SEC Power Rankings: Rudy Giuliani.gif Edition

The SEC really delivered on the goods on Saturday. It started with Carolina and UGA, which had literally all the emotions. Then it was Texas A&M who, for one glorious drive, looked like they were going to give Bama some problems. The night ended with Florida and LSU playing a game of pinball. A crazy night like that requires the facial expressions of a kook to properly explain.

Enter Rudolph William Louis Giuliani.

Look, this isn’t a political thing. We can all agree that Rudy is nuts and between his Fox News and CNN appearances and Lorne Michaels’s willingness to put him on SNL, there is a lot of tape available. The President’s personal lawyer (one of like three that I can name) and former mayor of New York City may have been put on this Earth specifically to help me with this particular column.

We have a good number of shakeups this week, so let’s quit wasting time and get to the rankings.

1. LSU (6-0)

Their defense is suspect, but kinda everyone’s is right now except for Wisconsin. I’ve been saying this the past couple of weeks and I feel comfortable continuing to say that LSU is the best team in

2. BAMA (6-0)

Joseph Bulovas donked two kicks off the uprights and both went in. If Bama kickers are still doing Bama kicker things but now managing to score, this team might be unstoppable.

3. FLORIDA (6-1)

I know a lot of you are going to use Saturday night as evidence that Florida isn’t really a top ten team, but Trask makes this offense a lot better and that front is beyond legit, so before you want to argue that they should be an easy win for the Cocks,

4. AUBURN (5-1)

The Tigers took a week off to prepare for...

*checks notes*

Arkansas?

5. GEORGIA (5-1)

Rodrigo Blankenship trying to explain his day to his teammates.

6. MISSOURI (5-1)

When ask a Missouri fan if it is possible that their team’s record is a product of their schedule and really, because it probably is a product of their schedule, shouldn’t the Tigers be undefeated right now:

7. SOUTH CAROLINA (3-3)

To everyone (self included) that said UGA would dick around in the first half and then end up winning by three scores:

8. TEXAS A&M (3-3)

Jimbo Fisher when you ask him to justify his paycheck:

9. OLE MISS (3-4)

A sentence you will hear at least 30 times if you spend an afternoon tailgating on the Grove:

10. MISSISSIPPI STATE (3-3)

Losing to Tennessee:

11. KENTUCKY (3-3)

After spending a year in a nicer neighborhood, Kentucky is starting to realize that in their hearts, they always knew they belonged on the dead end street where Vanderbilt lives.

12. TENNESSEE (2-4)

Well, the Vols finally got an SEC win. They go to Tuscaloosa next week. Any chance they make it 2 in a row?

13. ARKANSAS (2-4)

Razorback fans when I tell them it’s pretty likely they don’t beat anyone else all season. No, I didn’t forget about Western Kentucky.

14. VANDERBILT (1-5)

Before Saturday, the only team UNLV had beaten all year was a 1-6 FCS team called Southern Utah. The Rebels held Vandy to fewer points and fewer total yards.