Previewing The Next Chapter In The South Carolina-Clemson Rivalry The Gamecock baseball team will be back in action this weekend as they take on the Clemson Tigers. As we all know, the Gamecocks pretty much own Clemson in all major sports right now so hopefully we will continue the dominance this weekend.

The Cocks have picked up right were they left off last season by winning both early season weekend series and picked up a midweek win yesterday against the Blue Hose to give them a 7-0 early season record. The Tigers should bring a little more talent to the table this weekend so we need to make a statement. Here's a little preview of the upcoming series with our Palmetto State rivals.

Clemson:
Record- 4-2. The Tigers won both weekend series they have played. They took 2 of 3 games from both UAB and Maine. The Tigers are ranked Number 15 this week in the Baseball America poll.

Probable Starters For The Tigers-
Friday- Kevin Brady 0-0 0.90 era
Saturday-Dominic Leone 2-0 3.27 era
Sunday- David Haselden 0-0 3.86 era

Heavy Hitters-Pohl .476 2HR 9 RBI, Shaffer .364 2HR 8 RBI, Wilkerson .500 0HR 5 RBI

South Carolina:
Record- 7-0
Current Streak-17 straight wins dating back to last years National Championship run.
As I stated earlier the Cocks have won both of their weekend tilts so far by sweeping VMI to open the year and Elon last weekend. The Gamecocks are ranked number 3 in this weeks Baseball America poll.

Probable Starters For The Cocks-
Friday- Michael Roth 1-0 0.69 era
Saturday- Matt Price 1-0 1.80 era
Sunday- Colby Holmes 2-0 0.00 era

Heavy Hitters- Walker .381 1HR 8 RBI, Marzilli .357 1Triple 4 RBI, Dantzler .200 2HR 9 RBI

Schedule:
Game 1 Friday will be played at 6PM in Charleston South Carolina
Game 2 Saturday will be played at 2PM in Columbia South Carolina
Game 3 Sunday will be played at 2PM in Clemson South Carolina

Preview:
Both teams have been pretty good so far at home. Neither team has played a road game yet so we will see how both teams handle the road atmosphere. South Carolinas pitching staff has been phenominal this year and hopefully that will continue this weekend. If Roth, Price, Holmes, and the rest of the staff keep pitching at the level they have been in the early goings I expect Carolina to continue the dominance over in state rival Clemson.

Breaking Down Each Game In 2012: Missouri
Next up on the Gamecocks schedule is the new addition to the Sec Missouri Tigers. This should be a big time test for the Cocks. Missouri was a pretty good team last year and should have a very good team this year as well.

2011 Record-8-5: Four game winning streak to close out the year

Bowl Game- Missouri 41 North Carolina 24 in the Independence Bowl

Key Players In 2012- James Franklin/qb, Henry Josey/rb, Dorial Green-Beckham/wr

Key Matchups:
1. South Carolinas Defensive Front vs. Missouri's Running Game- This is first and foremost the scariest running attack we will have seen in the young season. Last season Franklin and Josey combined to rush 362 times for a total of 2,149 yards. If we are going to win this game it's gotta start up front. Now the numbers I just presented you with were against Big 12 competition and I assure you that Sec defenses are much superior to those that the Tigers have faced before and our front line needs to show that we are the real deal right from the start. Clowney, Taylor, and the rest of the studs on the line will have a chance to really show the rest of the nation that they are superstars in this one.

2. USC Secondary vs. Franklin and Green-Beckham- I stated that the previous opponent, UAB, would be the first test for our secondary and I can assure you that Missouri will be even more of a test. Franklin threw for almost 2,900 yards last season with 21 touchdowns to go along with 11 interceptions. Not to shabby. Missouri also picked up that one guy...what's his name??? Oh yea, Dorial Green-Beckham, the number one recruit in the nation coming out of high school. Green-Beckham is a tall and athletic receiver and we have got to make sure that we have two guys on him at all times. At this point in the season, he will have had time to adjust to the college speed so he could be very dangerous. If we keep him in check and keep the heat on Franklin then we have a good shot at coming out of this one with a win.

3. Shaw And The Passing Game vs. Missouri's Defense- Obviously our rushing attack is going to play a big part in this game. It will in all of our games this year but I think our passing game is crucial in this one. Missouri can score and they can score a lot. Shaw and our young receivers have to step up in this one. Missouri is going to focus on shutting down our rushing attack so this will be a game were Shaw can shine. If he and the receivers can step up then it will clearly open up more opportunities to run later in the game and seal the deal.

Conclussion-This game is huge as far as us winning another SEC title. It's crucial for us to go into the Georgia game undefeated. We get the Tigers in The Cockpit so that's a huge advantage for us. The defense is going to have to play very good and I believe they will. If not, then Missouri could come in and steal one from us. Don't count on it though. Expect Clowney and Company to make a statement in this one.

Prediction: South Carolina 31 Missouri 28

The article by tryptic67 about Gamecock basketball coaching regimes since the end of Frank McGuire's tenure is very interesting and worth doing. I understand you are trying to pick one or more points for each era to discuss; obviously there were many more turning points than one. I always recommend the book Roundball Culture (long out of print, but easily available used online) for anyone interested in the detailed account of the McGuire era.

Suffice it to say, we as a U did not cover ourselves in glory with how we handled McGuire's career, something I always remember when some Carolina fans get into "fire the coach mode" - which some do at every small downturn in the course of a game, let alone a season.

An interesting thing illustrated by this article is that not only is "hindsight" 20/20, but it gets sharper with time. For instance, the last two year entries in the articles have the least insight of all.

When tryptic67 signals that he is one of those fans of the former Winthrop, current Wichita State coach, that sort of makes me tune him out, as I do all members of that cult. I don't see that Marshall did that much at Winthrop (they still make NCAA without him) or WSU (having a good season this year, but nothing much before).

