South Carolina reported 22 secondary rules violations during the past year, according to a release obtained by the The Associated Press. Each of the infractions occurred between Aug. 1, 2013 to July 31, 2014 and seven of them were committed by the football team.
The good news for South Carolina is that the Gamecocks got off with minimal punishment. The good news for us, the people of the internet, is that the violations are mostly hilarious.
One infraction from last winter involved impermissible iced decorations on a cookie cakes given to prospects.
Hey kid, want a cookie cake? Go for it, buddy. You've earned it ... Whoa, hold on. What the ... What are you putting on top of that cookie cake? STEP AWAY FROM THE COOKIE CAKE AND PUT YOUR IMPERMISSIBLE ICED DECORATIONS WHERE I CAN SEE THEM.
Another occurred when the team laid out trophies and jerseys on a table inside the locker room, which is against NCAA rules since trophies aren't generally in locker rooms.
Trophies aren't generally in locker rooms, huh? Is this a troll? It feels like a troll.
A football violation took place when a prospect attended spring practice and took a picture with a former South Carolina player currently in the NFL. NCAA rules say the coaching staff should not have allowed the prospective player to interact with the former Gamecock.
Now this one is inexcusable. Every coach gets into the profession to prevent interactions between prospects and NFL players. Such a conversation could turn into something as terrible as the dispensation of valuable career advice. The horror.
The most severe punishment came when an assistant coach sent an impermissible text and the entire coaching staff was sent to their room without dinner and placed on phone restriction.
The harshest penalty came from a July 2013 case of a football assistant wrongly texting a junior prospect. That coach was prevented from calling any prospect for two weeks and the entire coach staff was told not to telephone the prospect involved for 60 days from when rules allowed them to call.
South Carolina is still on probation as a result of the NCAA investigation that began with The Whitney Hotel incident in 2010. It doesn't appear, however, that these violations were serious enough to warrant further punishment.