We have a capable staff here at GABA. I will leave in-depth breakdowns of what happened on Saturday to everyone else. I am here to lighten the mood with gifs and dampen the mood with power rankings!
Seeing as how we only have a one game sample size for everyone, I don’t think it is fair to start ranking teams 1-14 just yet. Instead, today we are going to put all 14 SEC teams into tiers based on their results over the past week (2 in Florida’s case).
So, with no further ado, we turn to the Marvel Cinematic Universe - Spider-Man included - to deliver this week’s SEC Power Rankings.
TIER 1: YOU BEAT A POWER 5 TEAM
Bama got off to a slow start and showed that there may be some cracks starting to form in the proverbial armor, but when the cracks are having to play a lot of freshmen, those are more likely to heal than to get worse as the season goes along.
Gus to everyone that was a part of making him lower his buyout last year.
Boy, after that week 0 game it is easy to think that the preseason top 10 ranking may have arrived in Gainesville a year too soon.
Thank God Georgia won a game, because their fans spent the whole afternoon pining for Justin Fields.
TIER 2: YOU LOOKED GOOD, BUT YOU BEAT A G5 TEAM
Joe Burrow was insanely efficient. The defense was disciplined against the triple. LSU might just be legitimately good this year.
Texas State is undeniably terrible, but the Aggies did everything right on offense and put on an absolute show on defense
TIER 3: LARGELY UNIMPRESSIVE & MEANINGLESS WIN
Look Arkansas fans, I know it isn’t ideal, but did you watch any of that game? Beating a so-so FCS team by a touchdown might be the best you look all season.
Kentucky struggled to shake off Toledo for two and a half quarters before remembering that even without Benny Snell, the Wildcats have no business struggling with a MAC team.
I mean, you didn’t lose and you got to spend a long weekend in New Orleans. Why complain?
TIER 4: HOW THE HELL DID YOU LOSE?
Missouri’s defense in the second quarter when Barry Odom was trying to relay the game plan.
Pictured in the foreground, Jake Bentley. In the background, Carolina’s bowl hopes.
I still think Tennessee can turn this around and be relevant in the East this year.
TIER 5: MAYBE YOU JUST SUCK THIS YEAR
The ghost of Hugh Freeze and his hooker cell phone will be haunting this program for a long time.
Vanderbilt certainly wasn’t expected to give Georgia much of a challenge, but not being able to score against the Dawgs’ backups probably didn’t do anything to cool off Derek Mason’s hot seat.