Game day is here again! But let’s pretend this game day brought Gameday with it.
For the second week in a row I asked you to give me your best signs. Pretend ESPN’s College Gameday was headed to Columbia, Missouri.
Let’s lay it out. The screen shows a close up of a child with his face painted with yellow and black tiger stripes. Reese Davis says something about fans camping out to prove which is the superior Columbia. There’s a closeup of a man waving a Colombian flag. His buddy is holding a sign that says “This isn’t what I had in mind.” Reese says something about the Gamecocks and Tigers getting ready to settle the argument under the lights.
CUE Black Cowboy, Conventionally Attractive Guitar Girl, Mustached Stereotype and Cowboy Hatted Oaf
We pan the crowd for signs.
The Mizzou crowd has come ready to play.
As the show rolls on, Kirk Herbstriet mentions he is excited for today’s celebrity guest picker. Is it 1984 Mizzou grad and songwriter that only writes songs about sunshine, Sheryl Crow? 1993 Mizzou grad and professional handsome man Jon Hamm?
If we step off campus, the state of Missouri has some very famous residents and natives. There’s Walt Disney and Mark Twain in the artistic world. There's Harry Caray and Walter Cronkite in the world of journalism. Unfortunately, they’re all dead.
So, we’re going with the next best option, St. Charles resident and 13 time WWE champion Randy Orton!
Right before Randy comes to the stage, the camera pans around to find a small group of Gamecock fans that brought signs all the way from Twitter.
First, we spot our friends from Armchair All-Americans.
"DEFENSE...Buffering 0%" - with a loading bar drawn out below it #WheresTheDefense https://t.co/6TcGzbY4rh— Armchair S. Carolina (@ArmchairSCAR) September 7, 2017
Next we see Connor Tapp!
"Help"— Connor Tapp (@MeetMeAtTapps) September 7, 2017
Finally, all the way from Demetri’s cellphone, a former co-worker at ESPN 94.9 in Columbia that didn’t want to be identified.
So there you have it. If you want to get a jump on next week, here are some helpful facts about Kentucky.
- Tim Couch was an NFL Draft bust
- Senator Mitch McConnell is commonly believed to look like a turtle
- Blue grass is not actually blue
- Head Coach Mark Stoops is from Youngstown, Ohio, a city whose chief export is sadness
- Lexington is the first name of a famous male porn star