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Restaurant names wrap after Jadeveon Clowney, is not allowed to name wrap after Jadeveon Clowney

Sweet lord can we please start playing football

Imagine he's holding a wrap.
Imagine he's holding a wrap.
Kevin C. Cox

The Daniel Island Grille, a Charleston-area restaurant located in the Stepfordian bedroom community that serves as its namesake, is under fire for naming food after Jadeveon Clowney, as well as Tajh Boyd and Sammy Watkins.

This blogger's been to The DIG plenty of times. It's a fairly typical sports bar that, yes, names all its entrees after notable athletes, some of whom are locally relevant. There are dishes named for Steve Spurrier, Dabo Swinney, and Jacket Leggett. Other athletes after whom food items have been named: Tom Brady, Andy Pettite, and Kerri Strug. Yes, you can scarf down Kerri Strug chicken spring rolls as you recall her heroic springs and rolls. There's also an Ichiro Suzuki Asian salad, because he's Asian.

At any rate, you can't sell food named after current NCAA athletes, so the restaurant has agreed rename the items. You can come out of your bunkers now. Hey since this is a really stupid story, let's make a list of food items named for various Gamecock athletes:

Dylan Thompson "Cheesus Is My Flavior" spiced mozerella sticks

— Rory Anderson's "Belt Busta" double cheeseburger

— The Marcus Lattimore "Slaw Definitely" Chili Dog

— The Stephen Garcia Burger, which you ingest via beer bong, and is beer

— Stephon Gills-more Seafood Platter

— Jimmy Legreen Eggs and (Victor) Ham(pton) Cornerback Breafkast Combo

— The Ace Sanders "Chicken Ace-adilla": ("Unlike Ace, you won't return it!")

— Brandon Shells and Cheese

— Joey Pankake Waffles: "Because screw Mike Patrick."

— Kaiwan Lewis Cake: ("You'll line up for it!")

— The Frank Martin Salad: "it is good 4 u"

— The Jadeveonchillada: "Stuffed with strip steak spiced with a limited edition Clowney Cumin, and drizzled in our housemade 'Tajh's Tears' salsa verde. Served in a sack."

— Jungle Boi's Personal Fowl Sandwich: "A chicken filet so good, it's worth the fifteen yards!"

As always, feel free to add your own suggestion in the comments section, and remember: just 11 days until we can quit paying attention to this sort of thing.