Today our beloved Head Ball Coach turns the big 7-0, and we here at GABA hope he has the happiest of birthdays. A man who has been around for seven decades probably already has a fairly decent amount of stuff, and his wife is probably going to get him a book, but here's what we'd like to get Steve Spurrier for his birthday:
- Some extra timeouts - The HBC has a lot of talent when it comes to coaching, but management of timeouts has caused some problems in the past. So, we think he should have a few extra timeouts, just in case.
- Tickets to a country music concert, featuring literally anybody but Kenny Chesney - It's no secret that the #ChesneyCurse has ruined multiple Gamecocks sporting events, and Spurrier's continued friendship with Chesney only provides more opportunities for the perpetually-sleeveless wonder to wreak more havoc. We need to help the HBC find someone less dangerous.
- A book of Dabo's greatest quotes - Everyone needs a pick-me-up now and then, and what better to give Spurrier some laughs than a collection of the best comments from the Upstate's most well-known wordsmith?
- Some new workout gear - We have now seen more than once that before he inevitably ends his workout sans shirt, the HBC works out in a polo shirt and sweater vest with a bandana tied around his head. While that is a unique look, maybe we could get him some moisture wicking shirts or something.
- A custom golf cart - Spurrier's love of golf is well-known, and he uses a golf cart to get around at practice sometimes too, so it only makes sense that he gets a customized cart. He could model it after USC President Harris Pastides' Mini Cooper and get a big Block C on top, and there'd obviously have to be a few cup holders inside so he could have multiple cans of Sprite available at all times. A small hook on which he could hang his visor might be a nice touch, too.