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Yes. We’ve reached peak SEC East.
- Alabama Crimson Tide - Nothing says ‘welcome to November’ like Alabama taking a potentially interesting football game and grinding it into a tasteless, colorless, odorless paste over the course of four hours.
- Auburn Tigers - Kamryn Pettway easily wins ‘best name’ on the Auburn roster. He’s also a standard deviation more talented than the rest of the Plainsmen-War Eagles-Tigers-Barners-Village People.
- LSU Tigers - Despite scoring no points against a suffocating Alabama Defense, the Bayou Bengals are a bonafide top-15 team, even if they do have former-Purdue-quarterback-turned-SEC-quarterback, Danny Etling, at the helm.
- Texas A&M Aggies - Last week y’all were pounding your chest after the playoff committee inexplicably placed you in fourth place in the ‘way too early’ playoff prediction. That was before y’all got beat by a Mississippi State team wearing special uniforms. THEY MUST BE CHEATIN’.
- Arkansas Razorbacks - Remember, remember, the fifth of NovemBERT.
- Florida Gators - Speaking of Purdue-quarterbacks-turned-SEC-quarterbacks, Florida is going to have to do without theirs after Luke Del Rio was injured during the game against Arkansas. It might actually help since the only thing he was really good at was throwing to the other team. Look for Florida to play phonebooth football next week against South Carolina.
- Ole Miss Rebels - RIP, Swag Kelly.
- Tennessee Volunteers - RIP, Jalen Hurd.
- Mississippi State Bulldogs - Enjoy your upset win over the Aggies. Next week you get to be ground into the odorless, tasteless, colorless paste.
- Georgia Bulldogs - Speaking of Purdue, UGA’s offensive coordinator Jim Chaney cut his teeth at Purdue. He’s, like, 9-32 as an offensive coordinator. How in the heck did South Carolina lose to this team?
- Kentucky Wildcats - HOW IN THE HECK DID SOUTH CAROLINA LOSE TO THIS TEAM.
- South Carolina Gamecocks - A ten-point win over a potentially dangerous Missouri offense was a comforting sign that things might actually work out for this team. Way to avoid the trap game, fellas.
- Vanderbilt Commodores - Played easily their best game of the season against Auburn, including an insane blocked field goal, but were ultimately denied what could have been an unreal upset win.
- Missouri Tigers -
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