BOWL -

ILLINOIS over UCLA 20-14………. Say WHAT ??? UCLA ends the season with 8 losses and the ILLINI finish with 6 ??? I never want to see either of these teams mentioned in the same sentence as the word BOWL again…..EVER. DISGRACEFUL. The only FIGHT in this Bowl was between The Lifetime network and The Hallmark channel for broadcasting rights.

28) THE LIBERTY BOWL-

CINCY over VANDY 31-24………. The BE did surprised no one in the regular season, but did manage a respectable showing during in the Bowl’s. VANDY played well this year and I figured they would beat up on the BEARCATS. Hey , nobody is perfect all of the time, including the SEC, but it was the COMMODES, so no real loss of respect in this one.

That’s all for this season folks. I told you there were to many Bowl games and the rest do not rate mention. THE GREAT ONE does not want any complaints either as 2/3 of the games that did make the list were hardly worth including. Now it is time to shift my focus to other projects like my major expose on BEAR BRYANT ( Expected release Spring 2012) and the pending NCAA investigation of the UNC TARCHEAT Basketball team. Anyway, that’s a wrap for 2011-2012 and remember try not to be a LOSER this year. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

http://lardassio.blog.com/2012/01/02/lardassios-losers-2011-12-bowl-extravaganza/ ...............WOOOOOOOOOOOOO............................- ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS -

LARDASSIO, THE GREAT ONE ( me ), has been blessed with immeasurable talent, a worldwide media empire, the adoration of millions and an over abundance of modesty. Before we delve into this years edition of Bowl LOSERS, I want to express thanks to those who have always been there for THE GREAT ONE. The following have always offered support and good counsel when called upon. I think of them as LARDASSIO’S WINNERS ………….

1) DERIK LATTIG – After meeting Derik in Jerry Jones private suite at Cowboy’s Stadium, I knew this guy had what it takes to make it in THE LARDASSIO business, or show business as it is known to some. I hired him on the spot to head the New Projects division at LARDASSIO WORLDWIDE MEDIA INC. Derik has never dissapointed and has developed a new reality series called AMERICAN PINUPS. His latest can’t miss HIT SHOW is based on the lives and work of several beautiful retro style pinup models. THE GREAT ONE expects great things from Derik……Have a look at this trailer for more details…..American Pinups! www.americanpinups.tv

2) MAD MATT SPORTA – My Man MATT…. When THE GREAT ONE needs an inside look at College/Pro Football games, I send the G-5 for MAD MATT SPORTA. Together we have bankrupted Las Vegas three times, but who is counting ??? Remember THE HAMMERDOWN IN COLATOWN last year, or USC/CLEMSON the last three years ??? MADD MATT is my MUSE……..WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Go see MATT at……..MADMATTSPORTA www.youtube.com

3) THE MAIN BOARD ( TMB ) – That’s right the guys at TMB have welcomed THE GREAT ONE with open arms and anytime I want to talk sports, I can instantly connect with over 800K of my very best friends. They even organized a HUGE toy drive for those in need over the Holidays. Thanks for the warm welcome guys……….http://www.the-mainboard.com/

4) RIVALS – I want to thank all of my employees at RIVALS and YAHOO SPORTS. You guys tried hard this year, but we still have a long way to go before we can earn the respectability enjoyed by SI/ESPN and the HILLBILLY GAZETTE. Special mention to Pat Forde, Mike Huegenin and David Fox……You guys gave a decent effort this year, but as stated in your contract, you will be required to write your own material in 2012 and stop filching from THE GREAT ONE. Now beat it and get to work……What am I paying you for anyway ???

- LARDASSIO’S LOSERS 2011-2012 BOWL EXTRAVAGANZA -

Hello and welcome to the 2011-2012 LARDASSIOS LOSER’S BOWL EXTRAVAGANZA…….Can I get a WOOOOOOOOOOO ???………AMEN. 2011 provided an exciting season of CFB and once again proved the superior intellect of THE GREAT ONE. I have preached for years that no conference can compete with THE SEC, that TX./OKIE and the rest of THE IRRELEVANT 12 are KAPUT, that TOSU/WISKY/MICHIGAN and the SPARKLES of THE LITTLE 10 are PRETENDERS, that SCAL/OREGAMI and the rest of THE PUNCHLESS 12 are little more than West coast SISSIES, That THE BE and THE ACC would compete for worst conference dishonors, that ND is a SHAM CFB program, that FSPEWWW/MIAMUH/and UF are FINITO. Ted Williams has nothing on THE GREAT ONE, I’m batting an even thousand…………………… Now it’s time for LARDASSIO’S BEEF………Losing teams (UCLA) in Bowls ??? UF, TOSU and other barely above .500 teams receiving bids ??? The sheer number of meaningless Bowls ??? It’s almost enough to cause THE GREAT ONE to give up on CFB altogether. Instead, I have decided to call a meeting with the commissioners of all major conferences ( except the ACC ) and the AD’s of each member school. I will propose a playoff format and offer to televise the entire event via LARDASSIO INTERNATIONAL MEDIA INC.’s new television network. THE GREAT ONE will solve this madness once and for all. And what of The ACC ??? The MAC will exchange places with these CLOWNS. The ACC proved once and for all that they do not belong in D1 Football. Speaking of the ACC…..On to the LOSERS……….

