satire Stories - Garnet And Black Attack
In defense of panic: hey, it beats nothing
The reality of the Steven Stamkos situation in one excessively long sentence is as follows: If the Tampa Bay Lightning don't sign the 21-year-old center, who has scored more goals (96) than anybody else in the NHL the last two years, before noon on Friday, July 1st, he will become a restricted free...
A Response to the Stamkos Talks: An Open Letter to Steve Yzerman
Dear Mr. Yzerman, As fans of the Tampa Bay Lightning, it has become clear to us that when it comes to matters regarding a new contract for Steven Stamkos, you're simply not trying. Let's be honest, negotiating contracts with budding young superstars is probably the easiest thing on the planet, and...
Mizzou Home Game Promotions for the Upcoming Athletic Year
No one does promotions quite like minor league baseball. The Lake Elsinore Storm made a name for themselves earlier in the year with their Sheenco de Mayo celebration. This entrepreneurial spirit is echoed around the country, as evidenced by Akron Aero's Ship Out Lebron Night, the Arkansas...
Conference Suggestions for Mizzou Fans in NCAA Football 12
It's not much of a secret that many of us here at Rock M Nation are avid fans of EA Sports' NCAA Football franchise. It is for that exact reason that this article from IGN has us quite excited for NCAA Football 12, especially the following feature: When you setup a Dynasty, you have control like...
The Lightning-Bruins Drinking Game
As you may have heard, the Tampa Bay Lightning are doing quite well in the playoffs this year, and as a result, closet and fairweather fans from around the continent will be coming out to watch the Eastern Conference Finals in their local watering holes, or maybe over at their friend's house...
Seth Greenberg Not Invited to Annual Conspiracy Theorists Convention
Despite a strong showing in 2010-11, Virginia Tech's Seth Greenberg was not among the 68 conspiracy theorists invited to the National Conspiracy Theorists Association Convention. The convention, held every year at the Des Moines Airport Marriott, brings together only those whose theories have...
Nebraska Hires Ari Fleischer To Handle Football Media Relations
Ari Fleischer served as White House Press Secretary under George W Bush and has since consulted with several sports-related organizations. The University of Nebraska has announced the hiring of Ari Fleischer to take over football media relations beginning the spring of 2011. The move...
Steven Seagal: Inventor of the Front Kick and Time Machine
Following Anderson Silva's epic knock out victory over Vitor Belfort at UFC 126, the media was buzzing about the fantastic kick that lead to the finish. Fans around the world were in awe as Silva lifted his left leg, and extended his foot to the jaw of his challenger, dropping him as a result. ...
Guest Post: Ron Swanson and the Pyramid of Greatness
Today, we're thrilled to present a submission from our guest poster, Ron Swanson. Take it away, Ron. Hello, my name is Ron Swanson, and you may recognize me as the burly gentleman from the NBC documentary on the Parks Department in the town of Pawnee, Indiana. Most recently, you may have seen me...
Dinner at Big Bill's: A Questionable Allegory in One Act
We writers often delude ourselves into believing that since we have the capability to type faster than the average chimpanzee, our writing acumen thus qualifies us to excel at any written discipline. In that spirit, I decided that I would try my hand at a one-act play. I'm thinking of taking it to...
Certain photos copyright © 2012 by Associated Press or Getty Images. Any commercial use or distribution without the express written consent of Associated Press and Getty Images is strictly prohibited.