To say that if somebody other than the current coach had been hired, the result would be different, is the wildest speculation. Yes, someone else might have tried to plug Devan Downey et al into a rigid system, and we might have had less success than we did at first.

Clearly, the basketball team is dysfunctional now. There are certainly pieces, but they remind me of the 0-fer football team under Lou Holtz. The turnover of personnel under Horn has certainly concerned me. I don't think treating recruiting like draw poker -- dump four cards and get a new hand -- is the way to go in sports, or in cards, but at the very least when you dump cards, you need to draw replacements, and Horn has not. I am also a little concerned, not knowing the cause, about the assistant departures (I do want Mike Boynton to be a good coach).

I'm concerned that some players have gone backwards, like Lakeem Jackson, and I am concerned a player like Damien Leonard was a shooter in high school, but obviously has technical problems now.

The very obvious Junior hole we have on our roster, I think says "Juco," which is NOT everybody's favorite word in Gamecock land.

What seems certain to me is, whether the basketball programs tries to build with the current staff, or fires them and starts all over (there is no choice, it is either or) we are in for some lean years coming. If you are a Gamecock fan, brace yourself. If you can't handle that, enjoy our fine Baseball and Track and Tennis and Equestrian teams, this time of year.

Breaking Down Each Game In 2012: UAB
Next up on the schedule is the UAB Blazers. We have played the Blazers a couple times in the past and handled business pretty well so expect this years outcome to be pretty similar. UAB will be improved this year with a pretty veteran team and will bring lots of experience to Columbia.

2011 Record- 3-9

Bowl Game- None

Key Returning Starters- Jonathan Perry/QB, Jackie Williams/WR

The Matchups:
1. South Carolinas Secondary vs. The Blazers Passing Game- UAB has been a pass first team for a while now. I don't expect any drastic changes this year with Perry at quarterback for them and Jackie Williams at receiver. This should be the first test that our secondary will face. Williams caught 58 balls for them last year so look for Auguste to have his hands full with this matchup. If we can shut down the passing game early and get them in 3rd and longs then I think the Blazers will fold under pressure.

2. South Carolinas Running Game vs. UAB Defensive Front- I realize that our running game could be put into a key matchup for every single game but it has to be put in for this game. Last years Blazer team gave up a whopping 36.8 points per game and allowed 5.2 yards per carry on the ground. Let me remind you that they aren't playing the best competition either so look for Latti and company to really shine in this one.

3. Protection Of Key Players vs. UAB Entire Defense- This is a game that the Cocks should handle pretty easily. This is also a game where losing a superstar stud player in a blowout game due to injury is a no no. We have to keep our stars playing hard but injury free as well. This isn't the type of game where running Lattimore 30 times is a need. Nor do we need to have Shaw slinging it around 45-50 times. If we get a sizeable lead let the backups play and get some experience. We have a lot more games to go after this one to get to the SEC championship.

Conclusion: This should be a fairly easy win for the Gamecocks. The Blazers will be very overmatched and we should control this game from the opening kickoff. UAB has a very bad defense so expect a lot of offense and points out of the Cocks. Good tuneup for the secondary to get ready for some of the more proficient passing attacks we will see later in the season in the Sec.

Prediction: Gamecocks 34 Blazers 3

The key principle of Ash Wednesday is to remind us that we came from Ash, and to Ash we shall return. Well, yesterday, February 22, 2012 all of my teams seemed to be returning to ash. It was a nice long day yesterday, work, followed by church, followed by a meeting followed by sports misery. What a sharp contrast that is to the party in NOLA.

Continue reading this post »

Breaking Down Each Game In 2012: Vanderbilt
In this series I wanna break down each game that the Cocks have through the year. Opening up the series and the season will be the Vanderbilt Commodores. James Franklin has done a pretty good job for the Dores so far in his short tenure in Nashville and I believe this year will be another step in the right direction for his team. The Dores bring in the highest ranked recruiting class in school history and also have some pretty good weapons returning as well.

2011 Record- Overall 6-7, 2-6 in the conference

Bowl Game- Lost to Cincinnati 31-24 in the Autozone Liberty Bowl

Key Starters Returning- Jordan Rodgers/qb, Zac Stacy/rb, Warren Norman/rb

Key Losses- Chris Marve/lb, Casey Howard/db

The Matchups:
1. South Carolina's defensive front vs. Vandy's running game- This years Vanderbilt offense will more than likely be very run oriented. Rodgers is a good running quarterback and Stacy and Norman are pretty solid backs as well. Their aren't any really scary wide-outs on the Vanderbilt offense so the key here is going to start up front for the cocks defense. If Clowney and Taylor along with the rest of the line can shut down the rushing attack of Vandy then it could be a long night for the Dores.

2. South Carolina Passing Game vs. Vandy's young secondary- Last year Vandy ranked very high in the Sec along with Nationally in interceptions. The main pieces that were in place for the intriguing stats are now moving on to the NFL or they graduated. This should be a good chance for some of the new receivers to show what they are made of. If Shaw can get going early in the season with his arm and then also add the fact that he can run, then it's going to be a really good year for us. Vandy's young secondary should give Shaw a chance to really get his confidence going in the right direction in the early stages of the season.

3. South Carolina Offensive Line vs. Vandy's Defensive Front- This is probably the biggest matchup. If the Cocks can win the battle up front (which they should) then it's going to open up the doors for a big night running the football. I realize the o-line will be young but this type of game could be exactly what we need to start off the year because Vandy isn't spectacular on the defensive front and again it comes back to the confidence factor. If we can win the battle up front and be successful running the ball then not only is it going to give the young guys confidence in this game but down the road as well.

