The Head Ball Coach
Steve Spurrier is the Head Ball Coach of the South Carolina Gamecocks and a very entertaining person.
Spurrier's introductory presser from 11/23/04
Let's look back on his introductory press conference from Nov. 23, 2004.
Spurrier's Post-Game Press Conference
Spurrier on the defense, Dylan Thompson, and the big win for the Gamecocks
Spurrier Post-Game Press Conference
Spurrier talks about the Gamecocks almost pulling off the upset at Auburn
Jared Lorenzen does not like Steve Spurrier
RT spurrier: kentucky “has athletes now. they’re not the same slow team they used to be.”” God I hate that man. #ballcoach— jared lorenzen (@JaredLorenzen22) September 29, 2014
The first thing to note here is Jared's lack of skill in correctly retweeting someone. (Original tweet via Allen Kenney.) The second is that Lorenzen either a) took this too personally or b) doesn't realize just how bad Kentucky has been in recent years or c) that Steve Spurrier mean this as a compliment.
Steve Spurrier's halftime comments vs. Missouri
The Head Ball Coach assesses his team's performance after two quarters of play.
Steve Spurrier press conference live stream
Click the link above to watch a live stream of Steve Spurrier's weekly press conference. The Head Ball Coach will begin speaking at noon ET.
Spurrier weighs in on Ray Rice, domestic violence
"Our players know that they're gone if they hit a girl. They know it."
Quotes from Steve Spurrier's Sunday teleconference
The Head Ball Coach weighs in on the play of the defense, shortcomings in the passing game, and offers live play-by-play on a Jadeveon Clowney tackle for loss.
Spurrier: Mike Davis 'doubtful' vs. East Carolina
During his Sunday teleconference, Steve Spurrier said that Mike Davis is doubtful against East Carolina and hinted at a potential personnel change on the offensive line.
Kenny Chesney produced Steve Spurrier documentary
The first must-see programming on the SEC Network airs on Wednesday night. Don't miss it.
Steve Spurrier discusses golf
Spurs & Feathers sits down with the HBC to discuss non-Gamecock related items during the season, for some reason.
Here's a GIF of Steve Spurrier eating watermelon
Steve Spurrier stepped into the background of Dylan Thompson's post-practice interview and took a large bite of watermelon.
Steve Spurrier calls Nick Jones 'Governor Nicky'
Highlight of film study with Gamecocks likely that Spurrier calls WR Nick Jones "Governor Nicky."— Josh Kendall (@JoshatTheState) August 7, 2014
If you've heard Steve Spurrier talk about Nick Jones since the senior wideout came to Columbia in 2010, then you've probably used to hearing him called "Nicky." Well, Steve Spurrier has apparently taken it a step further and begun calling him "Governor Nicky," according to Josh Kendall of The State. You see, Nikki Haley is the governor of South Carolina and Nicky and Nikki are homophones. What additional references might Spurrier still append to the 5'6 receiver's existing nicknames? At this rate, it's not inconceivable that the HBC might end up calling him something like Governor Nicky Sixxpence None The Richard Pryor. Still, this is not the greatest logical leap that Steve Spurrier has taken in assigning a nickname to one of his players.
Would you rather fight a Spurrier-sized gamecock or 10 gamecock-sized Spurriers?
Would you rather fight a Spurrier-sized gamecock or 10 gamecock-sized Spurriers? It's an important question. So, naturally, Brandi Mills of The Big Spur put it to several Gamecock players and coaches at South Carolina's media day. Stick around for the end when she talks to the coaches. Watching adults squirm over how to answer a ridiculous hypothetical about fighting their boss makes for great entertainment.
Spurrier updates the status of Nosovitch, Blue
Steve Spurrier answered questions about Brendan Nosovitch, Joe Blue, and the SEC Network following practice on Thursday morning.
Spurrier updates Busta Anderson injury
After practice on Wednesday morning, Steve Spurrier provided injury updates on Busta Anderson and JT Surratt. He explained the thought process behind having the Gamecocks run the Oklahoma drill during practice on Tuesday evening.
Spurrier talks position battles and OOC scheduling
Steve Spurrier held court before the media at Williams-Brice Stadium on Sunday afternoon. With healthy doses of shade and actual football news, it made a fitting bookend to talking season.