1) THE ORANGE BOWL -

WVU ABSOLUTLY FREAKING DESTROYS CLEMSON 70-33 ……….THE GREAT ONE, LARDASSIO, ( me ) is proud to present the number one LOSER for the 20011-12 CFB Bowl season. This extreme dishonor goes to the CLEMSON TIGRESSES who managed not only embarrass themselves, but also served to cement the ACC’s position as the worst major CFB conference. Like the SUGAR Bowl, I want to know how in HELL could either of these LOSERS got into a BCS game ??? As with The SUGAR Bowl, I watched the first 10 minutes of the game, then changed over to River Monsters. I checked the score 45 minutes later and WVU ran it in on the last play of the first half to go up 49-20……THE GREAT ONE can assure you that I did not miss a single play of the second half, which proved to be as bad as the first for the TOOTHLESS TIGRESSES …….I said all year CLEMSON was over rated ( In fact, dear reader, if you will kindly refer to LARDASSIO’S LOSERS WEEK Xll, you will note that THE GREAT ONE predicted CLEMSON would lose their last three games … Well they lost 2/3 ) ……LARDASSIO, RIGHT AGAIN…….WOOOOOOOOOOO…………….CLEMSON now stands ALONE as the LOSER in the worst beating ever administered to a Conference Champion and participant in a BCS Bowl game. And God forbid we forget the recipient of the Bobby Dodd National Coach of the year award, one DABO BIEBER. Coach BIEBER is well known for his past cheer leading and locker room dancing experience. Coach BIEBER will be utilizing these talents to earn a living within 24 months as the CLEMSON fan base ( well known for running off Coach Ken Hatfield after a 9 win/bowl victory season ) has had just about enough of this joker…………DABO BIEBER is also known for his recruiting and At this rate, if CLEMSON can recruit another 1/2 dozen, 5 STAR players, to go along with the ones signed last year, they may only lose by three TD’s in next years bowl………. Now THAT will be a real COACH OF THE YEAR performance.

2) THE OUTBACK BOWL -

MSU over UGA 33-30…………..Congratulations are in order for the 2011 SEC EAST CHAMP UGA BULLPUPS. You were the only SEC team to lose to a LITTLE 10 team in the SEC/LITTLE 10, 3 game showdown Jan. 2. Everyone on the planet, or the SEC which qualifies as the football planet, knew that you backed into the SEC EAST title and even though the delusional bare gummed fan base argued to the contrary, I, LARDASSIO, THE GREAT ONE, knew that UGA was a mere pretender. Let’s see……. you are up 16-0 against the 1/2 ass SPARKLES of MSU and let them come all the way back to steal a win from an SEC foe. The BULLPUPS have embarrassed themselves and the SEC for the last time. I just got off the phone with Mike ” The Mensch ” Slive ” and gave him the go ahead to initiate trade talks with the ACC.I am prepared to accept FSU or MIAMUH for the BULLPUPS. The SEC will get the short end of the deal, but neither of these lowly ACC teams will ever win enough games in the SEC to qualify for a bowl. Hence, the opportunity to lose in embarrassing fashion, to teams like the MSU SPARKLES will be removed from the table forever. Please join me in welcoming UGA to the ACC. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

3) THE GATOR BOWL -

UF over TOSU 24-17……….This is the only semi major, or what used to be considered a semi major bowl that I seriously considered leaving off the LOSERS list, because neither team deserved a bid. However, after a nanosecond of consideration, I knew that could not be. In a rare DOUBLE LOSER GAME, both teams are deemed LOSERS . Let’s examine TOSU……2011 was quite a year for the Cheats of Columbus. First, they were involved in the worst LITTLE 10 cheating scandal of all time ( all correctly predicted by THE GREAT ONE mind you). TOSU then cut a deal with the NCAA and ran Coach TRESSES out of town in a seemingly sincere gesture of appeasement to the NCAA. Well it all turned out to be a SCAM of OHIOAN proportions when they turned around and hired UNCLE DISTURBIE MEYER aka Capt. Thorazine. This is the same BUM that ditched UF last year because of mental health issues and the desire to spend more time with his family. TOSU deserves whatever they get, in this case, it will be another Coach within three years……………………..

Onward and further downward to UF, the team made great by Coach Spurrier and Ron Zook ( who do you think recruited all of DISTURBIES players ??? ) then cheapened by DISTURBIE MEYER. No one, outside of GVILLE Florida, feels sorry for the GATORS because they have the most entitled/intolerable fans in CFB ( except for BAMA ). Thankfully ( again called by THE GREAT ONE ) , the run in GVILLE is over and we won’t have to worry about winning football teams again in Gainesville. Unless, of course, Coach Spurrier decides to return to his Alma Mater. This is not likely though as the UF admn., AD and BULL GATOR supporters Crapped all over the Man that brought them to the dance. That’s what you get when you don’t leave said dance with the one that brung you. However, UF’s unwanted lesson in humility is just what the Dr. ordered. DR. LARDASSIO that is……….WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

