/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/66407610/9660876.0.jpg)
Hello, friends, allow me to tell you the story of South Carolina and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad baseball game.
It was Friday night in Columbia and the Gamecocks were coming off a close midweek win over a team they should have beaten handily. It was time for one of the biggest series of the year, the one against a team that inexplicably chooses to wear purple and orange and has one of the most unoriginal mascots ever. You may know them as Clemson. The Tigers came into this game with a good record, despite not having a terribly impressive offense so far this season. The tide, however, was about to turn.
After three scoreless, mostly offense-less innings for both teams, Clemson started scoring runs, despite the fact that no one asked them to. They in fact scored six runs on a trio of two-run homers in the fourth, fifth, and sixth innings. That’s just showing off and it’s not very nice when you’re the guest. Meanwhile, USC not only didn’t score any runs during that time, they didn’t even get a single hit. Seems like a poor strategy if you ask me, but I quit t-ball after three practices, so I’m no expert. But I digress.
Back to our story: the Tigers added one more run, this time on a mere triple, in the seventh. The Gamecocks finally did exactly one (1) good thing at the plate, as Brady Allen hit a leadoff home run in the ninth inning to end the shutout and the no-hitter. This is called a moral victory, and it’s not the kind of victory you want. Alas.
But listen, dear reader, there was another problematic group in this story - the Carolina defense, who made four errors. In one game! More errors than hits! You shouldn’t do that if you want to win a baseball game! Even though the Gamecocks helped Clemson more than they should have, they also lucked out in that the Tigers didn’t score a few times when they had chances. #blessed!
Unfortch, the pitching was also not great, considering the whole seven runs allowed thing. I can only assume the pitchers were all so distracted by the hideous uniforms worn by the visitors that it messed with their throwing.
So we come to the moral of the story: having no offense, sloppy defense, and pitching struggles is no way to win a baseball game, or to even be competitive in a baseball game.
The Gamecocks will have a chance to avenge this dismal showing when they take on Clemson again on Saturday afternoon. First pitch is scheduled for 3 p.m. at Founders Park.