With our Halloween hootenanny in College Station just two days out, it's high time we bone up on our A&Monomics. What better way than shooting the breeze with Rush Roberts, aka noted must-follow Dr. Norris Comacho. He sat down* with** us*** to psychoanalyze Myles Garrett, evaluate A&M's QB woes, and speculate as to the likely whereabouts of Steve Spurrier during Saturday's contest. My answers to their queries shall appear at Good Bull Hunting.
I'm a South Carolina fan, so I've pretended college football doesn't exist for the better part of this season. Thus, I could use a bit of a broadstroke evaluation of the strengths and weaknesses of the 2015 Aggies.
DEAN'S LIST: Special teams. We've got one of the nation's best punters, Christian Kirk returning punts, and a kicker who's hit a few from 50+.
B+ IMPROVING: The defense. Chavis is as advertised so far. Myles Garrett is still shedding blockers like Arnold in Kindergarten Cop, and we have some playmakers in the secondary in Donovan Wilson and Armani Watts.
[INCOMPLETE]: The offense. Something is wrong. It's broken and we can't get it to work anymore. Do you have Steve Spurrier's number?
Assuming there is one, what's your roadmap to victory for the Gamecocks that doesn't involve getting Myles Garrett loaded on amontillado and walling him up in a wine cellar?
Come out quick and get a few points on our defense before they adjust, then sit back while our offense is too befuddled to move the ball at all. Hope for a few turnovers. Alabama and Ole Miss executed this plan to perfection.
Is there any legitimate concern over Kevin Sumlin being coaxed to USCw, or is that just unfounded gasbaggery crackling forth from fingertips of Klout-thirsty beatwriters?
The more myopic Aggies among us will be quick to dismiss the rumors and insist A&M is the better job, as if USCw isn't still a place where you can play football near the beach around movie stars. I get that he's getting paid here and has a good thing going, but the notion of going to Southern Cal is never going to be just dismissed out-of-hand by any serious coach. HOWEVA. I believe that Sumlin wants to accomplish more here at A&M before he decides to move on, and will stick around for another few years at least.
In summary: I don't know.
Talk about the Aggies past two games vis-a-vis their first five. Did 5-0 feel flukey, or was the feeling that A&M had a shot to hang with Bama and Ole Miss? What's to blame for the shaky play?
Everyone was worried that this was turning into another 2014, but Arizona State's improvement in early October coupled with the solid showing against Mississippi State managed to soothe a few ruffled feathers. The last two games took care of any shreds of hope for an SECCG appearance.
The problem for once is not the defense. There has been a growing clamor on Aggie social media now since last year regarding the inconsistencies on offense. The convenient answer is to blame Spavital, and he has been pretty disappointing this year, but I'm still firmly in the "trust Sumlin" camp and feel that he knows what he's doing with regards to the offense. Just hope he reveals this zen-like state of offense to the masses sooner rather than later before we regress too much more and everyone loses their damn minds completely.
Kyle Allen had an especially rough game. What's the fanbase's general mood regarding the quarterback position?
At this point it's throwing darts at a dartboard. We hear that Allen is not injured so it's clear that his confidence is pretty tattered. We hear that Kyler Murray said mean things to Spavital. We hear that Jake Hubenak threw the football over them mountains. We hear many things and believe few. We are a jaded crowd when it comes to QB rumors, as you might imagine.
How excited are y'all to be playing South Carolina (83rd defensive S&P+) right now?
Looking forward to stringing together 2 (two!) touchdown drives on offense, which would match our output from the last 10 quarters or so.
Name a South Carolina player you'd like to have on your roster, and why is it Skai Moore?
Well, actually, it's
[cannot maintain the facade more than two seconds; breaks down]
Yes. It is. It's Skai Moore. Our linebackers are more than capable...when they are healthy. And they've been dinged-up constantly for 1.5 seasons now. A playmaker at that level would really tie the defense together since we're much stronger in the secondary and on the line.
Is Myles Garrett going to do significant harm to Perry Orth?
Myles Garrett is a gentle giant. If he knocks Perry Orth's arm out of socket, he'll calmly distract him before firmly but gently re-setting it, then give him a pat on the helmet and an "attaboy."
Just tell me it's going to be okay.
No way. We are in this thing together for better or worse, Cross-Division Rival.
Two predictions: Final score, and what Steve Spurrier will be doing while this game is being played.
a) 27-17 Aggies
b) anything he damn well pleases, but he will be wearing shades when he does it.