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Let's look at the stuff in Steve Spurrier's office

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A recruit posted a picture with Spurrier, taken in the HBC's dojo. Let's snoop around!

David Manning-USA TODAY Sports

Steve Spurrier's football career, spanning back to his days as a wily STUDENT-athlete in Gainesville, has yielded many a talisman. Today, RB recruit Bradrick Shaw and his family visited Columbia and met with Spurrier in his office.


This photograph offers a rare glimpse into the Hater's Dojo. Let's play "I Spy" and review the odds and ends cluttering the HBC's lair. We'll begin with the top shelf, starting at the left.

1. Duke Helmet and football with "Duke 21 Clemson 17" written on the side

As we all know, Spurrier's first collegiate head coaching gig was in Durham in the late 80s. In 1989, he led the Blue Devils to their first ACC title in 27 years. That year, Duke upset #7 Clemson. Ostensibly, the pictured ball was from that game. That, or Hatin' Ass Spurrier eBayed a beat up Spalding last fall and Sharpie'd that score on the side. "That? Oh yeah, ol' game ball from upsettin' Clemson back in '89. Dabo Swinney wasn't there then, so the stakes were higher. Couldn't call plays via dartboard."

2. Gators Helmet

Fair's fair, y'all. Florida's a big part of Spurrier's identity, so it's not surprising to spot that orange lid. And I'm not naive enough to think Spurrier hasn't pulled his weight to funnel non-takes to Gainesville. "Yeeeah, but I'll be honest with ya fella. We got tailbacks for days. You'd play your junior year, maybe, and I ain't so sure you wouldn't transfer to Coastal by then. Florida offered yet? Nah? Well hang tight, I'll call up Scooter--ol' golfin' buddy that's on the BOT. You'll hear from Billy Muschamp by noon. AIGHT?"

3. Rooster statuary, Gamecocks helmet

I'm assuming that's a statue and not a shiny-coated, living, breathing Sir Big Spur perched upon high. "Yeah, we crack an egg over his feedpile every morning. Keeps them feathers glistening. Whatcha mean 'cannibalistic'? We use pheasant eggs, son. This is the SEC and Earth Fare ain't ten minutes down the road."

4. A Picture of The Hit

Steve Spurrier has a photo of a defensive play on his shelf. Your argument is invalid.

5. Various footballs, a framed Under Armour certificate of some sort, and a foam finger.

Any guesses as to what's in that framed case? The flip-phone from the Click-Clack commercial, mayhaps?

6. A 49ers Helmet

7. Some Sort of Obsidian Pyramid

Spurrier=Illuminati.

8. A Tampa Bay Buccaneers Helmet

We can only assume the Butthead Cup is slightly out of frame.

There's also a putting setup, obviously, with at least three putters ("Whatcha got for me today, Ping blade? How about you, Titleist?") Beyond that, it's difficult to make out much else. Anyone see anything I'm missing?