THE OPTIMIST WISHES EVERYONE A HAPPY COLUMBUS DAY

Will Muschamp went down to Georgia lookin’ for a soul to steal, and it turns out that he came back with about 90,000 of them, after the South Carolina Gamecocks upset the Georgia bulldogs on Saturday. If you’re just now finding out about this, the optimist hopes that the time spent in prison was helpful for you.

Most USC fans probably don’t need much of a pep talk today, ‘cause let’s face it, the last time something ran through Georgia like that, Rhett and Scarlett were running away from it in a buggy. However, The Optimist realizes that some fans might not be so fortunate today, and he’s here to bring you some Holiday cheer:

• Vanderbilt fans, consider this, Columbus got lost, too, and look how things turned out for him? (except the syphilis, of course).
• Rodrigo Blankenship, it could be worse, Dabo probably would’ve drug you behind the bus going home.
• Speaking of Blank, the Akron Zips are 0-6. Maybe the next thing they can write down with that Takeaway pencil is ‘win a game’.
• Speaking of kicking and zeros, Wisconsin pitched their fourth shutout of the season. Maybe the Braves ought to give Jack Coan a call.
• Although, I guess if there is a fanbase that’s comfortable with zero, it’s Michigan State.
• Florida State’s offense gets any more disorganized and people might start confusing them for a Big Lots.
• Randy Edsall probably got another bonus despite UConn being 1-5. Is Bernie Madoff his attorney?
• Not a great week to be an Aggie, although it would be just like Texas A&M to start selling kidneys mid-season to pay for Jimbo’s buyout.
• Speaking of land-grant colleges, mighty fine of Joe Moorhead to fall on the landmine and accept that transitive loss to Georgia State.
• Twitter has no edit button and you’re never in a better mood after looking at it. Kinda like Art Briles.
• Speaking of an edit button, don’t you wish the AAC refs wish they had one? Yeah Memphis deserved to win, but you gotta admit that a game ending in a robbery is really on-brand for the town.
• Not even going there, Rutgers. You just hang in there.

Have a great week y’all!

DSGCTYW