Conclussion- Again, I do believe that James Franklin and the Dores will be improved this year and starting out the year at home in a big game like this is a huge advantage for them. But on the flip side, I also think that the difference maker in this game will be Marcus Lattimore. Yes, Latti is coming off knee surgury but I honestly believe that him having to sit out half the year and knowing how hard this kid will work to be better than before will drive him to have his best year yet and I don't believe that Vandy will be able to slow him down. It's a clear advantage for us knowing that most teams in the first game of the year will be a little rusty and playing the cocks with Latti running the ball isn't going to help. Vandy will keep it close for about a half and the Cocks will pull away late.

Prediction- Gamecocks 31 Vandy 13

Breaking Down Each Game In 2012: East Carolina
Today I'm going to continue the breakdown series for next year by talking about the Gamecocks next opponent which is East Carolina. Last years season opener at East Carolina was anything but a cake walk and even a little bit scary at times. Thank goodness for Stephen (the kegstand) Garcia in that one.

2011 Record- 5-7

Bowl Game- None

Key Players Lost- Dominique Davis

Last Years Meeting- South Carolina 56 East Carolina 37

The Matchups:
1. Jadeveon Clowney vs. ECU Running Backs...ECU loses their main star from last years 5-7 team in quarterback Dominique Davis. This is a huge loss for them and the Pirates will have to rely heavy on their run game to contend with the Cocks. There's not a ton of talent on this ECU team so Clowney and the rest of the d-line should be able to pin their ears back and have a field day against this offense. Look for Clowney to show his maturity in this game and really show what he can do.

2. The Running Back Stable vs. ECU Defense...Lets face it. Last years offense of South Carolina was far from spectacular in the early stages and we still ended up with 56 against the ECU defense and that was with Stephen Garcia under center(he actually played very well in that game). The Pirates defense won't be much better this year and from the opening play they are going to see a lot of rushing by the Cocks. Latti and company should have a big day in this one.

3. Williams Brice Stadium vs. ECU as a team...New quarterback plus not a whole lot of playmakers for the Pirates won't make a good recipe. Add that to the fact that this is the home opener for the Cocks in one of the most hyped and anticipated seasons of all time in Columbia. The croud noise should be a huge factor in this game as well and ECU doesn't play in front of anything like they will see in the Cockpit all year long.

Conclusion: ECU had us down 17-0 at one point last year. They had a good quarterback and a good gameplan centered around him to make plays. It worked for about a half and then we got our act together and won at a neutral site convincingly which is exactly what I think we will do this year. Davis is no longer with the Pirates and Latti will be back and probably better than ever. The Cocks are much more talented in this one at about every position. I look for the Pirates to come out with a decent gameplan in this one but in the end I don't think it matters.

Prediction: Gamecocks 48 ECU 17

Please Fire Darrin Horn.Com

It's a catchy title isn't it? Not only is it catchy, but it needs to be reality really soon. Today if possible.

I don't talk about our basketball team a whole lot this year due to the fact that there's really nothing good to say about it. The team is 9-14 overall and it's 1-8 in SEC play. That lone win in SEC play was a fluke win against Alabama and if they played them ten more times that would probably be the only win we would have in the series. I honestly don't think that it's the lack of talent we have on the team either. Ellington, Cooke, Gill, Richardson, and Harris are all pretty good athletes. Grant it, we are very young and have a lot to learn but if this team is going to learn anything and become contenders in the next couple of years I don't believe that Horn is the man that's gonna make it happen.

Coming into the Horn era I thought as well as a lot of others that this could potentially be a good hire. Horn won a lot of games at Western Kentucky and was a fairly big name in the mid-major schools. He pretty much put W. Kentucky on the map. When he came to Columbia he preached how he would bring tradition and pride to the basketball program here and it almost seemed as if he was going to his first couple of years. We were winning and competing against better schools. Heck, we even beat number 1 Kentucky at one point. The same year we ended up sharing the Eastern division title with Tennessee. Pretty impressive if you ask me. The problem with all this is the fact that in no way, shape, or form was all this success due to the brilliant mind of Darrin Horn. It was simply because Devan Downey was the backbone to the success and without him that year's success would have been taken away and we would have been just as bad as we are now. Since the departure of Downey and a couple other solid players that surrounded him Horn has managed to turn our program into an embarrassment. Not only are we losing to the Kentucky's and the Vanderbilt's, we are losing to teams that are almost as bad as we are and we aren't just losing by a couple points either. We are getting manhandled by these teams. Last nights loss to Tennessee was just pitiful. Tennessee is the same team who got beat by three different mid-major teams this year who aren't even good in their leagues.

I keep reading across all these message boards about the fact that fans aren't showing up for the games and we aren't supporting the basketball program. Why would anyone in their right mind spend their hard earned money to go see these guys play? It's a complete disgrace and until we get smart enough to fire this guy and bring in someone with passion for the program and who can teach our players the ropes the fan attendance isn't going to get any better.

I realize that at this point the job isn't going to be the most appealing one out there for future coaches but we have to make an effort here. Our athletic program is hitting an all time high right now and the only thing bringing it down is the basketball team. There are plenty of guys out there who with a little knowledge could turn it around and make these guys good because the talent is there and it's very young. The time is up on the Darrin Horn project. Let's make a move here and get the basketball program on the same track as the rest of our athletic programs. If we do this then the sky is the limit at South Carolina. We are almost an elite school in all sports, now let's just add the basketball team to it. Go Cock's.

While the build-up is somewhat anti-climactic compared to past years (and I for one appreciate that), 2012 NSD is not without some drama. Where will Chris Moody's LOI go? Will we any commits bail at the 11th hour? Is Joe Schad awake yet? At any rate, I thought we could keep an unofficial log of all those recruits who've faxed their letters to Columbia. As of 9:40 AM, our verified recruits are:

Chaz Elder

Rico McWilliams

Jody Fuller

Tj Gurley

Kendric Salley

Jerrell Adams

A few others have purportedly faxed their LOIs in, Including Carlos Hood, Kyle Fleetwood, Brendan Nostovich, and Mike Davis. So hopefully the day goes on without any major surprises. Shaq Roland signs at 10:30.

