Every week for the better part of two years this lady has popped up on our screens during SEC football.
She’s attractive enough. Her voice is pleasant enough. Her league approved message, “It just means more,” is the perfect picture of everything the rest of the college football loving public hates about the SEC.
Overall play in the SEC has fallen off. The ACC, by all measurable statistics, had a better 2016 than the SEC. So did the Big T - excuse me, the B1G. None of that matters to us though, because what we do here, amongst ourselves, that just means more than you nerds could ever understand.
But back to the topic at hand. Who the hell is that woman?
Turns out her name is Wynn Everett. That link will take you to a profile of her. Turns out she went to Auburn and has family that went to Vandy, UGA and Bama.
But that profile doesn’t answer my two biggest questions.
- How old is Wynn Everett?
- Why Wynn Everett?
Let’s take these one at a time.
HOW OLD IS WYNN EVERETT?
Why is this important? Well, honestly, it isn’t. It is just something about her that drives me insane.
Look at her. You could tell me she’s 27. You could tell me she’s 44. I would believe either. Turns out she is 39. “39 and looking fine” as my mother would say as she giggles to herself.
I feel really bad about bringing this up. Women in Hollywood go through enough BS regarding their looks and their age without me sitting here on a Gamecocks football blog and yelling that a woman pushing 40 makes my head hurt because she has aged insanely well.
I’m not defending it. I am simply saying that rather than just pick up my phone and Google the answer, I have sent this text message over and over again.
These guys were my college roommates. They can attest that this question has perplexed me for the better part of two years.
WHY WYNN EVERETT?
The SEC is not without its actor and actress alumni, like Jon Hamm at Missouri or Molly Sims at Vanderbilt. The conference has trusted newsmen like CNN’s Don Lemon, who graduated from LSU, and Shepard Smith from Fox News, who talks about his time at Ole Miss any chance he gets. There are media members synonymous with college football. Fox’s Erin Andrews is a Florida alum. College Gameday host Rece Davis went to Alabama.
So why Wynn Everett? Outside of Charlie Wilson’s War, I’ve never heard of anything she’s been in.
The answer to the second question is in the first question.
Why Wynn Everett? Because she could pass for 27 or she could pass for 45. She has a pleasant voice. She is someone the whole family can be comfortable with as the person holding the torch for a conference that leads judges to emblazon their gavels with pictures of pigs
or force a baby to sleep in a football helmet.
By the way, look at that picture. That is too perfect. That can’t be a real baby right? That’s gotta be a middle-aged man with some kind of hormone deficiency. An infant can’t take direction like that.
After writing this, I am still not entirely sure who Wynn Everett is, but I can tell you that she checks all the boxes, so much like this God awful slogan, she isn’t going anywhere for a while.