4) THE BCS TITLE GAME -

ALABAMA over LSU 21-0……………. Oh boy, this will hurt worse than a tooth extraction but in order to maintain the integrity of this column, I have to say …… CONGRATULATIONS BAMA on winning the 2011-2012 BCS Nat Champ. BAMA won it all this year and much like UGA, coasted to their Bowl game with one of the easiest schedules in the SEC. To their credit, they did get hot when it counted and with LSU suffering an uncharacteristic bad game, were able to add another NAT CHAMP to the trophy case. I am especially disapointed in LSU since I had picked them to win it all this and last season. The BAYOU KITTY CATS were thoroughly dominated in every phase of the game and fittingly deserve the LARDASSIO’S LOSERS label for being on the wrong side of this EPIC loss. So what if BAMA won the game ??? They are still the most despised program in CFB ( sincerest apologies to ND, MIAMUH and SCAL ) and if they are not, they ought to be. Why ??? Start with the fan base, the most obnoxious in CFB and it will only get worse now. Next up is LITTLE NICKY Saban……Nobody likes a liar and NICKY will never hear the end of it from THE GREAT ONE. That’s ok though…..almost ALL of the BAMA NAT CHAMP teams were put together with numerous infractions of NCAA violations. Hopefully SABAN is no different than BEAR BRYANT was in this regard and BAMA will again pay the price for CHEATERY. Hey, at least SABAN is straight ( I think ), unlike the BEAR and this may be his only saving grace.

5) THE CAPITAL ONE BOWL -

USC over NEBBISH 30-13……….. Proving that THE GREAT ONE is human after all ( my preseason ” wishfull thinking” pick was a 14-0 NAT CHAMP for the COCKS, my legit pick was for LSU to win all of the beans ) , the COCKS were still quite impressive in running the bumbling HUSKETTES off the field in Orlando. Bozo Pelini showed that 18 months of anger management not only took the edge off his temperament ( barely) , but it also negatively affected the on field performance of the HUSKETTES. The COCKS played HARD, the defense was STIFF and the offense PENETRATED the HUSKETTES repeatedly and often. We also learned that Steve Spurrier will be recognized as the greatest coach in CFB history after he wins the NAT CHAMP at USC. NEBBISH should look on the bright side though, even in defeat, as they did manage to move up a notch in the conference pecking order as the LITTLE 10 is rated 1/100th of a decimal point higher than the IRRELEVANT 12. Hey, NEBBISH will take a victory wherever it can find one. Back to Pelini, the guy is a total embarrassment to NEBBISH and ducked Spurrier for the post game handshake . Tom Osborne will have the BOZO out of Lincoln soon enough.

6) THE SUGAR BOWL -

MICHIGAN over VT 23-20………. THE GREAT ONE , LARDASSIO ( me ) is proud to proclaim that after watching the first 6 minutes of this FIASCO, I changed the channel and watched ” 3:10 TO YUMA ” . It’s a great Western movie and was the best way I could think of protesting one of the worst Bowl matches of all time. Sure, MEATCHICKEN was 10-2, but the LITTLE 10 had an historically down year, They lost to the SPARKLES and to one of the worst IOWA teams in recent memory. VT sported an identical record, but barely beat lowly DUKE and lost twice to the most OVER RATED CLEMSON team in recent memory. I guess what I want to say is that neither of these teams deserved a BCS bid and it is high time that the NCAA steps in and evicts the BCS and all of the local Bowl committees. Both are as crooked as they come and have ruined CFB. Almost forgot about the game, I only know what I read and saw in the first quarter, but it was a real stinker. MICHIGAN represented the third tier LITTLE 10 while VT was chosen to rep the 5th tier ACC. VT had their chances but forgot to bring a kicker to NAWLINS. WHATEVER, I don’t have anything else to say about this game.

7) THE HOLIDAY BOWL-

TX over CAL 21-10………. This game transpired much as I suspected it would. The once proud SHORTHORNS edging out the Cal Bears of the PUNCHLESS 12. No one ever expects much from CAL, so I have to go with TX as the loser in the battle of two 7-5 teams. I am oh so happy to report yet again that something is VERY wrong in Austin. How can you have 10 straight top 10 recruiting classes and only win 7 games two years in a row ??? Gotta be the coaching. Mack Brown has to be pushing 80 years old and all of the warning signs are evident….You know the jig is up when the AD issues statements regarding long term contract extensions. What a load….This is a shameless ploy/plea for recruits to stay in Tx. instead of going to LSU, TAM, OKIE STATE or BAYLOR. I give Mack one more year before he packs it in and I look forward to another decade of bad football in Austin. WOOOOOOOOOO.