Scott Hood called National Signing Day the largest reality show for sports fans. I completely agree. Such hype, such build-up, and yet so silly to be lavishing this amount of attention on the 'contestants'. But man, is it fun to watch.

Add to comment thread as LOIs roll in!

http://lardassio.blog.com/2012/01/02/lardassios-losers-2011-12-bowl-extravaganza/ ...............WOOOOOOOOOOOOO............................- ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS -

LARDASSIO, THE GREAT ONE ( me ), has been blessed with immeasurable talent, a worldwide media empire, the adoration of millions and an over abundance of modesty. Before we delve into this years edition of Bowl LOSERS, I want to express thanks to those who have always been there for THE GREAT ONE. The following have always offered support and good counsel when called upon. I think of them as LARDASSIO’S WINNERS ………….

1) DERIK LATTIG – After meeting Derik in Jerry Jones private suite at Cowboy’s Stadium, I knew this guy had what it takes to make it in THE LARDASSIO business, or show business as it is known to some. I hired him on the spot to head the New Projects division at LARDASSIO WORLDWIDE MEDIA INC. Derik has never dissapointed and has developed a new reality series called AMERICAN PINUPS. His latest can’t miss HIT SHOW is based on the lives and work of several beautiful retro style pinup models. THE GREAT ONE expects great things from Derik……Have a look at this trailer for more details…..American Pinups! www.americanpinups.tv

2) MAD MATT SPORTA – My Man MATT…. When THE GREAT ONE needs an inside look at College/Pro Football games, I send the G-5 for MAD MATT SPORTA. Together we have bankrupted Las Vegas three times, but who is counting ??? Remember THE HAMMERDOWN IN COLATOWN last year, or USC/CLEMSON the last three years ??? MADD MATT is my MUSE……..WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Go see MATT at……..MADMATTSPORTA www.youtube.com

3) THE MAIN BOARD ( TMB ) – That’s right the guys at TMB have welcomed THE GREAT ONE with open arms and anytime I want to talk sports, I can instantly connect with over 800K of my very best friends. They even organized a HUGE toy drive for those in need over the Holidays. Thanks for the warm welcome guys……….http://www.the-mainboard.com/

4) RIVALS – I want to thank all of my employees at RIVALS and YAHOO SPORTS. You guys tried hard this year, but we still have a long way to go before we can earn the respectability enjoyed by SI/ESPN and the HILLBILLY GAZETTE. Special mention to Pat Forde, Mike Huegenin and David Fox……You guys gave a decent effort this year, but as stated in your contract, you will be required to write your own material in 2012 and stop filching from THE GREAT ONE. Now beat it and get to work……What am I paying you for anyway ???

- LARDASSIO’S LOSERS 2011-2012 BOWL EXTRAVAGANZA -

Hello and welcome to the 2011-2012 LARDASSIOS LOSER’S BOWL EXTRAVAGANZA…….Can I get a WOOOOOOOOOOO ???………AMEN. 2011 provided an exciting season of CFB and once again proved the superior intellect of THE GREAT ONE. I have preached for years that no conference can compete with THE SEC, that TX./OKIE and the rest of THE IRRELEVANT 12 are KAPUT, that TOSU/WISKY/MICHIGAN and the SPARKLES of THE LITTLE 10 are PRETENDERS, that SCAL/OREGAMI and the rest of THE PUNCHLESS 12 are little more than West coast SISSIES, That THE BE and THE ACC would compete for worst conference dishonors, that ND is a SHAM CFB program, that FSPEWWW/MIAMUH/and UF are FINITO. Ted Williams has nothing on THE GREAT ONE, I’m batting an even thousand…………………… Now it’s time for LARDASSIO’S BEEF………Losing teams (UCLA) in Bowls ??? UF, TOSU and other barely above .500 teams receiving bids ??? The sheer number of meaningless Bowls ??? It’s almost enough to cause THE GREAT ONE to give up on CFB altogether. Instead, I have decided to call a meeting with the commissioners of all major conferences ( except the ACC ) and the AD’s of each member school. I will propose a playoff format and offer to televise the entire event via LARDASSIO INTERNATIONAL MEDIA INC.’s new television network. THE GREAT ONE will solve this madness once and for all. And what of The ACC ??? The MAC will exchange places with these CLOWNS. The ACC proved once and for all that they do not belong in D1 Football. Speaking of the ACC…..On to the LOSERS……….

1) THE ORANGE BOWL -

WVU ABSOLUTLY FREAKING DESTROYS CLEMSON 70-33 ……….THE GREAT ONE, LARDASSIO, ( me ) is proud to present the number one LOSER for the 20011-12 CFB Bowl season. This extreme dishonor goes to the CLEMSON TIGRESSES who managed not only embarrass themselves, but also served to cement the ACC’s position as the worst major CFB conference. Like the SUGAR Bowl, I want to know how in HELL could either of these LOSERS got into a BCS game ??? As with The SUGAR Bowl, I watched the first 10 minutes of the game, then changed over to River Monsters. I checked the score 45 minutes later and WVU ran it in on the last play of the first half to go up 49-20……THE GREAT ONE can assure you that I did not miss a single play of the second half, which proved to be as bad as the first for the TOOTHLESS TIGRESSES …….I said all year CLEMSON was over rated ( In fact, dear reader, if you will kindly refer to LARDASSIO’S LOSERS WEEK Xll, you will note that THE GREAT ONE predicted CLEMSON would lose their last three games … Well they lost 2/3 ) ……LARDASSIO, RIGHT AGAIN…….WOOOOOOOOOOO…………….CLEMSON now stands ALONE as the LOSER in the worst beating ever administered to a Conference Champion and participant in a BCS Bowl game. And God forbid we forget the recipient of the Bobby Dodd National Coach of the year award, one DABO BIEBER. Coach BIEBER is well known for his past cheer leading and locker room dancing experience. Coach BIEBER will be utilizing these talents to earn a living within 24 months as the CLEMSON fan base ( well known for running off Coach Ken Hatfield after a 9 win/bowl victory season ) has had just about enough of this joker…………DABO BIEBER is also known for his recruiting and At this rate, if CLEMSON can recruit another 1/2 dozen, 5 STAR players, to go along with the ones signed last year, they may only lose by three TD’s in next years bowl………. Now THAT will be a real COACH OF THE YEAR performance.

