Go to the Game Thread to leave your thoughts about the battle of Good vs. Evil and Well-Done Color Scheme vs. Eye-Bleeding Monstrosity.

1. ACC vs. SEC. I kind of made fun of Ron Morris for his picks, but he makes one good point before going round the bend:

Middle-of-the-pack SEC vs. middle-of-the-pack ACC makes for easy pick.

You could argue that there's a gulf of difference between South Carolina's "middle of the pack" (7-4, 4-4 SEC, 6-4 vs. FBS) and The Team from the Upstate's "middle of the pack" (6-5, 4-4 ACC, 4-5 vs. FBS). But that doesn't really matter. Morris is right that South Carolina's .500 record in the SEC is worth more than The Team from the Upstate's .500 mark in the ACC. Every league in America is better than the ACC, with the possible exception of the Big East. South Carolina is better prepared for a big game.

2. Not the DaviSpiller monster you remember. In fact, James Davis and C.J. Spiller have looked downright mortal this year, combining for 110 ypg. Neither has rushed for more than 100 yards in a game since both of them did it against Maryland on Sept. 27. In years past, this was a running back tandem to fret over. But this year, much like the rest of The Team from the Upstate, there's no reason to be concerned about them.

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Welcome to our first edition of "Theorems and Stratagems of the Game," a weekly look at the, ahem, most original calls of the college football weekend. Or at least the one's I'm aware of.

They're just the best tailback tandem in the nation. They can wait. Oh, the buffet of choices offered by the coaching genius that is Tommy Bowden. But the most obvious one is the decision to give James Davis and C.J. Spiller eight rushes for 20 yards. That's right -- a huge, nationally-televised, nonconference game, and you give the best two players on your team eight carries.

Ah, but you say, the game had gotten away after the second quarter and the Tigers had to throw. But DaviSpiller got only five carries in the first half. In part because, um, someone else had to get the first carry.

"Does he always give a freshman a play like that?" Spurrier said, referring to Clemson Coach Tommy Bowden’s decision to give the ball to freshman Jamie Harper on the Tigers’ first possession.

It was Clemson’s second offensive play, after Alabama had driven and scored a field goal on its first drive despite having to overcome three offensive penalties.

Harper was hit at the line, fumbled, and Alabama converted the gift possession into a field goal a few minutes later.

... in his own Sunday news conference looking back on the Saturday Night Disaster, Bowden admitted he promised the first carry to Harper, and he said he’ll do it again.

Congratulations, Tommy Bowden. You win the Jorvorskie Lane/Miami Memorial Trophy.

Greg Robinson might well be an idiot. I can put it no better than Troy Nunes Is An Absolute Magician, so read their take. I'll wait ...

Okay, it's not just that Robinson decided to punt. That's bad enough, but excusable; any hopes of winning were slim to none. But your reasoning is you want to let your defense handle it? Pretend for a moment that they hadn't given up the 30 points; it still comes down to whether you have a better chance to score 20 points with 5:30 on the clock or 3:30 on the clock. Unless Northwestern takes complete leave of their senses and tries a low-percentage pass.

There's only one problem with that. Greg Robinson is coaching Syracuse, not Northwestern.

I don't know why I'm yelling at you, but I'm yelling, got it?

Wardrobe malfunction. As halftime approached in the Tennessee-UCLA game, a report came from Holly Rowe that I literally could not believe: The Vols assistant coaches were scrambling to make sure that all the players were wearing identical wristbands.

Now, one could question why a team goes on the road with more than one set of wristbands. And one could wonder why the coaches didn't check to make sure that the wristbands were identical, you know, before the game started.

In any case, no sooner had Rowe made her report than disaster ensued. Jonathan Crompton ran into Arian Foster and fell down.

Of all the nearly comical coaching mistakes that doomed the Vols, this was the worst.

Quarterback decisions. Sure, there were plenty of questionable decisions when it came to the signal-caller position this week. Why stick with Tommy Beecher after pick No. 3, Steve Spurrier? Why choose a QB and then play to something that is not his supposed strength (if in fact it's a strength at all), Rich Rodriguez?

