Oh, this is a fool's errand, I'm afraid, after what happened with Appy State. But I've made a habit of doing this (except for the first week of the season, when nothing is predictable), so away we go. As always, the South Carolina game is held out for next week and the picks are limited to games involving at least one team in the BlogPoll Top 25.
Oh, and since I usually do this on Thursday or Friday, only Saturday games are considered.
No. 3 West Virginia at Marshall
Marshall got shredded by a run-heavy Miami offense that couldn't throw the ball particularly well. What happens when they go up against Pat White, Steve Slaton, et al? Blood. Gore. Terrifying violence.
West Virginia 48, Marshall 3
Miami at No. 4 Oklahoma
Part of me wants to UPSET ALERT this game, but I don't think it will happen. Oklahoma will suffer a close one, I will again argue (to no effect) that the Sooners are overrated, and they will chug along to a disastrous meltdown against some team that's a bit better than the Hurricanes.
Oklahoma 31, Miami 28
Akron at No. 11 Ohio State
First Youngstown State, and now this? Have you no shame, Jim Tressel? This should really be investigated by the Civil Rights Division at the Justice Department. We do still have one of those, right?
Ohio State 56, Akron 10
No. 14 Nebraska at Wake Forest
It's looking more and more like Wake was a pretender last year, and all they have to look forward to is the inevitable upset of Clemson. That said, they're at home in this game, so it shouldn't be a total blowout.
Nebraska 28, Wake Forest 10
Louisiana-Monroe at No. 23 Clemson
Letdown? Yes, but not that much. Even Clemson can beat La-Monroe. I think.
Clemson 48, La-Monroe 12
Samford at No. 19 Georgia Tech
Gaileyball couldn't prevent the Jackets from putting the beatdown on Notre Dame. Even Gailey can't screw this one up. You would think.
Georgia Tech 34, Samford 0
No. 7 California at Colorado State
Again, Cal is in for a touch of a letdown after the big game against Tennessee. But you would think they can still dispose of Colorado State relatively easily.
Cal 34, Colorado State 13
N.C. State at No. 25 Boston College
BC is good. N.C. State isn't. BC players have a former coach to impress. N.C. State doesn't. This could be over by halftime.
Boston College 36, N.C. State 10
No. 22 Boise State at Washington
We now know that Washington probably isn't going to be dreadful, though its record might look that way. I'm not sure Boise State is going to be that great. Closer than you might think, but the Broncos should win in the end.
Boise State 24, Washington 21
No. 24 Oregon at Michigan
Michigan is mad, but Brian makes a persuasive case that the problems on D against Appy State could lead to similar problems against Oregon. But it's still the Big House, and you've got to believe that Michael Hart will get 50 carries even if he has to rip the ball out of Chad Henne's hands on a would-be play fake. I just can't pull the trigger for Michigan right now until they show they can win.
Oregon 24, Michigan 23
Troy at No. 5 Florida
Potential upset, though only if potential is "somewhere between 20 percent and 100 percent." More likely, just another hapless team to get pounded and wonder, "Who was that well-shaved Sasquatch that ran us over?" That, sirs, was Tim Tebow.
Florida 38, Troy 13
You try bringing him down on the option.
Notre Dame at No. 13 Penn State
Wow. This could get really ugly. Notre Dame and Michigan both head into their rivalry tilt with 0-2 records. What universe are we in?
Penn State 35, Notre Dame 3
UPSET ALERT BYU at No. 15 UCLA
It's time for a market correction for Dorrell's boys. They've gotten way up in the polls, so here comes the annual "What the h*ll just happened?" loss. This is as good a spot as any.
BYU 24, UCLA 21
No. 21 TCU at No. 9 Texas
Now that it's Week 2, I will brutalize Texas if they fall to TCU, as a lot of folks will probably call for them to do. This is a good in-state match-up, but the Horned Frogs get edged by the Horns.
Texas 21, TCU 13
No. 20 Hawaii at Louisiana Tech
This ought to be a joke, but it's on the mainland, so it will just be Jerry Lewis talking about gay people -- not funny, and more uncomfortable than it should be until a quick move to clean up the mess.
Hawaii 49, Louisiana Tech 23
Did I ever tell you the one about the QB who carried a manpurse?
South Florida at No. 16 Auburn
If this weren't on the Plains, I'd call for the upset. Auburn inspires yet another round of cardiac episodes across the state of Alabama, but pulls it out in the end.
Auburn 24, South Florida 18
No. 12 Virginia Tech at No. 2 LSU
LSU starts off in the hole, seeing as how Sean Glennon, for all his faults, is unlikely to throw six interceptions. But the offense was largely held in check by East Carolina(!), and there's no reason to believe that a better LSU defense at home at night shouldn't be able to do the same.
LSU 24, Virginia Tech 14
No. 6 Wisconsin at UNLV
I'll make...my pick...once...I stop...laughing...
Wisconsin 48, UNLV 0