THE CHAMPS SPORTS BOWL

FSU over NOTRE DAME 18-14……….The fearless squaws from Tallytown managed yet again to pull another totem pole sized horseshoe out of their ass in defeating the hapless IRISH in this ” Turd in a punch ” bowl. Neither team was bowl worthy this year and 15 years ago, both teams would have been watching the bowls from home with these records.Everyone knows my position on the Choirboy’s and they did nothing to prove me wrong in gift wrapping this victory for the SEMI-NULL-SETS. Kelly will finish out his 5 year contract before heading to a Division ll coordinator position near you. Lastly…..What do you call the last 25 years of bad football in South Bend ??? A GREAT START………WOOOOOOOOOO. Did the NULL-SETS think they would get off unscathed ??? NOT BLOODY LIKELY. FSPEWWW has owned recruiting for 5 plus years in Florida and still has nothing to show except back to back 4 loss seasons ( as predicted exactly by THE GREAT ONE ) and this is an improvement from the last BOOBY BOWDEN years. This was the year the squaws were supposed to win it all and in 5 months all of the preseason magazines will call FSPEWWW a top 10 team again. When will these JACKASSES learn ??? The ACC has proven to be Strychnine for FSPEWWW.

9) THE FIESTA BOWL -

OKIE STATE over STANFORD 41-38……….No way THE GREAT ONE will ever label STANFORD a LOSER. These guys are true student athletes and exhibit all good traits of overachievers. Give me these guys in a foxhole anytime……OKIE STATE, not so much. Of course the COWBOYS had a remarkable year, but I hearken back to the IOWA STATE loss and narrow wins over TX. , TAM and K-STATE. Sorry T. BOOGER PICKENS, you did not belong in the NAT CHAMP game . I don’t want to hear the plane crash excuse as I covered that earlier this season and you were outplayed by the SHORTHORNS and AGGIES. In the end, you are a victim of IRRELEVANT 12 affiliation, plain and simple. There is still a ray of hope for you and OKIE to join the SEC……….You wanna play for all the marbles ??? Then as the great TRED BARTA would say ” Do it the hard way ” the SEC way.

11) THE INDEPENDENCE BOWL-

MIZZOU over UNC 41-24……….Another typical ACC Bowl game performance turned in by the TARCHEATS. This was an intriguing game of two programs headed in opposite directions. MIZZOU, the latest member of the SEC, is now a MADE team and will add a solid overall athletic program to the already superior SEC. UNC, is a RAM of another color. Exhibit A….They are, along with DUKE and a few more mouthy little N.C. schools, one of the charter members of the rarely respected ACC. The UNC football program embarrassed the conference in major fashion by committing a vast number of NCAA infractions. That is not all however as the TARHEEL Basketball team, long rumored to operate outside of the law, is expected to be the target of an NCAA primary investigation that could begin before this basketball season is over. THE GREAT ONE, is saddened by the bad name that UNC has given to SOUTHERN Sports. Thankfully, it is the ACC ( remember MIAMUH ??? ) that will bear the brunt of the NCAA’s wrath in 2012. I must add that the SOUTH is fortunate to have the SEC teams to improve the reputation recently sullied by the ACC and it’s members egregious acts. Thank you SEC.

12) THE ROSE BOWL -

OREGAMI over WISKY 45-38………. Little Chippy Kelly finally got a BCS Bowl win. Never mind that is was gained at the expense of the two loss LITTLE 1o Champ/chump WISKY Badgers another PRETENDER team that received NAT CHAMP ink earlier in the season. The only thing we learned from this game is that The PUNCHLESS 12 and LITTLE 10 are not worth the advertising Dollars spent on this one.

13) THE COTTON BOWL -

ARKYSLAW over KANSAS STATE 29-13……….What did you expect ??? The IRRELEVANT 12 vs. The SEC in another showdown. K-STATE looked good in this game and THE GREAT ONE was pleased with the athleticism and eagerness displayed by another better than average K-STATE WILDCATS Football team. THE GREAT ONE has an even greater amount of respect for Coach BILL SNYDER and wishes this team nothing but success. In fact, it would be OK with me if K-STATE took OKIES place and came over to the SEC, along with OKIE STATE……….. The HAWGS of ARKYSLAW proved that they are a very good team and once again represented the SEC with pride. The HAWGS are the only other team in the SEC that I can tolerate so best of luck to these guys as you should finish very close to the top 5 this year…..WOOOOOOOOOOOO…….PIG.

14) THE TICKET CITY BOWL-

HUSELESS over SANDUSKY STATE 30-14 ………. OK, I admit it, I am not even sure what conference the HUSELESS COUGARS are in and I do not intend to take the time to look it up. THE GREAT ONE does know that at one point during the regular season, several sportswriters, primarily from the South West had the nerve to mention HUSELESS and BCS Bowl/ NAT CHAMP in the same sentence.THE GREAT ONE told you all that it was nonsense and as usual, LARDASSIO scored a bullseye. Speaking of a Bullseye SANDUSKY STATE came into this game with a huge Brown eyed Winker tatooed on their on their backs, literally. Seems that Jerry Sandusky still has access to the locker room and painted a faux anus on the game jerseys for a little Holiday target practice. Remember, I, LARDASSIO, THE GREAT ONE, or me, predicted what was to transpire at SANDUSKY STATE the day it was reported and did not have to wait three weeks for the story to develop. Eat your heart out ESPN, YAHOO/RIVALS, NBC etc. The proof is in my blog.