But, and I do hate to agree with Dr. Lou, but ... why, oh why, did Frank Beamer even entertain the idea of redshirting Tyrod Taylor? You lose your top four WRs from a passing attack that was far from overwhelming to begin with, and you redshirt the QB who can run? This at Virginia Tech, which is famous -- infamous -- for Vicks, not Mannings.

Take heart, Hokie fans. Beamer has reversed course. Good luck getting back your reputation.

It's halftime in Pasadena with the Vols up 14-7, so the week isn't officially over yet. However, I think we can begin to evaluate what just happened. So here it is: the good, the bad, and the ugly.

The Good

Nick Saban and the Tide

For my next trick, I will switch Tommy Tuberville with Tommy Bowden. I'll bet you'd all love that, huh?

Last year, Saban was the most expensive coach by win in the country, leading many to wonder if Bama pays him too much. After this weekend, some will wonder if they pay him too little. His young team looked like a well-oiled machine in Atlanta, where he made Tommy Bowden look like an amateur. It's hard to say how good his team really is, considering that Clemson was probably overrated and that Bama had consistency issues last year. But considering the youth of the Tide, they may only get better, which is a scary thought for the rest of the SEC.

Pete Carroll and Southern California

Carroll's team also looked very well prepared as they demolished UVA in Charlottesville. Maybe it has something to do with how bad the Gamecocks always look in openers, but I think it's really impressive when a coach can have his team firing on all cylinders right out of the gate, and Carroll always seems to have guys ready on opening day. Just ask Auburn and Arkansas. Look for this team to destroy Ohio State when they play.

The Bad

The ACC

This is getting a lot of attention all over the place, so I won't harp on it too long. But, really, is this a BCS conference? They fell flat on their faces in every important out-of-conference match-up they participated in over the weekend. From NC State's thrashing at the hands of a less-than-stellar South Carolina, to VT's loss to ECU, to UVA's beatdown at the hands of USC, to perhaps the worst of them all, Clemson's pathetic performance against Bama, the ACC can't wait for conference play to begin.

Sly Croom and Mississippi State

Sly Croom's job this year is to prove that MSU can continue to improve on the breakout season it had last year. Needless to say, losing to LA Tech was not the kind of start he needed. Croom needs every win he can get to make it back to a bowl game this year, and he won't get many of the gimmes that Tech should have been.

The Ugly

Mike Sherman and Texas A&M

Arkansas State? WTF?

Tommy Bowden and Clemson

Nick Saban doesn't deserve all the credit for his shocking upset of this supposed national title contender. Tommy Bowden and staff did everything they could to lose this game. In a move that I find completely perplexing, their two great backs, CJ Spiller and James Davis, only carried the ball eight times, for a total of 20 yards. Idiotic doesn't even begin to describe this. The team also looked generally unprepared, with the young offensive line looking especially bad. All in all, it was typical Bowden: on a national stage with a chance to confirm high preseason expectations by beating a good but not great team, he layed a huge egg as a superior coach totally outclassed him. Luckily for Bowden, his team may still be the best team in the putrid ACC.

This was easily the most painful game of the 2007 campaign for the Gamecocks. The Team from the Upstate rebounded from being down 21-20, converted after 3rd-and-18 and kicked a game-winning field goal as the last seconds ticked off the clock. In our house. To end any hope of a bowl and any hope of redeeming the season.

And so this is a revenge game, as entirely too many games against the Team from the Upstate have been over the years. The problem is that wanting revenge won't be enough to win the game.

OFFENSE

O-line. Two starters return from last year's squad, which already ranked 100th in the FBS by allowing 2.69 sacks a game. And the rushing offense was not as good as you think: 50th in the country, with 161.2 ypg. Good, but not great. ADVANTAGE: SOUTH CAROLINA

Quarterback. The questioning of Cullen Harper confuses me. Sure, he had a running threat that you had to respect, and that's going to help anyone's number. But: 282-of-433, 2,991 yards, 27 TDs, 6 INTs. His QB rating was 140.96, good for 22nd in the country. ADVANTAGE: TEAM FROM THE UPSTATE

Running backs. The DaviSpiller monster accounted for 2,851 all-purpose yards and 19 TDs last year. Sure, it might not be Darren McFadden and Felix Jones, but it's still pretty good. And this tandem actually returns this year. ADVANTAGE: TEAM FROM THE UPSTATE

Remind me again why we decided to play for Tommy Bowden...

