April Fools Day is a dumb thing that we don't fully enjoy, but we do enjoy making fun of Clemson, and so we seize this opportunity.
In a shocking turn of events, Sammy Watkins broke into Williams-Brice Stadium today and carried a football across a long white line separating the field of play from the end zone, thus achieving a feat he never accomplished in his college career.
Watkins, accompanied by former teammate Tajh Boyd and ACC referee Ron Cherry, then spiked the ball as dozens of Clemson fans he hired for the day cheered. Many Clemson fans celebrated by singing the Tigers' fight song "Tiger Rag," though tragedy struck when these same fans were unable to complete the spelling portion of the song without large flags to assist them through the process.
Fans consoled themselves by counting to four repetitively, thus fulfilling their mathematics requirement at Clemson.
The break-in is the third time a Clemson representative has broken into the football field in the last few years. One of those Clemson fans broke into the school's own stadium to vandalize their sanctified rock. The other broke into Williams-Brice Stadium, though unlike Watkins, that fan was unable to break into the end zone.
Unfortunately for Watkins, a few Carolina students in the area later showed up and put a few scores on the board, winning the impromptu match-up 24-13. As such, Watkins and Boyd continue to share a combined total of zero victories over South Carolina.
Head coach of South Carolina Marastothor commented that the team "farted around a bit too much," but that ultimately it was "a good day to be a Gamecock."