15) THE BELK BOWL-

N.C. STATE over “LOUISE” VILLE ” 31-24………. 1st floor…..Women’s clothes, 2nd floor…..Sporting goods, 3rd floor…..1/2 ass 4th tier bowl games airing on a Tuesday evening. For those of you not from the deep South, let me explain what a BELK is. BELK’S is a 3rd rate, North Carolina based department store chain that makes WalMart look like Saks Fifth Avenue. This game featured teams from the worst major conferences in CFB, the ACC and the BE., locked in mortal combat to determine who plays the crappiest CFB in America. At the time this game was played, I was ready to award the crown to the BE. That is until CLEMSON was publicly drawn and quartered in The ORANGE Bowl. The Wolfpack is not too bad and is the only N.C based team, besides Wake Florist that is tolerated by THE GREAT ONE. ” LOUISE ” VILLE, on the other hand needs to give up football. Old Charlie Strong looks like an ass now for agreeing to coach here. Oh well, we can’t all be WINNERS, like LARDASSIO……WOOOOOOOOOO.

16) THE ALAMO BOWL-

BAYLOR over WASHINGTON 67-56……….. Robert Griffin lll proved to be good, IRRELEVANT 12 good. Look what happened to the Heisman trophy winner when they ran into the defensive juggernaut of the PUNCHLESS 12. I, LARDASSIO, THE GREAT ONE, want to personally thank the monkey that put this game together. Whomever you are, you singlehandedly proved what I have said all season long……Both the PUNCHLESS and Irrelevant 12 are 2nd rate conferences. THE BATTLING BAPTISTS of BAYLOR, mighty conquerors of OKIE and TX. narrowly won in a offensive slug fest against the 7-5 HUSKIES. Put it this way, both Wake Florist and Vandy would run either of these teams off the field.

17) THE PINSTRIPE BOWL -

RUTGERS over IOWA STATE 27-13………………The BABE , DIMAGGIO , MARTIN and MANTLE are turning over in their graves. Not that they have a bowl in the new Yankee stadium, they are incredulous that the BE has an automatic tie in. What the Hell, Rutgers and the BE has feelings too, might as well let them play against a 6-6 CYCLONE team. I give up…….Just shoot me already.

18) THE INSIGHT.COM BOWL -

OKIE over IOWA 31-14……………… Well look where the preseason NAT CHAMP ended up. In the CRAPPER, right where THE GREAT ONE said they belonged. I don’t have anything against OKIE, in fact, I lobbied extensively to invite them to the SEC. I felt that a decade in the big leagues would have possibly put them back in contention for a NAT CHAMP. Twas not to be though as the OKIES chose instead to make their bed and hump in it with the SHORTHORNS of TX. Speaking of TX., I fully expect Bob Stoops to join Mack Brown in the unemployment line very soon. The top two teams of the IRRELEVANT 12 have brought down the overall quality of the conference to an historic low and have been replaced in the pecking order by OKIE STATE and BAYLOR. Now THAT is sweet justice………………….

Wait a minute, Iowa did lose the game though. The Hog Farmers have marched steadily backwards over the last three years and ended up at 7-6 after losing to OKIE. Six losses, The .COM bowl and membership in the LITTLE 10…… That is punishment enough, I wouldn’t wish that on CLEMSON.

19) The CHICK- FIL-A BOWL -

AUBUM over VIRGINIA 43-24…………..The HIGH PLAINS CHEATERS had to overcome a major obstacle this year……..They are under intense NCAA scrutiny and had to play by the rules. I don’t care what any AUBUM fan says….The TIGERS cheated and that is that. The YAHOOS of UVA are not a Football school and really aren’t even a basketball school anymore either. The ACC just can’t catch a break this year and never will as long as I have any say in the matter.

20) THE SUN BOWL -

UTAH over GEORGIA TECH 30-27…………..The RAMBLING SMEGMA of GEORGIA TECH didn’t quite have enough firepower to overcome the UTERUSES, but they sure gave the old college try. This bowl supplies further evidence that CFB needs to seriously consider conference contraction. Losing the ACC would not be such a bad idea.

21) THE ARMED FORCES BOWL -

BYU over TULSA 24-21……………..So the Grand High Poobah of the Mormon Church decided BYU merits their own sports network ??? This idea is almost as bright as ordering Mitt Romney to run for President. OK, so they beat Tulsa on a last second TD, but outside of the mediocre State of Utah, who would waste time or pay money to watch this crappy product ??? BYU isn’t even the number one team in Utah for Pete’s sake. If I, LARDASSIO, THE GREAT ONE, were calling the shots in Provo, I would form a Football wagon train, ala Joseph Smith, and migrate Westward to the PUNCHLESS 12, or even East to the MAC. At least TX. is populated by 28 million sucker SHORTHORN fans that will follow their Fearless Flits through thick and thin. Utah has about 3 million and less than 1/3 are actually practicing Mormons. Mitt Romney has more chance of being a two time President than the Cougars have of EVER playing competitive football again.

22) THE LITTLE CAESERS PIZZA BOWL -

PURDUE over WESTERN MICHIGAN 37-32………. The LITTLE 10 rolled out one of their best teams to battle the Broncos of WEST MICH.Some would argue that the game was closer than it should have been. LARDASSIO, THE GREAT ONE, predicted as much all season long and THE LITTLE 10 proved once again that they are only 1/2 step ahead of the MAC.