2) THE OUTBACK BOWL -

MSU over UGA 33-30…………..Congratulations are in order for the 2011 SEC EAST CHAMP UGA BULLPUPS. You were the only SEC team to lose to a LITTLE 10 team in the SEC/LITTLE 10, 3 game showdown Jan. 2. Everyone on the planet, or the SEC which qualifies as the football planet, knew that you backed into the SEC EAST title and even though the delusional bare gummed fan base argued to the contrary, I, LARDASSIO, THE GREAT ONE, knew that UGA was a mere pretender. Let’s see……. you are up 16-0 against the 1/2 ass SPARKLES of MSU and let them come all the way back to steal a win from an SEC foe. The BULLPUPS have embarrassed themselves and the SEC for the last time. I just got off the phone with Mike " The Mensch " Slive " and gave him the go ahead to initiate trade talks with the ACC.I am prepared to accept FSU or MIAMUH for the BULLPUPS. The SEC will get the short end of the deal, but neither of these lowly ACC teams will ever win enough games in the SEC to qualify for a bowl. Hence, the opportunity to lose in embarrassing fashion, to teams like the MSU SPARKLES will be removed from the table forever. Please join me in welcoming UGA to the ACC. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

3) THE GATOR BOWL -

UF over TOSU 24-17……….This is the only semi major, or what used to be considered a semi major bowl that I seriously considered leaving off the LOSERS list, because neither team deserved a bid. However, after a nanosecond of consideration, I knew that could not be. In a rare DOUBLE LOSER GAME, both teams are deemed LOSERS . Let’s examine TOSU……2011 was quite a year for the Cheats of Columbus. First, they were involved in the worst LITTLE 10 cheating scandal of all time ( all correctly predicted by THE GREAT ONE mind you). TOSU then cut a deal with the NCAA and ran Coach TRESSES out of town in a seemingly sincere gesture of appeasement to the NCAA. Well it all turned out to be a SCAM of OHIOAN proportions when they turned around and hired UNCLE DISTURBIE MEYER aka Capt. Thorazine. This is the same BUM that ditched UF last year because of mental health issues and the desire to spend more time with his family. TOSU deserves whatever they get, in this case, it will be another Coach within three years……………………..

Onward and further downward to UF, the team made great by Coach Spurrier and Ron Zook ( who do you think recruited all of DISTURBIES players ??? ) then cheapened by DISTURBIE MEYER. No one, outside of GVILLE Florida, feels sorry for the GATORS because they have the most entitled/intolerable fans in CFB ( except for BAMA ). Thankfully ( again called by THE GREAT ONE ) , the run in GVILLE is over and we won’t have to worry about winning football teams again in Gainesville. Unless, of course, Coach Spurrier decides to return to his Alma Mater. This is not likely though as the UF admn., AD and BULL GATOR supporters Crapped all over the Man that brought them to the dance. That’s what you get when you don’t leave said dance with the one that brung you. However, UF’s unwanted lesson in humility is just what the Dr. ordered. DR. LARDASSIO that is……….WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

4) THE BCS TITLE GAME -

ALABAMA over LSU 21-0……………. Oh boy, this will hurt worse than a tooth extraction but in order to maintain the integrity of this column, I have to say …… CONGRATULATIONS BAMA on winning the 2011-2012 BCS Nat Champ. BAMA won it all this year and much like UGA, coasted to their Bowl game with one of the easiest schedules in the SEC. To their credit, they did get hot when it counted and with LSU suffering an uncharacteristic bad game, were able to add another NAT CHAMP to the trophy case. I am especially disapointed in LSU since I had picked them to win it all this and last season. The BAYOU KITTY CATS were thoroughly dominated in every phase of the game and fittingly deserve the LARDASSIO’S LOSERS label for being on the wrong side of this EPIC loss. So what if BAMA won the game ??? They are still the most despised program in CFB ( sincerest apologies to ND, MIAMUH and SCAL ) and if they are not, they ought to be. Why ??? Start with the fan base, the most obnoxious in CFB and it will only get worse now. Next up is LITTLE NICKY Saban……Nobody likes a liar and NICKY will never hear the end of it from THE GREAT ONE. That’s ok though…..almost ALL of the BAMA NAT CHAMP teams were put together with numerous infractions of NCAA violations. Hopefully SABAN is no different than BEAR BRYANT was in this regard and BAMA will again pay the price for CHEATERY. Hey, at least SABAN is straight ( I think ), unlike the BEAR and this may be his only saving grace.

5) THE CAPITAL ONE BOWL -

USC over NEBBISH 30-13……….. Proving that THE GREAT ONE is human after all ( my preseason " wishfull thinking" pick was a 14-0 NAT CHAMP for the COCKS, my legit pick was for LSU to win all of the beans ) , the COCKS were still quite impressive in running the bumbling HUSKETTES off the field in Orlando. Bozo Pelini showed that 18 months of anger management not only took the edge off his temperament ( barely) , but it also negatively affected the on field performance of the HUSKETTES. The COCKS played HARD, the defense was STIFF and the offense PENETRATED the HUSKETTES repeatedly and often. We also learned that Steve Spurrier will be recognized as the greatest coach in CFB history after he wins the NAT CHAMP at USC. NEBBISH should look on the bright side though, even in defeat, as they did manage to move up a notch in the conference pecking order as the LITTLE 10 is rated 1/100th of a decimal point higher than the IRRELEVANT 12. Hey, NEBBISH will take a victory wherever it can find one. Back to Pelini, the guy is a total embarrassment to NEBBISH and ducked Spurrier for the post game handshake . Tom Osborne will have the BOZO out of Lincoln soon enough.