Wide receivers. Aaron Kelly returns with his 88 receptions, 1,081 yards and 11 TDs. He's backed up by Tyler Grisham, 60 catches, 653 yards and 4 TDs. They're just flat deeper than South Carolina. ADVANTAGE: TEAM FROM THE UPSTATE

DEFENSE

Defensive line. Ricky Sapp, who had 10 TFL, five of them sacks, is one of three returning starters on the front. The rushing defense was actually better, in some ways, than the rushing offense last year: 23rd in the country, 118.3 ypg. However, they are without Phillip Merling, he of the 78 tackles, 17 TFL, 7 sacks and 21 quarterback pressures. ADVANTAGE: PUSH

Linebackers. One starter returns to this squad, and the losses include leading tackler Nick Watkins, who had 118 last year, and Tramaine Billie, he of the 79 tackles, 4 TFL and seven quarterback pressures. ADVANTAGE: SOUTH CAROLINA

Secondary. All the starters return after a year in which the Team from the Upstate ranked 13th in pass efficiency defense, allowing a 108.31 QB rating. Last year, the Tiggers had 16 picks. ADVANTAGE: TEAM FROM THE UPSTATE

SPECIAL TEAMS

Kicking -- bah! The Team from the Upstate can't kick! NAH NAH NAH!!! I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!!! Actually, Mark Buchholz only hit 61.1 percent of his FG attempts. On the other hand, Jimmy Maners averaged 42.8 yards on his punts. The return game was good on kickoffs, but so-so on punts. ADVANTAGE: PUSH

COACHING

Tommy Bowden. Versus Steve Spurrier. You're kidding, right? ADVANTAGE: SOUTH CAROLINA

RESULT

Again, I never pick the Team from the Upstate to win. Tradition is the only reason to make this selection. POSSIBLE WIN

THE REST OF THEIR SEASON

This is the year for the Team from the Upstate, or so we're told. If they can get past Alabama, the Tiggers are set up to open the season 5-0 before they head to Wake Forest for the de facto Atlantic Division championship game. We think. After that, the toughest remaining conference game is at Florida State. You have the creeping thought: "Dear, merciful Heaven -- they could go undefeated." Then you remember that they're coached by Tommy Bowden. 10-2

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Thus concludes the Target File series -- finally. Upcoming: the final month of the national slate in one preview, and FIVE REASONS debuts for the 2008 season.

And then, football.

6. Ohio State
Sure, Ohio State is almost certain to be the Big Ten champion when the season is over, but the Buckeyes' consecutive waxings at the hands of SEC teams on the sport's biggest stage have devalued that title just a bit.

Granted, Ohio State brings back a roster loaded with the talent that took the Buckeyes to the second of those teams; but what does that tell us, really? Ohio State beat not a single team that ended the season in the Top 15 in the AP poll. They beat the eventual No. 24 team -- Wisconsin sans P.J. Hill -- by three TDs and the No. 18 finisher -- Michigan -- by the score of 14-3. That was a team, remember, that lost to Appalachian State.

This year, Ohio State has a chance to prove itself worthy of national title buzz by defeating Southern Cal. But if the Buckeyes don't, how do they move back into the No. 1 or No. 2 slot? By beating Troy the next week? Wisconsin a few weeks later? Penn State? Illinois? A rebuilding Michigan? Would a one-loss Southern Cal, Georgia, Florida, Missouri or Oklahoma not have a far stronger case for a shot at the title than an Ohio State team that will likely not have a Top 10 win to offset its Top 10 loss?