23) THE MAACO BOWL -

BOISE STATE over ARIZONA STATE 56-24……… As much as I like the Potato Farmers, I have to call them the LOSER in this game. Not due to on field performance mind you. No, BOISE was boned by the BCS. The Fighting Potato-ans are also a victim of geography and population. No way in Hell the PUNCHLESS 12 is ever going to ask BOISE to join their little party. The Broncos have proved they can beat just about anybody in the nation as well as lose one game a year to any nobody. Joining the Big East is the only viable option available. With any luck and if Patterson can continue to reload, They should make it back to a BCS soon. Too bad that the SOS of the BIG EAST will prevent BOISE from winning a NAT CHAMP, even if they manage to run the table.

24) THE BBVA COMPASS BOWL -

SMU over PITT 28-6………. This was NOT your Fathers team at PITT. No freaking way. The great years of Dorsett, Green, Jackson, Marino etc. are a very distant memory. In fact, Pitt hasn’t put a decent product on the field since Reagan was in office. Better days are not in store as the pitiful PANTHERS, along with SYRACUSE, will join the illustrious ACC next season. With UCF joining the BE, it looks like the ACC gets the hind TIT yet again………Headed in the opposite direction are the MUSTANGS of SMU. LARDASSIO finds it difficult to pull against the the NAGS, even if Craig James played there. These guys have come along nicely since the death penalty years. Hopefully, they will continue to improve and steal as many recruits from TX. as they can.

25) THE MUSIC CITY BOWL -

MISSISSIPPI STATE over WAKE FLORIST 23-17………..What do you expect when you pit a bottom of the barrel 6-6 SEC team vs. one of the better ACC teams, also 6-6 ??? Answer…..An SEC win of course. MISSY STATE had 4-5 turnovers and showed why they were sitting in the back of the SEC bus this year, but it was MORE THAN ENOUGH to defeat the DEMON DEACONS. THE GREAT ONE is a WAKE FLORIST fan and will withhold derisive comments, as well as expectations for this small private Baptist school in N.C. Indeed, they have played very well the last 6-7 seasons, considering the academic requirements from within they must operate. Besides, on a given day, WAKE can play and beat almost anyone…..Just ask FSPEWWW….LOSERS to WAKE this season an 1or two more times over the last decade.

26) THE MEINEKE CAR CARE BOWL -

TAM over NORTHWESTERN 33-22………….The FIGHTING SCIENTISTS are the most likeable LITTLE 10 team and THE GREAT ONE has a hard time pulling against them. However, that does not excuse their affiliation with the LEGENDLESS and LEADERLESS pack of pretenders. NORTHWESTERN is an excellent academic school that rivals any academic program in the SEC. ….MICHIGAN, TOSU, WISKY and THE SPARKLES could all benefit from adopting the strict academic standards employed at NORTHWESTERN and in the SEC…… This is a great opportunity to welcome TAM to the SEC. THE GREAT ONE, joins the entire world of CFB in admiration of the heroic and principled stand taken against the evil greed of TX. and wishes you nothing but success( especially against BAMA, UGA, and UF…the most obnoxious members in the SEC ). Welcome home TAM, welcome home.

27) THE FIGHT HUNGER BOWL -

ILLINOIS over UCLA 20-14………. Say WHAT ??? UCLA ends the season with 8 losses and the ILLINI finish with 6 ??? I never want to see either of these teams mentioned in the same sentence as the word BOWL again…..EVER. DISGRACEFUL. The only FIGHT in this Bowl was between The Lifetime network and The Hallmark channel for broadcasting rights.

28) THE LIBERTY BOWL-

CINCY over VANDY 31-24………. The BE did surprised no one in the regular season, but did manage a respectable showing during in the Bowl’s. VANDY played well this year and I figured they would beat up on the BEARCATS. Hey , nobody is perfect all of the time, including the SEC, but it was the COMMODES, so no real loss of respect in this one.

That’s all for this season folks. I told you there were to many Bowl games and the rest do not rate mention. THE GREAT ONE does not want any complaints either as 2/3 of the games that did make the list were hardly worth including. Now it is time to shift my focus to other projects like my major expose on BEAR BRYANT ( Expected release Spring 2012) and the pending NCAA investigation of the UNC TARCHEAT Basketball team. Anyway, that’s a wrap for 2011-2012 and remember try not to be a LOSER this year. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

The good ol' ESPN SEC Blog published a post this morning that catalogued the SEC entries in Mel Kiper's top five in each position. Antonio Allen, Melvin Ingram, Stephon Gilmore, and Alshon Jeffery all charted (2, 2, 5 and 5 respectively.) Here's Kiper's snippet on Alshon:

With the season that Jeffery had in 2010, many thought he might battle Oklahoma State's Justin Blackmon for the top spot at wide receiver. However, Jeffery received much more attention from defenders and struggled in 2011. Still, his size makes him extremely imposing and tough one-on-one.

