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Kenny Chesney will be the celebrity picker on 'College GameDay'

It's Kenny f*#&in Chesney

Ronald Martinez

South Carolina landed this weekend's Gameday, which is very exciting. Heck, the last couple times Fowler and the boys have come to town, we've earned a pair of the most celebrated best wins in program history. The Gameday crew always talks about how the Horseshoe is one of its favorite locations from which to broadcast, which is probably something they say about every place they go but it's still nice to hear.

One of the first questions that follows any gameday announcement is "Who's the guest picker?"  The invite usually goes to someone at least a cursory relevance to the program. Darius Rucker was the obvious choice for South Carolina last go-round, and no matter what you think of the guy's music I don't think you can find fault in his selection. Alumnus, legitimate fan, certainly a major name.

But outrage was the word this morning when it was announced that human sphynx cat Kenny Chesney would serve as South Carolina's guest picker. Chesney is generally considered to be a Volunteers fan and was the picker at a Gameday in Knoxville a few years back. As expected, the announcement was greeted with all the fanfare of a clap diagnosis:

These and the dozens of other tweets voicing displeasure at this selection echo a sentiment long fostered by Garnet and Black Attack. Campus has scarcely recovered from our last Chesney Chernobyl, and here we are bringing this Stetsoned dipshit non-fan back to recontaminate the area and undo whatever progress had been made in Chesney radiation halflife decay. This whole scenario feels even grimier when you realize Chesney's selection was based on his producing Spurrier doc The Believer for the SEC Network (owned by ESPN, of course.) Expect him to pander from the Gameday desk, "Ain't a place I'd ruther be than sittin' here with these fahn folks in Columbeeyer, South Currlina!" and then he'll swivel on his stack of telephone books and wave to throngs of college students who will have no choice but to go ballistic because of the television cameras and the alcohol.

Did the Gamecocks condone this, or were they simply told, "Hi, you get the Drake of the SEC" by Gameday brass? I had to know:

You'll note one of those three favs is @GamecocksOnline. I take this as a tacit admission. Our marketing department is far from infallible, but no way they do this without significant heat from Gameday.

Even Tennessee fans are trying to distance themselves:

Please note: Clemson's most recent Gameday picker was Charleston resident Bill Murray. We've beaten Clemson in many things lately, but head-to-head? Big, big win for the Tigers.

Oh, and Brad Scott will be in town, too! Can this get any worse? Maybe! Here's a comprehensive list of less desirable candidates than Kenny Chesney for South Carolina's gameday picker: