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Steve Spurrier gets raise

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Noted state employee Steve Spurrier
Noted state employee Steve Spurrier
Al Messerschmidt

According to a report by Josh Kendall and David Cloninger of The State, the University of South Carolina Board of Trustees approved a $700,000 raise for head coach Steve Spurrier on the heels of a third consecutive 11-2 season. Spurrier is now the 9th highest-paid head coach in the country. Expect staff raises to ensue. Speaking of the staff, here's Cloninger doing some serious prenatal chicken counting:

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>Also the first year under Spurrier that the football staff will remain intact. Been at least one change in every season.</p>&mdash; David Cloninger (@DCTheState) <a href="https://twitter.com/DCTheState/statuses/423460729564327936">January 15, 2014</a></blockquote>

<script async src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

Well, let's hope so. Anyway, below is a list of things Spurrier can buy with $700,000:

- 2,000 peak season tee times at the Ocean Course

- 5,263 50-yard-line tickets to the 2014 Orange Bowl (retroactive)

- 70,000 Butthead Cups

- 41,176 exercise balls

- 184,697 Arby's Beef 'n Cheddar Classics

- 7,000 cutouts of Dabo Swinney drinking a Coke

Garnet and Black Attack has learned of unconfirmed reports indicating that Spurrier was offered the choice of one $700,000 raise or two $300,000 raises. He opted for the former, adding:

<iframe class="vine-embed" src="https://vine.co/v/hw5qVDWpt20/embed/simple" width="600" height="600" frameborder="0"></iframe><script async src="//platform.vine.co/static/scripts/embed.js" charset="utf-8"></script>