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THE MONDAY MORNING OPTIMIST IS BACK BABY

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did you know the human head weighs eight pounds?

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NCAA Football: Alabama at South Carolina Jeff Blake-USA TODAY Sports

There are a bunch of things we can all agree on: you should pay your taxes quarterly, you should rotate your tires every time you get your oil changed, Friends was *actually * not that funny, and ‘Bama is just gonna get the calls, y’all. It’s Canon. Live with it.

Despite those universal truths, which contributed to nine tenths of the reason why the South Carolina Gamecocks couldn’t overcome the Alabama Crimson Tide in what might’ve actually amounted to a bigger upset than the very fun and good game that happened nine years ago, there are still some very very positive things to take away from Saturday’s game. Yes there were some inexcusable mistakes both in the play calling and the score-a-touchdown department and yes we know that Rico Dowdle got totally robbed of seven points but all is not lost. The Gamecocks just ran out of gas at a really unfortunate time

Here are some positive takeaways from Saturday:

  • Despite the fact that Kyle Markway is a more timely holder than this guy, the Gamecocks still covered the spread AND they scored 23 points, which means you probably can get something free from Rush’s this week.
  • Guarantee you Nick Saban had to take at least four Immodium this morning and we bet it’s because the Gamecocks piled up more offense against the tide than any school not named Clemson in the past two years.
  • Bama kickers. Amirite?! Meanwhile, Parker White is a friggin’ legend. Speaking of which, dating all the way back to Courtney Leavitt, South Carolina is quietly building a tradition of ‘here’s where all the cool kickers go’.
  • Mark Berson still has a job for some reason. This is just a general comment about how you don’t have to be good at your job to be employed.
  • This thing is on sale right now.
  • On a slightly serious note, the newly-minted tradition of holding up three fingers in honor of Tyler Hilinski is probably the coolest new things in sports. Period.

See?!

There’s always something to be thankful for, even when your linebackers are on a constant loop getting blown up all over Sportscenter.