Location: Billy B
Day: Oct. 5, 2013
Time: 7:30 PM
Line: South Carolina -21, O/U 54
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p>Uniform Report: Garnet Top, White Pants <a href="https://twitter.com/search?q=%23PowerInPink&src=hash">#PowerInPink</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/search?q=%23GamecockFootball&src=hash">#GamecockFootball</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/search?q=%23ToTheTop&src=hash">#ToTheTop</a> <a href="http://t.co/I0OfZcbaWx">pic.twitter.com/I0OfZcbaWx</a></p>— GamecockEquipment (@GamecockEquip) <a href="https://twitter.com/GamecockEquip/statuses/385430217491480576">October 2, 2013</a></blockquote>
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Hey, where the hell were you last week? I frequently had questions to ask.
I was galavanting through the woods of western North Carolina. I assure you, I was crushed to have left you hanging.
I don't believe you, but I'll forgive you. So anyway, are we gonna beat Kentucky?
ONLY A SITH DEALS IN ABSOLUTES. But, prolly.
Kentucky's just not every good. A couple of choice statistical rankings: last in the SEC in scoring offense, 11th in offensive yards per game, 12th in rush yards allowed, last in 3rd down conversions. They've also yet to play a true road game. Their one game away from Lexington was a neutral site loss to Western Kentucky. They don't have a reliable starting quarterback. Kentucky may have some serious talent in the pipeline, but 2013 should continue to be a long year for the Wildcats.
You've made a case for them being bad, but why should I believe that we're good enough to avoid another stressful affair on Saturday evening?
While I didn't explicitly say that, there a couple of reasons this week's game could be a low-stress affair for the viewer with Gamecock rooting interests. First of all, it's worth noting that our defense hasn't underachieved to the degree that most seem to think it has. In fact, it's so worth noting that ChickenHoops noted it. As you'll read in his piece, Kentucky represents the first of our 2013 opponents that is not a top 50 offense. Some ugly chokes here and there have yielded big yardage plays, but we're still leading the league in tackles for loss and are 6th in total yards allowed.
What's Connor Shaw's status?
Self-healer and cleared to start, apparently. Spurrier insists that Connor's 100% and practicing well, and that he'll get the keys on Saturday. But look for Angel Boi Swagg to take the offense for a spin at some point in the first half, as we saw him do against Vanderbilt. And if the game gets ugly, might we even get our first look at third string QB Brendan "Freak Nosty" Nosovitch? Remember, it was against these Wildcats two years ago when then-freshman Dylan Thompson scored a touchdown in garbage time. Also, that was Garcia's last game in a USC uniform and he didn't even play :(
I'm dogsitting for my rabbi this weekend. Is HBC going to be upset if I have to leave early to let him out?
Are you a graduate or non-enrolled fan? Not at all—you've got a life to live. Ball Coach understands. Are you a student? YES HE'LL BE UPSET. That student ticket was free and you have no real obligations or responsibilities! Stay and support your classmates, sing the alma mater, and then go get hammered. Or feed your rabbi's dog. (Or both!)
Speaking of Spurrier and getting hammered, I was curious about—
NO! No. Just stop. I don't wanna stoke what are, hopefully, dying embers of a non-story that wasn't really handled all that well by our Athletic Department. However,in the interest of A'ing Q's that are F A'd, here is a write-up about the Deadspin article and here is why Connor thinks this is all just really stupid.
That's OK, I'm more of a stimulant guy anyway. Speaking of which, was Shaq Roland poppin' addy?
Violating university policy is the official word, but there is at least one report that links Roland's suspension to Adderall use. Roland will miss the next two contests.
Does Shaq's absence have #BBN thinking upset?
Get me in the mood for this game via a bouncing bluegrass tune about Kentucky.
The Louvin Brothers have you covered:
<iframe width="420" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/7hqqb2OHkEQ" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
Great. Now round out the equation with a classic folk ballad set in South Carolina.
Sure! Try Gillian Welch and David Rawlings covering Gram Parsons' "Hickory Wind" on for size:
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By the way, how'd Our Digital Season go? It was totally wrong last week.
And aren't you thankful? But let's hope it's not the case this week, as digi-South Carolina didn't have much trouble with the DigiCats.
I'm going to level with you: I scrolled past all that stuff you just wrote. Like, all of it. I don't really like reading things, TBH. Can I listen to a Kentucky preview, instead?
Sigh...OK. Here's Connor and me talking Kentucky, all the while in danger of being charged with a PUI (podcasting under the influence).
Thanks, I'll go listen and maybe even leave a review on iTunes. I know you guys love when people do that.
We do! Thanks very much.
I didn't say it'd be a good review.
This FAQ session is over.
Feel free to leave any other Frequently (or Infrequently) Asked Questions in the comments section, and one of our fine writing staff (or, failing that, I) will happily address it.