This out-of-context vine of Steve Spurrier is hilarious and hypnotic
who says he can't recruit RT @ryanreal: @edsbs Good morning https://t.co/8HVkWXKZqj— Spencer Hall (@edsbs) July 25, 2014
Following South Carolina's annual media golf event last week, Steve Spurrier took some time to answer questions about the Gamecocks' chances of making a run at an SEC title in 2014. As he often does, the Head Ball Coach spent some time explaining how he'd rather take things one game at time instead of getting fixated on one or two opponents. He recalled his early days in Columbia and how one of his first acts was to rip down the "Beat Clemson" signage in the locker room. Taken out of context, his comments are hilarious and strangely hypnotic. I didn't realize that Spurrier had hired Tobias Funke as a speech writer.
Watch the trailer for the Spurrier documentary
Should we be worried about the Steve Spurrier documentary? This can't possibly be mishandled, right?
Spurrier to Jesse Palmer: Dylan Thompson is not as pretty as you
Steve Spurrier to Jesse Palmer comparing Palmer to starting QB Dylan Thompson: Not as pretty as you...#HBC #Barnyard— Matt Barrie (@MattBarrieESPN) July 15, 2014
OK, let's take stock of what has just transpired. Spurrier threw some serious shade on Palmer for the amount of attention he devotes to maintaining his good looks by calling him "prettier" than Dylan Thompson. Here, "pretty" is distinct from "attractive" in that it qualifies his appearance with a degree of femininity. While perhaps not the most forward-thinking insult Spurrier has ever dished out, this is still highly effective shade in the context of a 69-year-old man comparing two football players. In a single stroke, both Palmer and Thompson can consider themselves knocked down a peg, and that's why what Steve Spurrier does should be considered art.
Spurrier remains undefeated at Media Day
The Head Ball Coach once again put on the most entertaining performance of the SEC coaches assembled in Hoover for SEC Media Days.
If Steve Spurrier were on the cover of the ESPN 'body' issue
Obligatory Shirtless Spurrier Cover pic.twitter.com/yN7idh67oN— Kev Roché (@kevROSHAY) July 8, 2014
Check out more of Kev Roche's excellent work at Kev Draws and follow him on Twitter at @kevROSHAY.
Let's look at the stuff in Steve Spurrier's office
There's a rooster statue, or perhaps just a shiny rooster.
Steve Spurrier isn't the best with technology
As you might have guessed, the Head Ball Coach has not devoted much time to learning how to access mobile-friendly #content.
Spurrier celebrates birthday while wearing festive hat
Here is Steve Spurrier celebrating his birthday - party hat and all. pic.twitter.com/pKMVJrpBdL— Chris Dearing (@CDearing82) April 24, 2014
It's simultaneously frustrating and beautiful that the iPhone photographer didn't tap the area on his screen where Spurrier's face is. This would have refocused the photo on the Head Ball Coach rather than that patio chair in the foreground. As it is, we have a busy scene with relatives showering Spurrier with attention while Steve himself looks unamused, as if the big picture of getting older and eventually dying just hit him. At least he agreed to wear the hat on his 69th birthday.
Steve Spurrier talks Jadeveon Clowney, NFL Draft on The Dan Patrick Show
Steve Spurrier called in to The Dan Patrick Show on Thursday to share his thoughts on Merril Hoge's hot take about Jadeveon Clowney being an "atrocious" football player and what make some quarterbacks better suited for success in the NFL than others. The HBC also awkwardly alludes to a job that was offered to him four or five years ago.
Spurrier's first Tennessee jab of 2014
The first trollin' of spring is here.
Steve Spurrier speaks after final spring practice
Steve Spurrier talks about his trip to Augusta, Ga. for The Masters and reveals that the off-the-bench pass-catcher will be a local celebrity. He didn't have much to say (or to be asked about, apparently) regarding the football practice that just happened.
HBC's Post-Practice Comments, via Google Translate
"Well known starter is not important at this time."
Spurrier nicknames TE after Burt Reynolds show
The Head Ball Coach's method for remembering the names of some of his players offers another window into his unique psychological makeup.