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30 Days Until South Carolina Gamecocks Football: Three Guarantees for the Gamecocks in 2016

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I’m not big on guarantees, so here you go. Here’s three things you’re bound to see happen when the Gamecocks take a football field in 2016.

Kentucky v South Carolina Photo by Mary Ann Chastain/Getty Images

In the final piece of our three part edition (Yes, most of the time we can successfully count down from 90 and 60), we talk about three things that will definitely happen to Will Muschamp and his South Carolina team in 2016.

Well, they’ll probably happen. Maybe.

3. Will Muschamp will receive 2 unsportsmanlike conduct penalties. It won’t happen in the same game, so he’ll get to stick around, but if there’s one guy this rule’s made for, it’s him. So, he’s bound to stumble across the rocky road of insanity a couple of times this season and get flagged for it.

NCAA Football: Mississippi at Auburn Shanna Lockwood-USA TODAY Sports

We’ll be angered by this particularly frightening behavior at first, but will rationalize it through our affinity for scary eyes. After all, even Frank Martin had a few hiccups along the way, but we love him just the same.

2. South Carolina will reign victorious over this year’s FCS opponent. I know. You don’t wanna talk about it. Neither do I. So what, we lost to The Citadel. GET OVER IT!

Muschamp doesn’t want to acknowledge the past season of Gamecock football, but he doesn’t have to. He wasn’t here.

Shawn Elliott and the players still around won’t have forgotten come November 19th when Western Carolina makes way into town. Sorry Catamounts, it might not be your most enjoyable day in Columbia, but enjoy the $400,000.

1. The Gamecocks will go bowling. How you ask? By coming out of the gate playing FRESH, FAST and PHYSICAL. Duh.

It’ll take a minor miracle, but let’s be real, we’re due for one in this messed up world of college football where that orange and purple team contends for a national championship and their best player vies for a Heisman.

It’s not fair. Therefore, our team at least deserves a complimentary trip to Birmingham or Memphis. It’s only right. There’s six wins on that schedule, we just have to go out and find them.