South Carolina state senate passes resolution honoring Bruce Ellington, we guess what it might've said

The South Carolina state senate recognized Bruce Ellington's scholastic and athletic achievements at the University of South Carolina by passing a resolution in his honor.

Former #Gamecocks star Bruce Ellington poses with Sen. Katrina Shealy after the Senate gave him a resolution pic.twitter.com/QGwet6zi4M

— Andy Shain (@AndyShain) March 4, 2014

Garnet And Black Attack was granted exclusive access to the text of the resolution.

Whereas Bruce Ellington served as a fine ambassador of our state, garnering unanimous praise and admiration even when ripping out the hearts of men from other American states;

Whereas Bruce Ellington demonstrated uncommon courage and self-sacrifice by entering a voluntary agreement to play basketball for Darrin Horn;

Whereas Bruce Ellington's college career is filled with examples of him doin' balling-ass shit, like throwing a touchdown pass and catching two more IN THE SAME DAMN GAME;

Whereas this whole charade is a pretty poor use of taxpayer money, to be honest, but at least we're passing a silly resolution instead of homophobic legislation;

Whereas BRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCE;

Whereas this is going to be super awkward for the Clemson graduates in the Senate, given his three touchdown catches and wins over the flagship university's little brother;

Whereas Bruce Ellington is a paragon of physical fitness, making him an ideal mating partner as we look toward the continuation and betterment of our species;

Whereas Bruce Ellington is a native of Monck's Corner which is a ridiculous name for a town if you think about it;

Whereas Bruce Ellington is of kin to current NFL player Andre Ellington and yes this is just an excuse to link this;

Now, therefore, be it resolved that primary schools throughout the state of South Carolina shall be encouraged to adopt an Ellington-based curriculum that recognizes Bruce Ellington as the creator of Heaven and Earth.

all in favor say go cocks RT @AndyShain: Cheers of Bruuuuce in the state Senate as Bruce Ellington gets a resolution. pic.twitter.com/410D2uKLZ1

— Violence (@PhilKenSaban) March 4, 2014

The "Go Cocks" have it.