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I love Twitter. It's the main reason that my iPhone battery life has never survived a work day. It's extremely useful for following breaking news and, for people who are emotionally dependent upon the outcomes of games played by teenagers they've never met, it's vital.
"But who should I follow? Who should I avoid following? Why is there no series Garnet & Black Attack posts addressing this matter?"
Those are all great questions. And that's why, after a brief misstep, I enlisted the graphic wizardry and razor-sharp wit of Gamecock'n'balls to assist me in creating Garnet & Blacketology: The College Tworld Series, a virtual tournament to determine the most essential Gamecock-related Twitter account.
Behold the gorgeous 32-player bracket that my esteemed co-author created after the jump.
So how will the one true champion be determined? By random chance? By a secret cadre of Ivy League elitists? No! The champion will be decided by YOU, of course. On Monday, June 4th we'll open voting on round one. On Tuesday we'll open voting on round two. On Wednesday, round three. And then come on, you know how numbers work.
When voting concludes next Friday we'll have decided once and for all who has the best Twitter account and, best of all, we'll be free from all blame if you elect someone stupid as the President of the Gamecock Twittersphere. I will, however, take full responsibility for the arbitrary regions and seeding process, so don't blame Gamecock'n'balls for that. He did, however, help me with breaking down the candidacy of each Tworld Series hopeful below.
Blogger/Paysite Writer Region
(1) @GCChrisClark
Why he's here: Chris only tweets when he has something worthwhile to say and is well-connected and knowledgeable on just about anything you would want to know about Gamecock football and recruiting.
Why he could be seeded lower: Gamecock Central's paywall limits your access to his work if you're not a subscriber, and Chris focuses exclusively on football, which could be considered a positive or a negative, depending on what you're looking for in a Gamecock tweeter.
(2) @johnmwhittle
Why he's here: He's basically the The Big Spur's answer to Chris Clark, but with an emphasis on baseball instead of football.
Why he's not seeded higher: Emphasizes baseball instead of football.
(3) @LifeOfaGamecock
Why he's here: Adam is in step with most major pay sites as far as timely dissemination of USC sports news. Not bad for a guy who's essentially doing it in his spare time.
Why he's not seeded higher: No great reason. It's just a tough bracket.
(4) @RubrChickens
Why they're here: The Rubber Chickens is the funniest Gamecock blog around.
Why they should be seeded higher: In retrospect, they probably should be higher.
(5) @WesMitchellSC
Why he's here: Twitter-wise, Wes is essentially the Scout.com version of Chris Clark, but diversifies his coverage a bit to include some live tweeting of non-football sporting events.
Why he should be seeded higher: Wes is a guy whose seeding is probably adversely affected by the time of year we decided to do this. There's a good chance I would have given him a higher seeding during football season. Also, we probably didn't give enough weight to the fact that he has the good taste to follow @HalfCockedShow.
(6) @ScottHoo63
Why he's here: Les Miles likes the cut of his jib. Also, Scott's good about responding to questions from followers (although his refusal to adhere to Twitter Q&A conventions can making tracking the conversation a bit difficult).
Why he's not seeded higher: Scott Hood is the Ministry of Propoganda. The tone of his tweets is often, "Success is imminent" or "This is why the USC is becoming a national power in college athletics." The glass isn't just half-full; it's brimming with Dom, and he's pours it all over his followers by the gallon, son. He'll also throw in a self-deprecating "take my wife, please!" tweet for good measure.
(7) @DCatGCKCentral
Why he's here: His access.
Why he's not seeded higher: Cloninger reacts to each Braves loss in a manner more befitting a man who just walked in on Fredi Gonzalez and The Ghost of Jeff Francoeur tag teaming his wife, making David an extraordinarily difficult follow during baseball season. Also, his apparent belief that every offense that doesn't exclusively run out of the I-formation is "gimmicky" wears thin pretty quickly. Finally, the fact that his Twitter avatar doesn't show up on my iPhone is irksome.
(8) @SpursUpBlog
Why she's here: We needed 8 slots for each region.
Why she could be higher: Brittany Lane, the Spurs Up Blog's author, is the token "youngster" in the Athletic Department, and Spurs Up is probably the best way to get your dose of press releases and university-produced videos, which can be hit or miss.
Athlete Region
(1) @mtRoth29
Why he's here: As you might expect, Michael Roth's Twitter feed is clever and engaging. He typically avoids the mundane tweets most athletes publish. And every now and then you get a gem like this.
Why he should be lower: He shouldn't be.
(2) @31milesaway
Why he's here: Kenny Miles demonstrates superior Clemson trolling skills and exceeds expectations in References to 1990s Nickelodeon Programming.
Why he should be seeded lower: I'm still trying to figure out what he means by "<<<<<<<<<."
(3) @ChadKelly12
Why he's here: Is "the best parody account is one that does not know it is a parody" an adage yet? Because it should be, if Chad Kelly's feed is any indication.
Why he's not higher: Technically not a Gamecock.
(4) @FrankMartin_SC
Why he's here: Frank Martin's tweeting style is what I call, "Inspirational Tween." Never use four letters when one number will do, that's Frank's motto! It's hysterical to see this intimidating figure write things like, "can not w8 4 u to c r plyers."
Why he's not higher: Reneged his endorsement of The Village Idiot pizza in favor of the The Thirsty Fellow, which I have never heard of and thus reflexively hate.
