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A Lighter Shade of Garnet: Bye Week Plans

Ah, the bye week. The one Saturday of the college football season when we as fans can enjoy a full slate of games without any of the stress that comes with watching our own. But what about the players and coaches?

Joe Robbins

It's the bye week, y'all! As has been discussed, it couldn't have fallen at a better time. Our squad is banged up and we're coming off a brutal stretch. As fans, we get to take in a hearty slate of games (including Bama v. LSU and Southern Cal v. Oregon) without any Gamecock related stress or anxiety.

But what about our heroes in Garnet and Black? Amidst months of intense focus and preparation, surely they'll embrace the one Saturday in 13 they'll have to themselves. Here's how some select Gamecocks' bye week activities will shake out:

  • Itching to return something, Ace Sanders finds a lane into the Thomas Cooper library, stops on a dime at the computer stations, cuts left past the periodicals, shakes a grad student, and streaks to the counter to unload a few overdue books.
  • Dylan Thompson pulls in a double shift of street preaching outside the Russell House.
  • Bored and restless, Jadeveon Clowney sacks a hydrangea bush.
  • Steve Spurrier sneaks down to Kiawah for a round at the Ocean Course, just like every Saturday.
  • Busta Anderson sleeps til noon, is somehow credited with a touchdown.
  • Josh Kendall is spotted rifling through Kenny Miles' trash, publishes "What Players Eat on Bye Weeks" feature behind Gamecocks Central paywall.
  • DJ Swearinger visits the Riverbanks Zoo, talks trash to a koala.
  • Connor Shaw is ejected from a pick-up ultimate frisbee game after repeatedly taking off running instead of throwing it downfield.
  • TJ Johnson spends a little quality time with his grandchildren.
  • Wammy Ward plays NCAA 2013 on X-Box live, and is totally that annoying guy who blitzes 7 every time.
  • Byron Jerideau finally Netflixes Arrested Development, insists on playing the remainder of the season while painted blue.
  • An immobile Marcus Lattimore probably has a great time with friends and family and laughs a lot and writes to sick children and GAH WHY GOD WHY MARCUS ITS NOT FAIR
  • A timid Akeem Auguste, clad in a full suit of medieval armor, tiptoes gingerly to the corner store for some eggs, taking care not to expose himself to any unnecessary dangers or risks, nearly making it back home before falling into a sinkhole.
  • Devin Taylor sits expressionless in his living room until Monday when he leaves for class.
  • Searching for answers, a confused Bruce Ellington strolls the river walk at sunset, contemplating why fans insist on booing him every time he catches the ball.
  • Gamecock Radio announcer Andy Demetra kicks back and commentates games he's watching on TV, and I'd be shocked if he doesn't actually do this.

Enjoy the bye week, folks!

(Programming Note: Our Digital Season returns next week. I know I said I'd do a stats comparison this week, but it turned out to be a massively uninteresting endeavor. Who'da thunk!?)