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Hey Folks! It’s Rhonda, and there is one thing you should know about me...I LOVE a good conspiracy: the moon landing, Area 51, the death of Elvis Presley, the lizard people that secretly control the world, etc. And this past weekend, a new conspiracy was exposed when we discovered the head ACC referee of the Clemson-Pitt game was a South Carolina graduate. With the rise McClemsonism and the Garnet Scare, I did an investigation of my own into the SC conspiracy. And folks, grab your tin foil hats, because this thing goes deeper than we could ever imagine! I am writing this article to expose the top Gamecocks that have been sent to infiltrate the masses and spread their anti-clemson agenda. Dabo and the Clemson football program may have already recovered from the loss, studied film, and made adjustments...but DO NOT BE FOOLED INTO A SENSE OF SECURITY! These gamecocks are out there...and they are coming for YOU! This brings a whole new meaning to #WETOODEEP.
Every highway patrolman that ever gave you a ticket.
Were you going 20mph over the speed limit? Sure. But we know the truth. They saw that tiger paw on the back of your car, and they knew they needed to get #ALLIN your business and ruin your perfect driving record.
Kenny Chesney
Sure, he may not be a South Carolina grad, but we all remember his celebrity appearance on College Gameday in 2014. He’s been spotted wearing gamecock attire AND he has played multiple concerts in Columbia. Worst of all, he is friends with STEVE SPURRIER. I have it on good authority, if you play one of his records backwards, it says “Clemson must lose” over and over again. STAY WOKE SHEEPLE, don’t let your children listen to his brainwashing gamecock music!
Every South Carolina Supreme Court Justice
That’s right! Every single one of the South Carolina Supreme Court justices studied at the University of South Carolina School of Law. “But there’s not a Clemson University School of Law,” you say...Well, that’s part of the conspiracy. Who knows how many anti-Clemson rulings these justices have made, and they have the ability to uphold anti-tiger legislation. We should all be very concerned.
Robert C. “Bob” McNair
Owner of the Houston Texans. Did he draft D.J. Reader, Ricky Sapp, and Nuk just to ruin their NFL careers??? Time will only tell. However, in the meantime, he is using the profits from those Hopkins jerseys to donate money to the University of South Carolina. That’s right folks, his recent 8 million dollar donation was funded by your love for your tigers.
The Scott Family
Look, I know the Scott family’s relationship with the University of South Carolina is no secret, and under Jeff Scott’s tutelage, Clemson wide receivers are having some of the the best performances in University history. BUT we cannot ignore the fact that the first three years of the five year Carolina winning streak happened when Brad Scott was still on the staff. Are Brad and Jeff foot soldiers in this garnet war on Clemson prosperity?? Just watch this commercial and decide for yourself.
DISCLAIMER -- This is satire. These people take their jobs very seriously and would never let personal bias take precedence over professionalism. Also, there is no such thing as anti-tiger legislation….or is there?