The Head Ball Coach

Steve Spurrier is the Head Ball Coach of the South Carolina Gamecocks and a very entertaining person.

Watch Spurrier's introductory press conference

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As Steve Spurrier gets set to enter his second decade as South Carolina's head football coach, let's look back on his introductory press conference from Nov. 23, 2004.

Watch the trailer for the Spurrier documentary

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Should we be worried about the Steve Spurrier documentary? This can't possibly be mishandled, right?

Spurrier to Jesse Palmer: Dylan Thompson is not as pretty as you

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OK, let's take stock of what has just transpired. Spurrier threw some serious shade on Palmer for the amount of attention he devotes to maintaining his good looks by calling him "prettier" than Dylan Thompson. Here, "pretty" is distinct from "attractive" in that it qualifies his appearance with a degree of femininity. While perhaps not the most forward-thinking insult Spurrier has ever dished out, this is still highly effective shade in the context of a 69-year-old man comparing two football players. In a single stroke, both Palmer and Thompson can consider themselves knocked down a peg, and that's why what Steve Spurrier does should be considered art.

Spurrier remains undefeated at Media Day

The Head Ball Coach once again put on the most entertaining performance of the SEC coaches assembled in Hoover for SEC Media Days.

If Steve Spurrier were on the cover of the ESPN 'body' issue

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Check out more of Kev Roche's excellent work at Kev Draws and follow him on Twitter at @kevROSHAY.

Let's look at the stuff in Steve Spurrier's office

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There's a rooster statue, or perhaps just a shiny rooster.

Steve Spurrier isn't the best with technology

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As you might have guessed, the Head Ball Coach has not devoted much time to learning how to access mobile-friendly #content.

Spurrier celebrates birthday while wearing festive hat

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It's simultaneously frustrating and beautiful that the iPhone photographer didn't tap the area on his screen where Spurrier's face is. This would have refocused the photo on the Head Ball Coach rather than that patio chair in the foreground. As it is, we have a busy scene with relatives showering Spurrier with attention while Steve himself looks unamused, as if the big picture of getting older and eventually dying just hit him. At least he agreed to wear the hat on his 69th birthday.

Steve Spurrier talks Jadeveon Clowney, NFL Draft on The Dan Patrick Show

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Steve Spurrier called in to The Dan Patrick Show on Thursday to share his thoughts on Merril Hoge's hot take about Jadeveon Clowney being an "atrocious" football player and what make some quarterbacks better suited for success in the NFL than others. The HBC also awkwardly alludes to a job that was offered to him four or five years ago.

Spurrier's first Tennessee jab of 2014

The first trollin' of spring is here.

Steve Spurrier speaks after final spring practice

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Steve Spurrier talks about his trip to Augusta, Ga. for The Masters and reveals that the off-the-bench pass-catcher will be a local celebrity. He didn't have much to say (or to be asked about, apparently) regarding the football practice that just happened.

HBC's Post-Practice Comments, via Google Translate

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"Well known starter is not important at this time."

Spurrier nicknames TE after Burt Reynolds show

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The Head Ball Coach's method for remembering the names of some of his players offers another window into his unique psychological makeup.

Steve Spurrier regrets he cannot attend your wedding

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A couple sent Steve Spurrier a save the date for their August 16 wedding. Coach seems to respond in his autograph that he cannot attend, but leaves himself some wiggle room. Props to the HBC for recognizing that he should inform the couple as soon as possible that he won't make it so they can save money or send invitations to the "alternate" guests. Kudos to this woman for both inviting Spurrier to her wedding, as well as scheduling it for two weeks before football season. August 16 leaves you time to get married, have a honeymoon, and make it back to Columbia in time for our August 28 kickoff against Texas A&M.

Spurrier reveals identity as interstellar war lord

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The Head Ball Coach reached into his bag of tricks and pulled out a CLASSIC April Fools prank.

S.C. assembly passes resolution honoring Spurrier

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The South Carolina General Assembly did a good job of writing down some things that Steve Spurrier has done recently.

BEHOLD THE HBC HAND TAT

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After all, Spurrier's always been the master of backhanded compliments

The South Carolina Recruiting Constellation

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HBC's got a strategy.

HBC's signing day presser, via Google Translate

"We are very happy with these players and arrows."

Spurrier hails top 10 ranking, wins over Clemson

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At halftime of the Carolina basketball team's game against Ole Miss, Steve Spurrier gave the fans and recruits in attendance a nice summary of the 2013 football team's accomplishments.

BOT Approves Raise for Spurrier

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Ball Coach grows ever richer.

The Steve Spurrier Butthead Cup

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Adventures in weird eBay finds.

Spurrier responds to Dabo's BCS bowl comment

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The best thing about Dabo saying something ridiculous is that Steve Spurrier is almost certainly going to react to it.

Jeff Long subtweets Steve Spurrier

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The Arkansas athletics director and College Football Playoff selection committee member took to Twitter to throw some serious shade at Steve Spurrier for laughing off Jadeveon Clowney's most recent...

Steve Spurrier's weekly press conference

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During his press conference on Tuesday, the Head Ball Coach updated the media on Mike Davis' health, opened the floor for debate on a proposed nickname for the South Carolina-Clemson rivalry, and...

HBC's Postgame Comments via Google Translate

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Spurrier's postgame comments, translated to various languages and back to English.

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