6) THE SUGAR BOWL -

MICHIGAN over VT 23-20………. THE GREAT ONE , LARDASSIO ( me ) is proud to proclaim that after watching the first 6 minutes of this FIASCO, I changed the channel and watched " 3:10 TO YUMA " . It’s a great Western movie and was the best way I could think of protesting one of the worst Bowl matches of all time. Sure, MEATCHICKEN was 10-2, but the LITTLE 10 had an historically down year, They lost to the SPARKLES and to one of the worst IOWA teams in recent memory. VT sported an identical record, but barely beat lowly DUKE and lost twice to the most OVER RATED CLEMSON team in recent memory. I guess what I want to say is that neither of these teams deserved a BCS bid and it is high time that the NCAA steps in and evicts the BCS and all of the local Bowl committees. Both are as crooked as they come and have ruined CFB. Almost forgot about the game, I only know what I read and saw in the first quarter, but it was a real stinker. MICHIGAN represented the third tier LITTLE 10 while VT was chosen to rep the 5th tier ACC. VT had their chances but forgot to bring a kicker to NAWLINS. WHATEVER, I don’t have anything else to say about this game.

7) THE HOLIDAY BOWL-

TX over CAL 21-10………. This game transpired much as I suspected it would. The once proud SHORTHORNS edging out the Cal Bears of the PUNCHLESS 12. No one ever expects much from CAL, so I have to go with TX as the loser in the battle of two 7-5 teams. I am oh so happy to report yet again that something is VERY wrong in Austin. How can you have 10 straight top 10 recruiting classes and only win 7 games two years in a row ??? Gotta be the coaching. Mack Brown has to be pushing 80 years old and all of the warning signs are evident….You know the jig is up when the AD issues statements regarding long term contract extensions. What a load….This is a shameless ploy/plea for recruits to stay in Tx. instead of going to LSU, TAM, OKIE STATE or BAYLOR. I give Mack one more year before he packs it in and I look forward to another decade of bad football in Austin. WOOOOOOOOOO.

THE CHAMPS SPORTS BOWL

FSU over NOTRE DAME 18-14……….The fearless squaws from Tallytown managed yet again to pull another totem pole sized horseshoe out of their ass in defeating the hapless IRISH in this " Turd in a punch " bowl. Neither team was bowl worthy this year and 15 years ago, both teams would have been watching the bowls from home with these records.Everyone knows my position on the Choirboy’s and they did nothing to prove me wrong in gift wrapping this victory for the SEMI-NULL-SETS. Kelly will finish out his 5 year contract before heading to a Division ll coordinator position near you. Lastly…..What do you call the last 25 years of bad football in South Bend ??? A GREAT START………WOOOOOOOOOO. Did the NULL-SETS think they would get off unscathed ??? NOT BLOODY LIKELY. FSPEWWW has owned recruiting for 5 plus years in Florida and still has nothing to show except back to back 4 loss seasons ( as predicted exactly by THE GREAT ONE ) and this is an improvement from the last BOOBY BOWDEN years. This was the year the squaws were supposed to win it all and in 5 months all of the preseason magazines will call FSPEWWW a top 10 team again. When will these JACKASSES learn ??? The ACC has proven to be Strychnine for FSPEWWW.

9) THE FIESTA BOWL -

OKIE STATE over STANFORD 41-38……….No way THE GREAT ONE will ever label STANFORD a LOSER. These guys are true student athletes and exhibit all good traits of overachievers. Give me these guys in a foxhole anytime……OKIE STATE, not so much. Of course the COWBOYS had a remarkable year, but I hearken back to the IOWA STATE loss and narrow wins over TX. , TAM and K-STATE. Sorry T. BOOGER PICKENS, you did not belong in the NAT CHAMP game . I don’t want to hear the plane crash excuse as I covered that earlier this season and you were outplayed by the SHORTHORNS and AGGIES. In the end, you are a victim of IRRELEVANT 12 affiliation, plain and simple. There is still a ray of hope for you and OKIE to join the SEC……….You wanna play for all the marbles ??? Then as the great TRED BARTA would say " Do it the hard way " the SEC way.

11) THE INDEPENDENCE BOWL-

MIZZOU over UNC 41-24……….Another typical ACC Bowl game performance turned in by the TARCHEATS. This was an intriguing game of two programs headed in opposite directions. MIZZOU, the latest member of the SEC, is now a MADE team and will add a solid overall athletic program to the already superior SEC. UNC, is a RAM of another color. Exhibit A….They are, along with DUKE and a few more mouthy little N.C. schools, one of the charter members of the rarely respected ACC. The UNC football program embarrassed the conference in major fashion by committing a vast number of NCAA infractions. That is not all however as the TARHEEL Basketball team, long rumored to operate outside of the law, is expected to be the target of an NCAA primary investigation that could begin before this basketball season is over. THE GREAT ONE, is saddened by the bad name that UNC has given to SOUTHERN Sports. Thankfully, it is the ACC ( remember MIAMUH ??? ) that will bear the brunt of the NCAA’s wrath in 2012. I must add that the SOUTH is fortunate to have the SEC teams to improve the reputation recently sullied by the ACC and it’s members egregious acts. Thank you SEC.

12) THE ROSE BOWL -

OREGAMI over WISKY 45-38………. Little Chippy Kelly finally got a BCS Bowl win. Never mind that is was gained at the expense of the two loss LITTLE 1o Champ/chump WISKY Badgers another PRETENDER team that received NAT CHAMP ink earlier in the season. The only thing we learned from this game is that The PUNCHLESS 12 and LITTLE 10 are not worth the advertising Dollars spent on this one.