So talk about Todd Boeckman coming back. Talk about Beanie Wells' Heisman campaign. Talk about James Laurinaitis returning to the linebacker spot. But the Buckeyes ultimately have to prove their worth on the field before they can get a Top 5 ballot from this voter. Here's betting they don't. SBN Blog: Around the Oval

7. The Team from the Upstate
Other blogs have already noted the peril of expecting the Team from the Upstate to actually win the ACC and live up to the preseason hype. And Year 2 has pointed out that Tommy Bowden's tenure is already the longest without a conference crown. But -- please wait for a moment as I am anesthisized to kill the gag reflex before delivering this statement -- I believe in the Tiggers.

Granted, part of this is a sadistic fantasy. I would love to see TTFTU come into the South Carolina 11-0 and ranked in the Top 5 before getting knocked off by the Gamecocks. But we know this isn't going to happen, in part because South Carolina likely wouldn't beat a team that good and in part because TTFTU will drop a game somewhere, when you least expect it.

But when? Against N.C. State, Sept. 13? At Wake Forest, Oct. 9? At Florida State, Nov. 8? From the scheduling standpoint, I can see no two weeks that are likely to hold back-to-back battles against ranked teams for the Tiggers. And it's hard to find a trip game anywhere on the schedule. Sure, that could happen if South Carolina grabs a ranking and the opponent in an ACC Championship Game is ranked, but that would be the only way.

Meanwhile, the DaviSpiller is back, and with it, 1,832 yards and 13 TDs rushing. Returning as quarterback is Cullen Harper (282-of-433, 2,991 yards and 27 TDs), a capable, high-efficiency guy who will win a few games on his own and won't lose any. A good chunk of the defense, ranked 9th in the country last year while only allowing 306.8 ypg, is back. If this team loses, it's not the fault of the talent -- it is the coaching, and Clemson should fire give a long term extension to Baby Bowden.

Unless Florida State rises from the ashes (as some expect) to top the Tiggers, there appears to be nothing to stop them from winning the ACC and heading to the BCS for the first time. Ugh.

Enough to get C&F through the season? Better order some more, just to be sure.

8. Auburn
New quarterback. Two new coordinators. But the Brandon Cox experiment is over, and Al Borges has taken his decreasingly effective playbook away from the Plains. That should count for something.

How much, though? Is Auburn really good enough to beat out LSU for the lead in the SEC West, or are they just a default pick because the Bayou Bengals are supposed to be down a few pegs this year?

Tommy Tuberville is promising a new kind of spread, though, like the West Coast Offense in the NFL, every contending college team must now pledge fealty to the spread while telling you how theirs is really much different from everyone else's. Pick a quarterback -- the assumption has been that Kodi Burns is the front-runner, but Chris Todd is coming on strong -- and Auburn should be able to take off offensively. This is the year for Ben Tate, who rushed for 903 yards and 8 TDs last year, to emerge as a legitimate top-notch SEC back. (Having plans B and C like Brad Lester and Mario Fannin doesn't exactly hurt.) We might find out how good the WRs are now that they look to have a competent passer on the other end of the throws.

Seven starters return to a defense ranked 6th in the country (and 2nd in the SEC) last year, allowing 297.9 ypg. The only major loss is Patrick Lee, with 10 passes broken up and four INTs. Antonio Coleman brings back his 8.5 sacks.

And Tuberville is known for getting the best out of his teams. He's the only coach in recent memory to go undefeated in the SEC and not win a national title, though the Auburn faithful are hopeful that that could change retroactively. Not winning the West will be a disappointment. SBN Blog: Track 'Em Tigers

9. Texas Tech
When I began this exercise, I was skeptical about the buzz surrounding the Red Raiders. After all, isn't this the same Texas Tech team that always has a video game offense and no defense to speak of. Isn't this the same squad that loses games 59-43, 49-45 and so on?

Well, technically, yes. But this year could be different. While the national defensive numbers weren't impressive in 2007, Texas Tech was among the top three in the conference in scoring, pass efficiency and total defense. The rushing numbers, 177.0 ypg, were abysmal, but the defensive line is just as deep and experienced this year as it was young and green last year. The only major losses are leading tackler SS Joe Garcia, pass break-up machine CB Chris Parker and LB Paul Williams.

