South Carolina Spring Game: Quick Hits, Part 2—Stupid stuff.

If you'd like actual analysis of the Spring Game, go here.

Best moment: While we've all seen Jadeveon Clowney off-the-sidelines catch, the day's best unscripted moment occurred when Victor Hampton ate dirt while hamming after play. As the crowd broke into laughter, Hampton played it off by rolling around like a piece of driftwood in the surf, before springing up and waving his arms to hearty applause.

A guy who looks mammoth in pads: Redshirt freshman OL Mason Zandi.

A guy who looked the opposite of that: The kid playing DE in the fourth quarter who couldn't have been 5'10". Why he was playing DE of all positions, I'm not entirely sure.

Best line from Spurrier (paraphrased): "Okay, y'all can go now." — Directed towards the women's teams after honoring their successful seasons. Spurrier said it off-mic, but it was very audible.

Perry Orth Award (given to player who embodies walk-on backup QB Perry Orth): QB Perry Orth

Number of Tailgaiting Spots Occupied By Clemson Fans: At least one, serving as a deflating reminder that there are individuals whose lives are comprised of such little substance that "tailgaiting in defiance at an opponent's spring game" is a more appealing endeavor than, say, "volunteering," "attending my own team's spring game," or "doing nothing at all."

Number of Breaths Held When Jadeveon Clowney Slipped: Countless.

Appeal of Multicolored Sno-Cones as the day wore on: Increasing.

GABA Writers' Collective Cornhole Skills: Lacking.

GABA Writers Who Refuse to Call it Cornhole: Feathered Warrior.

Percentage of Spring Game Attendees Thankful To Have Something to Talk About Other Than Yesterday's Baseball Game: 100%.