13) THE COTTON BOWL -

ARKYSLAW over KANSAS STATE 29-13……….What did you expect ??? The IRRELEVANT 12 vs. The SEC in another showdown. K-STATE looked good in this game and THE GREAT ONE was pleased with the athleticism and eagerness displayed by another better than average K-STATE WILDCATS Football team. THE GREAT ONE has an even greater amount of respect for Coach BILL SNYDER and wishes this team nothing but success. In fact, it would be OK with me if K-STATE took OKIES place and came over to the SEC, along with OKIE STATE……….. The HAWGS of ARKYSLAW proved that they are a very good team and once again represented the SEC with pride. The HAWGS are the only other team in the SEC that I can tolerate so best of luck to these guys as you should finish very close to the top 5 this year…..WOOOOOOOOOOOO…….PIG.

14) THE TICKET CITY BOWL-

HUSELESS over SANDUSKY STATE 30-14 ………. OK, I admit it, I am not even sure what conference the HUSELESS COUGARS are in and I do not intend to take the time to look it up. THE GREAT ONE does know that at one point during the regular season, several sportswriters, primarily from the South West had the nerve to mention HUSELESS and BCS Bowl/ NAT CHAMP in the same sentence.THE GREAT ONE told you all that it was nonsense and as usual, LARDASSIO scored a bullseye. Speaking of a Bullseye SANDUSKY STATE came into this game with a huge Brown eyed Winker tatooed on their on their backs, literally. Seems that Jerry Sandusky still has access to the locker room and painted a faux anus on the game jerseys for a little Holiday target practice. Remember, I, LARDASSIO, THE GREAT ONE, or me, predicted what was to transpire at SANDUSKY STATE the day it was reported and did not have to wait three weeks for the story to develop. Eat your heart out ESPN, YAHOO/RIVALS, NBC etc. The proof is in my blog.

15) THE BELK BOWL-

N.C. STATE over "LOUISE" VILLE " 31-24………. 1st floor…..Women’s clothes, 2nd floor…..Sporting goods, 3rd floor…..1/2 ass 4th tier bowl games airing on a Tuesday evening. For those of you not from the deep South, let me explain what a BELK is. BELK’S is a 3rd rate, North Carolina based department store chain that makes WalMart look like Saks Fifth Avenue. This game featured teams from the worst major conferences in CFB, the ACC and the BE., locked in mortal combat to determine who plays the crappiest CFB in America. At the time this game was played, I was ready to award the crown to the BE. That is until CLEMSON was publicly drawn and quartered in The ORANGE Bowl. The Wolfpack is not too bad and is the only N.C based team, besides Wake Florist that is tolerated by THE GREAT ONE. " LOUISE " VILLE, on the other hand needs to give up football. Old Charlie Strong looks like an ass now for agreeing to coach here. Oh well, we can’t all be WINNERS, like LARDASSIO……WOOOOOOOOOO.

16) THE ALAMO BOWL-

BAYLOR over WASHINGTON 67-56……….. Robert Griffin lll proved to be good, IRRELEVANT 12 good. Look what happened to the Heisman trophy winner when they ran into the defensive juggernaut of the PUNCHLESS 12. I, LARDASSIO, THE GREAT ONE, want to personally thank the monkey that put this game together. Whomever you are, you singlehandedly proved what I have said all season long……Both the PUNCHLESS and Irrelevant 12 are 2nd rate conferences. THE BATTLING BAPTISTS of BAYLOR, mighty conquerors of OKIE and TX. narrowly won in a offensive slug fest against the 7-5 HUSKIES. Put it this way, both Wake Florist and Vandy would run either of these teams off the field.

17) THE PINSTRIPE BOWL -

RUTGERS over IOWA STATE 27-13………………The BABE , DIMAGGIO , MARTIN and MANTLE are turning over in their graves. Not that they have a bowl in the new Yankee stadium, they are incredulous that the BE has an automatic tie in. What the Hell, Rutgers and the BE has feelings too, might as well let them play against a 6-6 CYCLONE team. I give up…….Just shoot me already.

18) THE INSIGHT.COM BOWL -

OKIE over IOWA 31-14……………… Well look where the preseason NAT CHAMP ended up. In the CRAPPER, right where THE GREAT ONE said they belonged. I don’t have anything against OKIE, in fact, I lobbied extensively to invite them to the SEC. I felt that a decade in the big leagues would have possibly put them back in contention for a NAT CHAMP. Twas not to be though as the OKIES chose instead to make their bed and hump in it with the SHORTHORNS of TX. Speaking of TX., I fully expect Bob Stoops to join Mack Brown in the unemployment line very soon. The top two teams of the IRRELEVANT 12 have brought down the overall quality of the conference to an historic low and have been replaced in the pecking order by OKIE STATE and BAYLOR. Now THAT is sweet justice………………….

Wait a minute, Iowa did lose the game though. The Hog Farmers have marched steadily backwards over the last three years and ended up at 7-6 after losing to OKIE. Six losses, The .COM bowl and membership in the LITTLE 10…… That is punishment enough, I wouldn’t wish that on CLEMSON.

19) The CHICK- FIL-A BOWL -

AUBUM over VIRGINIA 43-24…………..The HIGH PLAINS CHEATERS had to overcome a major obstacle this year……..They are under intense NCAA scrutiny and had to play by the rules. I don’t care what any AUBUM fan says….The TIGERS cheated and that is that. The YAHOOS of UVA are not a Football school and really aren’t even a basketball school anymore either. The ACC just can’t catch a break this year and never will as long as I have any say in the matter.