And the offense is exactly what you've come to expect from Texas Tech: They will pass early and pass often. QB Graham Harrell comes back after a 5,705-yard, 48-TD campaign. WR Michael Crabtee returns with his 1,962 receiving yards and 22 scores. Of course, this being Texas Tech, you would like to see more running. The Red Raiders have topped 100 ypg just twice in the last six years; last year, Texas Tech picked up 59 ground yards a contest.

The schedule is manageable. The only mildly interesting contest in September is Nevada, and it's hard to argue that Texas Tech won't be 6-1 or (more likely) 7-0 before a three-week stretch that includes at Kansas, Texas, and Oklahoma State. A bye week comes before the likely division-defining showdown at Oklahoma on Nov. 22. SBN Blog: Double-T Nation

10. LSU
The Bengals are one of those teams that you almost have to rank every year by dent of their talent. (Yes, I'm trying to avoid a sentence using the words "rebuild" or "reload." Oops.) Nick Saban put the program on auto-recruit several years ago, and it's stayed there through the early successes of the Les Miles year.

But Miles looks fall a few salt-water taffy pieces short of the SEC West crown this year. Auburn is also loaded, and LSU loses Matt Flynn, Jacob Hester and Early Doucet on offense and Craig Steltz, Ali Highsmith, Glenn Dorsey, Jonathan Zenon and Chavis Jackson on defense. At least they have Ryan Perrilloux coming back to handle the quarterback duties. What's that you say? Oh. Well.

Coach is talking to me. Blah blah blah. How much did I lose on Hold 'Em last night?

But, again, it's LSU. They can almost glide to nine wins, right? With the schedule they have -- maybe. The first three games should be wins, particularly since the Tigers won't overlook Appalachian State after the Mountaineers' win at the Big House. (ASU-Michigan mention No. 2.)

The first challenge is the annual bizarreness known as the Auburn game, played Sept. 20 this year on the Plains. But that begins a five-game stretch that also includes Mississippi State (Sept. 27), at Florida (Oct. 11), at South Carolina (Oct. 18), and Georgia (Oct. 25). It's not hard to see LSU sitting at 5-3 after that. But the season ends with Tulane, Alabama, Mississippi and at Arkansas. More than one loss among those teams would be stunning.

If LSU wins all the games they should and pulls out one of the Auburn-Florida-Georgia tandem, they're set up for a 10-2 season. Just another year in the Bayou. SBN Blog: And the Valley Shook

Standing in the west stands of Williams-Brice on that cold November night, having watched South Carolina just take a 21-20 lead on a Blake Mitchell TD pass to Dion Lecorn, I muttered a simple plea to the team I'd followed devotedly for eight seasons: "Don't screw this up."

Not ten feet above me, a beat-writer friend who had cheered for South Carolina even longer turned to his colleague from The Gamecock and said, "If they don't find a way to screw this up, I'll buy you a case of beer tomorrow. And I'll do it with a smile on my face."

Across town, another college friend watched the results during a concert at the Art Bar. "They're going to screw this up," she said.

Three people, in different locations, all South Carolina fans, knew the unstoppable force of Gamecock history made it almost certain that this team stood on the cusp of glory, of salvaging a crumbling season -- but would screw it up.

Of course, they did.

With Clemson down to a last-ditch third-and-18, two passes gave the Tigers a first down. Another, and they were in field goal range. Unlike 2006, when an unlikely block sealed the South Carolina victory, there were no heroes to rise up and change inevitable. Clay Buchholz' kick sailed through the uprights. The season was over.

This is the last installment of a review I began months ago. Because of distractions, it kept getting put off. Because of distractions, and an unwillingness to do it. There are no real incentives for reviewing the last nausea-inducing chapters of an epic collapse.

Except that I stand in the middle of previewing a season, and realize that to really, truly move forward, you have to come to grips with what happened before.

And so, here is the fourth and final part of Up In Smoke.

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