Just a reminder that being a "draft expert" for anyone without the divine power of omnipresence is implausible. Kiper theorizes, ostensibly, that Alshon's inability to shake double coverages is enough to consider him the fifth best receiver in the draft. The term "struggled" is interesting, though. So general, so nonspecific! Having watched each game as I'm sure you all did, was your Alshon takeaway, "Wow, he sure did struggle this year!" Or was it be, say, "Wow, we sure do run the ball a lot!" Mel, no one can argue that Alshon's numbers were objectively lower than last year. But did you use anything besides those compiled receiving statistics to reach your conclusion? And if so, did ya happen to glance over the QB charts? Is it possible that other factors were at play here? Empirical evidence abounds, Mel!

Alshon Jeffery, pictured above, struggling amidst quadruple coverage.

via www.baltimoresun.com

My bigger gripe is Kiper's tacitly voiced concern with Alshon's inability to keep statistical pace with Justin Blackmon this year. While it's clear Blackmon is a gamer -- look for him to go top 10 after netting consecutive Biletnikoff statues -- how can any seasoned draft expert not recognize Blackmon's numbers are in part the function of a system? Hell, how can anyone with at least a passive knowledge of the greater CFB landscape not recognize it? Blackmon had a tremendous pro-style quarterback in an Air Raid offense lobbing 50 bombs a game. On the other side of that coin, Alshon was dealing with an unraveling Captain Brahsome, and then a transitional offense that settled into a run-first scheme. Alshon was getting 2 and 3 balls thrown his way in a game, and he learned to live with it even if it was costing him draft dollars.

By the by, I take nothing away from Blackmon's abilities, his draft status is well-earned. But pooh-poohing Alshon's statistical output vis-a-vis Blackmon's is akin to a pitting them in a race where one is sprinting unimpeded and the other is leaping hurdles (and maybe the odd Garcia empty.) It's a different set of a circumstances.

I'm not trying to stick up for Alshon here. I think he'll be fine wherever he lands. There isn't a team in the NFL that undervalues a 6'4" freak with banana-mitts and springs in his heels. It's really a criticism on Kiper's shortsighted analysis. Let's hope Mel and the gang are aghast come April, when Alshon's the second receiver to go.

I know that the issue of logo design concerning Gamecock football helmets came up some years ago. Wasn't it that they wanted to do the interlocking USC but they were blocked by the Trojans? UGA has the best, imo.

I wish they would revisit this helmet design issue soon. I don't think it is aesthetically pleasing. I like the Gamecock logo and the block C but not together. A lot of football fans I'm close with have told me the same thing. What do you all think, and could we be making a change sometime soon?

We're undersized, and that obviously hurt us at times, but we had multiple possessions where we shot three or more times. The ladies crash the boards hard, and they play a very tough man defense - every player gets a wide base and displays good lateral movement, and they constantly have a hand in the face of any offensive player with possession away from the basket.

LSU played much better in the second half, and they did a good job of forcing their tempo. We held them to 20 points in the first half, and they scored 19 in the first nine minutes or so of the second half.

We went through an extensive slump for most of the second half. Our shooters went ice cold from the perimeter, and LSU finally began to use their height advantage to alter our shots on the interior.

However, LSU also made it to the bonus in about 6 to 8 minutes of play, while we struggled to get a single 50-50 (or even 60-40) call our way. I don't know if the LSU booster club took over officiating at halftime or what, but our season high in turnovers was partially the result of an extremely one-sided second 20 minutes from the crew. Not only did the style of play obviously tilt to LSU as a result, but our best players soon found themselves in foul trouble and on the bench.

The officials twice fell for Laimbeer-esque flops from LSU Lady Tigers. The second flop negated a Carolina basket and led to the 5th foul on our leading scorer. It also finally set Coach Staley off. She picked up the quickest double T I've seen in some time, and LSU shot six FT's to ice the game. The hostile game environment did not intimidate our girls, but it obviously overwhelmed the officials.

I was the only South Carolina fan in my group, but everyone in our party was impressed with the Lady Gamecocks. Several of the young players with us ended up studying the technique of the Carolina players while cheering for the LSU team.

This team is very impressive in person. Defense doesn't slump, and the squad has a great chance of winning multiple games in the NCAA tournament. More importantly, it is a group built around disciplined team play rather than a single player or recruiting class. The program is obviously on the verge of becoming a consistent national force, and should be for as long as we can keep Coach Staley in Columbia.

What a great year to be a Gamecock! With that said, I shall give my thoughts on next season and what it means for the program.

Let's begin with the schedule. We all have griped about it in comparison to our rival Georgia's draw, but let's look at it with some perspective. The big problem is how Georgia avoided the three best teams from the west again, which is odd to say the least, but to be honest, we can't predict how good each team will be from year to year. It's possible that Ole Miss, Miss St., and Auburn are very good next year and LSU, Alabama, and Arkansas take a dip. It's somewhat unlikely, but not out of the question. The bottom line is that we can't fault a team for it's in conference schedule so let's get over it (although the fact that UGA got to drop Bama while we picked up LSU is a perfectly valid talking point).

The great part about our schedule is that while difficult, it also comes at a great juncture in the progression of our program. Many have said that the the success of the team has come because the traditional powerhouses of the east have been down and a somewhat favorable schedule. That's not entirely false. We have had some scheduling luck. But more importantly, he have seen a great difference in the attitude and talent level of our team. With our challenging schedule, we now have a chance to prove all the haters wrong.