20) THE SUN BOWL -

UTAH over GEORGIA TECH 30-27…………..The RAMBLING SMEGMA of GEORGIA TECH didn’t quite have enough firepower to overcome the UTERUSES, but they sure gave the old college try. This bowl supplies further evidence that CFB needs to seriously consider conference contraction. Losing the ACC would not be such a bad idea.

21) THE ARMED FORCES BOWL -

BYU over TULSA 24-21……………..So the Grand High Poobah of the Mormon Church decided BYU merits their own sports network ??? This idea is almost as bright as ordering Mitt Romney to run for President. OK, so they beat Tulsa on a last second TD, but outside of the mediocre State of Utah, who would waste time or pay money to watch this crappy product ??? BYU isn’t even the number one team in Utah for Pete’s sake. If I, LARDASSIO, THE GREAT ONE, were calling the shots in Provo, I would form a Football wagon train, ala Joseph Smith, and migrate Westward to the PUNCHLESS 12, or even East to the MAC. At least TX. is populated by 28 million sucker SHORTHORN fans that will follow their Fearless Flits through thick and thin. Utah has about 3 million and less than 1/3 are actually practicing Mormons. Mitt Romney has more chance of being a two time President than the Cougars have of EVER playing competitive football again.

22) THE LITTLE CAESERS PIZZA BOWL -

PURDUE over WESTERN MICHIGAN 37-32………. The LITTLE 10 rolled out one of their best teams to battle the Broncos of WEST MICH.Some would argue that the game was closer than it should have been. LARDASSIO, THE GREAT ONE, predicted as much all season long and THE LITTLE 10 proved once again that they are only 1/2 step ahead of the MAC.

23) THE MAACO BOWL -

BOISE STATE over ARIZONA STATE 56-24……… As much as I like the Potato Farmers, I have to call them the LOSER in this game. Not due to on field performance mind you. No, BOISE was boned by the BCS. The Fighting Potato-ans are also a victim of geography and population. No way in Hell the PUNCHLESS 12 is ever going to ask BOISE to join their little party. The Broncos have proved they can beat just about anybody in the nation as well as lose one game a year to any nobody. Joining the Big East is the only viable option available. With any luck and if Patterson can continue to reload, They should make it back to a BCS soon. Too bad that the SOS of the BIG EAST will prevent BOISE from winning a NAT CHAMP, even if they manage to run the table.

24) THE BBVA COMPASS BOWL -

SMU over PITT 28-6………. This was NOT your Fathers team at PITT. No freaking way. The great years of Dorsett, Green, Jackson, Marino etc. are a very distant memory. In fact, Pitt hasn’t put a decent product on the field since Reagan was in office. Better days are not in store as the pitiful PANTHERS, along with SYRACUSE, will join the illustrious ACC next season. With UCF joining the BE, it looks like the ACC gets the hind TIT yet again………Headed in the opposite direction are the MUSTANGS of SMU. LARDASSIO finds it difficult to pull against the the NAGS, even if Craig James played there. These guys have come along nicely since the death penalty years. Hopefully, they will continue to improve and steal as many recruits from TX. as they can.

25) THE MUSIC CITY BOWL -

MISSISSIPPI STATE over WAKE FLORIST 23-17………..What do you expect when you pit a bottom of the barrel 6-6 SEC team vs. one of the better ACC teams, also 6-6 ??? Answer…..An SEC win of course. MISSY STATE had 4-5 turnovers and showed why they were sitting in the back of the SEC bus this year, but it was MORE THAN ENOUGH to defeat the DEMON DEACONS. THE GREAT ONE is a WAKE FLORIST fan and will withhold derisive comments, as well as expectations for this small private Baptist school in N.C. Indeed, they have played very well the last 6-7 seasons, considering the academic requirements from within they must operate. Besides, on a given day, WAKE can play and beat almost anyone…..Just ask FSPEWWW….LOSERS to WAKE this season an 1or two more times over the last decade.

26) THE MEINEKE CAR CARE BOWL -

TAM over NORTHWESTERN 33-22………….The FIGHTING SCIENTISTS are the most likeable LITTLE 10 team and THE GREAT ONE has a hard time pulling against them. However, that does not excuse their affiliation with the LEGENDLESS and LEADERLESS pack of pretenders. NORTHWESTERN is an excellent academic school that rivals any academic program in the SEC. ….MICHIGAN, TOSU, WISKY and THE SPARKLES could all benefit from adopting the strict academic standards employed at NORTHWESTERN and in the SEC…… This is a great opportunity to welcome TAM to the SEC. THE GREAT ONE, joins the entire world of CFB in admiration of the heroic and principled stand taken against the evil greed of TX. and wishes you nothing but success( especially against BAMA, UGA, and UF…the most obnoxious members in the SEC ). Welcome home TAM, welcome home.

27) THE FIGHT HUNGER BOWL -

ILLINOIS over UCLA 20-14………. Say WHAT ??? UCLA ends the season with 8 losses and the ILLINI finish with 6 ??? I never want to see either of these teams mentioned in the same sentence as the word BOWL again…..EVER. DISGRACEFUL. The only FIGHT in this Bowl was between The Lifetime network and The Hallmark channel for broadcasting rights.

28) THE LIBERTY BOWL-

CINCY over VANDY 31-24………. The BE did surprised no one in the regular season, but did manage a respectable showing during in the Bowl’s. VANDY played well this year and I figured they would beat up on the BEARCATS. Hey , nobody is perfect all of the time, including the SEC, but it was the COMMODES, so no real loss of respect in this one.

That’s all for this season folks. I told you there were to many Bowl games and the rest do not rate mention. THE GREAT ONE does not want any complaints either as 2/3 of the games that did make the list were hardly worth including. Now it is time to shift my focus to other projects like my major expose on BEAR BRYANT ( Expected release Spring 2012) and the pending NCAA investigation of the UNC TARCHEAT Basketball team. Anyway, that’s a wrap for 2011-2012 and remember try not to be a LOSER this year. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.