(5) @LattTwoOne
Why he's here: It's refreshing that Lattimore's twitter feed is more or less a reflection of how I think he is--a 20 year old kid who is social but minds his Ps and Qs. The opposite of this is Damiere Byrd, who is well-spoken and pleasant, and yet his twitter feed is a string of unintelligble halfwords. By the way, honorable mention to Damiere for the cleverist handle, "@Look_in_Damiere"
Why he's not higher: Because he hasn't decided to be.
(6) @DrewOwens88
Why he's here: Has displayed a remarkable sense of humor about the knee injury he sustained during the spring game.
Why he's not higher: He seems to think Charlotte is a much more interesting place than anyone I've ever met.
(7) @TCamp6011
Why he's here: Terrence won me over with his tweets about his visits to Kenny McKinley's gravesite, which are simultaneously heartbreaking and hilarious.
Why he's not higher: Like a lot of the football players, his feed becomes white noise to me when he's tweeting about the NBA.
(8) @Wheres_Reptar
Why he's here: Because everyone needs to know the current latitude and longitude of the baseball team's unofficial mascot.
Why he's not higher: Hey Reptar, want to step it up? Your magic's been a bit suspect lately, pal.
Journalist Region
(1) @SportsTalkSC
Why they're here: They provide a lot of news that other sites charge for, especially when it comes to recruiting.
Why they should be lower: They're far too willing to engage with and retweet the idiots that accuse them of having a pro-Clemson or -USC bias, which often results in a clogged timeline.
(2) @DarrylSlater
Why he's here: Has done a respectable job filling the legendary Travis Haney's shoes at the Charleston Post & Courier
Why he's not higher: Do you like wrestling? Do you like the Mets? What? You hate BOTH of those things? Well, too bad.
(3) @ikurshudyan
Why she's here: Isabelle does a solid job as the sports editor of the Daily Gamecock.
Why she's not higher: Her seeding is adversely affected by the fact that I haven't had interest in the NBA since 1999. Even when it's a trained writer tweeting about the NBA, it's still white noise to me.
(4) @GamecockRadio
Why he's here: Andy Demetra a lot of research for his broadcasts, which he often shares on his fascinating blog Inside The Chart. (We're evaluating Twitter feeds only here, not broadcasting skills.)
Why he's not higher: Alleged Yankee, responsible for the cliche-addled script in this video.
(5) @Andy_Staples
Why he's here: One of the few national CFB writers who has a perspective on the South Carolina football program that I'm interested in reading.
Why he's not higher: From Irmo.
(6) @TravHaneyESPN
Why he's here: Even though he is no longer on the Gamecock beat, Travis belongs on this list for his lifetime achievement in Gamecockery. When Travis shipped off to Norman to cover the Sooners, it was just too painful to see him tweeting about another school. It was like seeing an ex-girlfriend on Facebook post pictures with her new boyfriend, who is more successful and respected than you, but you've been killing it at the gym and just got a raise and don't live in a flyover state so really what's he got that you don't besides a championship ring and steady access to Stoops Face? Er...anyway, glad to be reading Travis' work again now that he's with ESPN (though he too is behind a paywall).
Why he's not higher: He left us. He left us.
(7) @JoshAtTheState
Why he's here: Josh broke the story about Spurrier not considering "fat, sloppy" guys for assistant coaching vacancies.
Why he's not higher: The State is still a thing?
(8) @BSenkiwAIM
Why they're here: The Anderson Independent Mail has a Gamecock beat writer?
Why he should be higher: There's a thing called the Anderson Independent Mail?
Entertainment
(1) @ITS_DABO
Why he's here: ALL IN. ALL CAPS. ALL THE TIME.
Why he should be seeded lower: You can't divide by zero. You can't spend more than $10 buying pleated khakis and a grey sweatshirt at Dollar General. And you can't seed @ITS_DABO any lower than 1.
(2) @TeamGarcia5
Why she's here: A slice of Gamecock life that we're lucky to have around. Quirky, informative, at times ridiculous. A must-follow. Be sure to read her tweets on your iPhone for the full, Emoji-enabled experience.
Why she's not higher: Sometimes strays from Gamecock subject matter, which isn't necessarily bad but may turn off some. Often retweets a dog, which means someone created a twitter feed for a dog.
(3) @NoStephenGarcia
Why he's here: Snitches. Bronson. That is all.
Why he's not seeded higher: 10/1/2011
(4) @Haney1075
Why he's here: Michael Haney is of the more thoughtful observers of Gamecock athletics. He alerts you to interesting guests that are about to appear on 107.5 The Game. Likes The White Stripes.
Why he should be lower: Likes the Red Hot Chili Peppers.
(5) @LOLClemson
Why they're here: This.
Why they're not seeded higher: Frequency of posting is strongly correlated with hilarious things happening to Clemson. Those things happen a lot, but there are occasional dry spells.
(6) @HeathRadio
Why he's here: Heath is an occasional voice of sanity on the sports talk radio landscape and talked me off of some ledges during the tail end of the Stephen Garcia era.
Why he's not seeded higher: Heath sometimes manufactures opinions just for the sake of having one (sort of like what we're doing with this post!), but I guess that comes with the territory of being a sports talk radio host.
(7) @JayPhilips1075
Why he's here: We ran out of parody accounts, so I made the decision to include sports talk radio hosts in this bracket.
Why he's not seeded higher: Do you like Rick Perry? Oh, you don't? Well, too bad.
(8) @ChickenHoops
Why he's here: Pure potential. He's the only combination Gamecock fan and advanced basketball stats enthusiast of whom I'm aware.
Why he shouldn't have made the field: Recently deleted his blog, possibly as part of Darrin Horn's buyout.