The most intriguing part of our team to consider going into next year is the offense and how Spurrier uses his players. He has been reluctant during the season to fully commit to a spread style offense, but as much as the loss of Alshon hurts, it is also a blessing in disguise. This will be the first season the HBC has without a big, physical go-to receiver (Rice, Cook, Jeffery). This means he'll be forced to use his smaller, faster, experienced receivers like Sanders and Byrd in the passing game, and getting them in space. Injuries this year also forced us to get younger guys involved and will improve our depth. Wilds and a healthy Lattimore will provide a dangerous rushing attack in addition to an improved Shaw (as talented as Garcia was, I'd take Shaw's consistency and decision making over Garcia's huge peaks and valleys any day).

The defense loses some big names, but should be able to fill the holes well. Quarles and Hampton played very well most of the year and should fill in for Ingram and Gilmore seamlessly. In addition, I expect the experienced Holloman to vacate Allen's spot and up and coming Brison Williams to replace Holloman. We get Akeem Auguste back as well at the other corner spot.

All in all, we have an offense that could be great if coached properly, and a defense that shouldn't fall off very far. Couple that with some improved special teams play and we can be very good again. The point is that we should not worry about our rivals. Take care of a difficult schedule, win 2 of our 3 toughest games, and prove to everyone else that our success isn't a product of everybody else's failures. The future is very bright here and going 10-2 again shouldn't be a disappointment, but a confirmation that our Gamecock football team has finally arrived as a consistent contender in the conference race. All the rest is gravy.

Former Clemson and South Carolina assistant Chuck Reedy gives a behind the scenes take on conversations with SOS before the Capital One Bowl and a scoop from Clemson coaches on why they can't beat South Carolina. Reedy was part of the 1981 National Title staff at Clemson, played at Clemson and coached at South Carolina one season. Make sure you check out part one and part two. Great stuff here from Coach Chuck Reedy.

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Big time players making the difference for 2011 Gamecocks

My Quick Slant on the Gamecock Win in Orlando

Some quick thoughts shortly after the Gamecock's victory over the Nebraska Cornhuskers capping off a historic 2011 season for South Carolina.

The First half: I thought the defense looked slow in the first half. Maybe it took them a while to get up to game speed but one things for sure they were in another gear in the second.

The DJ Swearinger hit that caused the fumble deep in Gamecock territory in the first half was the play of the game before “the play of the game”. They could have gone down by 11 if not for that play. The Gamecocks couldn't capitalize on the long pass to Alshon after that, but they did flip the field position and that was huge.

I thought the offensive line gave Shaw plenty of time to throw and he should have taken off sooner and ran early on instead of taking sacks. He seemed determined to stay in the pocket as I’m sure he was coached up to do.

Seemed no one was getting open but the referees were letting the Nebraska dbs get away with aggravated assault on the South Carolina wide outs, especially on the replays they kept showing of Alshon getting grabbed on every play.

If not for the Gilmore interception right before the half and poor clock management we would have never seen one of the best plays in Gamecock Football history (at least it felt like it at the time). I don’t want to call it a “Hail Mary” because we have seen many jumps balls to Jeffery in the past but none that I can remember where five other players were in the fray. Connor Shaw did a good job keeping his footing and after Alshon caught it he made sure not to go down before crossing the goal line. Someone watching the game with me reminded me of the Auburn“Hail Mary” in SEC Championship game last year and how it broke the team’s spirit before half.

The Second Half: The Blocked pat return by Gilmore in the first quarter was big and factored in nicely I thought later in the fourth quarter. When they scored early in the fourth the Gamecocks had a 10 point cushion. The entire game I kept thinking about that play. Once they went up by 10 (instead of just 7) I just had this sense that the game was over.

The offense and Shaw looked much more in control in the second half.

Shaw was more decisive throwing and he never looked rattled.

Lorenzo Ward called a great game. I didn't see anything that Ellis Johnson could have done better. Not sure if adjustments were made or not but holding Nebraska 64 yards in the second half is very impressive. His unit took the game over in the second half.

I never saw Alshon do anything to warrant getting kicked out of the game. He pushed Dennard but I still don’t think he threw a punch. The referee must have thought he couldn't throw one out with out the other being tossed too. Terrible call, he should have been flagged but not ejected.

The offensive tackle for Nebraska (#50) kept getting penalties for false starts. I have never seen something like that in all my life watching football.

More: When did South Carolina become the team that wears teams down in the fourth quarter, Nebraska being one of them? South Carolina was by far the more physical team on both sides of the ball.

South Carolina right now isn't in awe of any team they step on the field with. I’m not saying they can beat any team in the country but they are not intimidated by any that’s for sure. That comes from having a Hall of Fame Championship coach and facing the best teams in the nation in the SEC.

I have never seen Steve Spurrier get choked up to the point of tears like he did post game. Never a very emotional guy, it’s safe to say he has a lot invested emotionally in this program.

Just My Quick Slant on the game. Check the site daily this week because we plan on having much more content on the Gamecocks, the Orange Bowl and more.

-Mike Mizell