A List of Terrible Nicknames for Perry Orth

According to Steve Spurrier, South Carolina quarterback Perry Orth's nickname is "The Band Man". Because there is a country band called "The Band Perry". So, "The Band Man" just snaps right in.

No, that's some incredibly lazy wordplay that asks a lot of people who don't have context. "We call him The Band Man! Because of the Band Perry. Oh, also, his name is Perry." Too many steps; nickname is bad.

Here are some other bad nicknames for Perry Orth:

• "The Journeyman" -- Because Steve Perry was the lead singer of Journey. This is still a bad nickname, but at least it's actually a thing (unlike The Band Man) and pays homage to the fact Orth used to go to college in Florida.
• "The Orthodontist"
• "The Forth-o-downtist" -- this is certainly not a flattering nickname for a quarterback, but it's pretty fun to say.
• "Orth by Orthwest"
• "Throw Perry" -- An homage to Aerosmith's guitar player
• "Perry Publix^TM" -- because he worked at Publix. This bullet point is #spon
• "Orth-Perry Orth Ross"
• "The P.O. Box"
• "Orthgle Eye Perry"
• "The Perry Godm-Orth-er"